mattpacer's definitions

cunt sandwich

Middle lane cunt surrounded on either side by people who know how to drive

Simon was cruising down the motorway, ahead he can see a car in the middle lane with the slow lane completely empty .He sees a silver lupo aggressively on its tail and moving towards the inside lane to undercut. So Simon had no choice but to take the outer lane and cunt sandwich the fuck outa the wanker in the middle lane .

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

backwards shit

Straddling the toilet when taking a dump.

Simon was feeling anxious because his morning shit was overdue and traditional squat and drop wasn't working. He was feeling dangerous, so committed himself to a backwards shit.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

car whore

Person, typically a man, who loves his car more than his girlfriend.

Becky: Who put your new car as your background?
Simon: I did of course.
Becky: What the fuck, what's wrong with the picture you had of us?
Simon: You know I love you too.
Becky: Your such a car whore.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

ass smudge

When an offensively fat individual sits down on the toilet, misses the centre and leaves a gross shit stain on the back edge of the toilet seat.

Timmy: I swear if Simon leaves one more ass smudge on the toilet seat I'm going to flip.
Craig: Man he can't help it, he huge.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

straight outta gatorade

When a man cums in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Fran: So, how was that guy you took home last night?
Gemma: Don't ask, 30 seconds in and he was straight outta gatorade.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

game shame

The regretful feeling of a life wasted after finishing a 12 hour plus gaming sesh. Immediately followed by the need to play more games.

Steve: man Simon sounded down last night.
Chris: he'll be okay tomorrow when he logs back in, it's the only cure for game shame.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

i just know, okay

How to explain away a lack of evidence or facts to back up the shit you are spouting.

Simon: that new girl would definitely rather fuck me than you.
Dan: what's that based on then?
Simon: I just know, okay

by mattpacer May 15, 2016