mattpacer's definitions

mummy fisting

When a girl is so dry it is like trying to fist a mummified corpse.

Jake: So what happened last night with that bird?
James: nothing good, all I got was an aching arm after mummy fisting for 5 minutes

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

straight outta gatorade

When a man cums in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Fran: So, how was that guy you took home last night?
Gemma: Don't ask, 30 seconds in and he was straight outta gatorade.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

cunt sandwich

Middle lane cunt surrounded on either side by people who know how to drive

Simon was cruising down the motorway, ahead he can see a car in the middle lane with the slow lane completely empty .He sees a silver lupo aggressively on its tail and moving towards the inside lane to undercut. So Simon had no choice but to take the outer lane and cunt sandwich the fuck outa the wanker in the middle lane .

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

backwards shit

Straddling the toilet when taking a dump.

Simon was feeling anxious because his morning shit was overdue and traditional squat and drop wasn't working. He was feeling dangerous, so committed himself to a backwards shit.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

poop troop

The band of sisters to which all women belong. Girls who poop together stay together. Girls must attend the bathroom together, usually to poop.

Brad: why must women always make toilet together?
Tom: it's the poop troop

by mattpacer May 16, 2016

anal tremors

The involuntarily contractions of the anus while waiting for penetration.

Greg: I love watching your rim twitch like that, it's so hot
Steph: I can't help it babe, I've got anal tremors

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

mildly moist

A horrible way to describe anything slightly wet.

Tim: I couldn't get that chick last night any more than mildly moist.
Ben: you got no game dude.

by mattpacer May 16, 2016