Simon: that new girl would definitely rather fuck me than you.
Dan: what's that based on then?
Simon: I just know, okay
Dan: what's that based on then?
Simon: I just know, okay
by mattpacer May 15, 2016

Jake: So what happened last night with that bird?
James: nothing good, all I got was an aching arm after mummy fisting for 5 minutes
James: nothing good, all I got was an aching arm after mummy fisting for 5 minutes
by mattpacer May 15, 2016

Fran: So, how was that guy you took home last night?
Gemma: Don't ask, 30 seconds in and he was straight outta gatorade.
Gemma: Don't ask, 30 seconds in and he was straight outta gatorade.
by mattpacer May 15, 2016
