mattpacer's definitions

ass smudge

When an offensively fat individual sits down on the toilet, misses the centre and leaves a gross shit stain on the back edge of the toilet seat.

Timmy: I swear if Simon leaves one more ass smudge on the toilet seat I'm going to flip.
Craig: Man he can't help it, he huge.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

cock fried

When you have so much sex your dick feels like it has been deep fried.

omg last night Stacy was crazy, she wouldn't quit. I'm totally cock fried

by mattpacer May 16, 2016

stoop waffle

The involuntarily release of poop when bending over.

Jade: oh no
Mindy: what?
Jade: I think I just cooked up a stoop waffle

by mattpacer May 16, 2016

game shame

The regretful feeling of a life wasted after finishing a 12 hour plus gaming sesh. Immediately followed by the need to play more games.

Steve: man Simon sounded down last night.
Chris: he'll be okay tomorrow when he logs back in, it's the only cure for game shame.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

i just know, okay

How to explain away a lack of evidence or facts to back up the shit you are spouting.

Simon: that new girl would definitely rather fuck me than you.
Dan: what's that based on then?
Simon: I just know, okay

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

straight outta gatorade

When a man cums in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Fran: So, how was that guy you took home last night?
Gemma: Don't ask, 30 seconds in and he was straight outta gatorade.

by mattpacer May 15, 2016

mummy fisting

When a girl is so dry it is like trying to fist a mummified corpse.

Jake: So what happened last night with that bird?
James: nothing good, all I got was an aching arm after mummy fisting for 5 minutes

by mattpacer May 15, 2016