mark h's definitions
A way to describe how you run when you are very much in a hurry to get to one place, person, or thing, or to get away from something or someone or to leave your current location.
1. "Dude you're telling me you have the beer shits? Hurry up, run like your ass is on fire, and find a poopalorium before you'll end up in the biggest embarrassment of your life!"
2. When LCpl. William alligator armed the grenade he tried to throw at a group of Iraqi insurgents and it fell six feet short of him, he knew he had to take off running like his ass was on fire to avoid being sent home in a coffin draped in his own country's flag, being injured for life, or worse, being buried like a dead animal by the insurgents he was combating with.
Mark H. UD contributer since last February.
2. When LCpl. William alligator armed the grenade he tried to throw at a group of Iraqi insurgents and it fell six feet short of him, he knew he had to take off running like his ass was on fire to avoid being sent home in a coffin draped in his own country's flag, being injured for life, or worse, being buried like a dead animal by the insurgents he was combating with.
Mark H. UD contributer since last February.
by Mark H April 6, 2005
Get the like your ass is on firemug. 1(noun).Shortened form of the word "Jujitsu" or "Jiu-Jitsu," which is a Japanese type of martial arts.
2(verb).To beat up someone by means of using the intuitive skills and knowledge of Jujitsu.
3(noun).A nickname for any Japanese person who has the letters "jitsu" in his/her name, as in "Fujitsu."
2(verb).To beat up someone by means of using the intuitive skills and knowledge of Jujitsu.
3(noun).A nickname for any Japanese person who has the letters "jitsu" in his/her name, as in "Fujitsu."
1. I am such a wuss at school and I'm always getting picked on. I should learn some Jitz to teach those bastards a lesson.
2. Yesterday at school, I totally jitzed that fucker up! You should have seen him laying in the pissoir with a bloody face and 3 broken ribs!
3. Oh god, now if I lose those important documents, the Jitz will fire me and leave me out in the street!
2. Yesterday at school, I totally jitzed that fucker up! You should have seen him laying in the pissoir with a bloody face and 3 broken ribs!
3. Oh god, now if I lose those important documents, the Jitz will fire me and leave me out in the street!
by Mark H August 14, 2004
Get the Jitzmug. British sort of rhyming slang term used in place of "dump" when someone says "I gotta go take a dump."
by Mark H June 25, 2004
Get the forrest gumpmug. It doesn't just have to be semen, it can be any liquid or powdered substance. Salt, pepper, sugar, hot sauce, anything goes.
The USMC drill sergeant has just woken up an oversleeping cadet by setting off the Lagasse alarm, throwing pepper on the man's face.
"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"
"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"
by Mark H July 11, 2004
Get the lagasse alarmmug. Phone sex convo between two gay male politicians:
Gay Politician 1: Maybe later we can go back to my place and I can take your census.
Gay Politician 2: Only if you'll filibuster.
Gay Politician 1: Reapportion me, baby
Gay Politician 2: Oh I'll do it, you carpetbagger.
Gay Politician 1: Porkbarrel me!
Gay Politician 1: There's some logrolling going on... IN MY PANTS.
Gay Politician 2: You want PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION?
Gay Politician 1: I think I have a majority of your ass.
Gay Politician 2: Oh man, I think I just lost my seat.
Gay Politician 1: I'm about to incumbent!
Gay Politician 2: Errg. Oh YEAH! This session of congress is now over.
Gay Politician 1: Care to adjourn, then?
Gay Politician 2: I just did.
Gay Politician 1: Can we call a special session?
Gay Politician 2: As long as you give me your soft money.
Gay Politician 1: Maybe later we can go back to my place and I can take your census.
Gay Politician 2: Only if you'll filibuster.
Gay Politician 1: Reapportion me, baby
Gay Politician 2: Oh I'll do it, you carpetbagger.
Gay Politician 1: Porkbarrel me!
Gay Politician 1: There's some logrolling going on... IN MY PANTS.
Gay Politician 2: You want PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION?
Gay Politician 1: I think I have a majority of your ass.
Gay Politician 2: Oh man, I think I just lost my seat.
Gay Politician 1: I'm about to incumbent!
Gay Politician 2: Errg. Oh YEAH! This session of congress is now over.
Gay Politician 1: Care to adjourn, then?
Gay Politician 2: I just did.
Gay Politician 1: Can we call a special session?
Gay Politician 2: As long as you give me your soft money.
by Mark H August 17, 2004
Get the logrollingmug. A threesome in which a white woman is getting simultaneously screwed in her pussy and indabutt by two black men.
See also oreo'd.
See also oreo'd.
After helping their university win the basketball game, Terrell and Jaquan made off with a very hot white blonde cheerleader bitch from the losing university's team, took her into the men's locker room, and made an oreo cookie out of her.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 30, 2005
Get the oreo cookiemug. A commonly-used idiom. When someone is "all bark and no bite," it means that he or she is either:
1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.
OR
2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.
This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.
1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.
OR
2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.
This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.
In the projects, Jamal (who is short, skinny and kinda smart) is having a confrontation with Tyrone (who is a large and obese niggapotamus and a bit dumb as well) over a bag of crack rock and a cheap (but VERY attractive) prostitute.
Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.
Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.
by Mark H October 27, 2004
Get the all bark and no bitemug.