mark h's definitions

can't hit the broad side of a barn

To have very poor aim. This hyperbolic term is usually used to denote poor marksmanship or to have very poor aim in certain activities that involve throwing something(such as certain sports).

1. While we were out hunting, Mitch was a very poor shot and couldn't even hit the broad side of a barn, and so when he ran out of ammo, he ultimately got Roy Horn'ed by the deer he kept trying to shoot dead.

2. Damn, Mark is such a mark-ass pitcher! He can't even hit the broad side of a barn, let alone strike anyone out. His pitches make even Rafael Palmeiro's erectile dysfunction reach out for a glorious grand slam!





Mark H. On Urban Dictionary since February 2004.

by Mark H March 1, 2005

heaved hoe

A hoe that spends all day lying naked on her bed(or some other soft surface) masturbating and looking all used up, because of all the nymphomania she has gotten from fucking countless men throughout most of her life as a young woman.

The term "heaved" means fucked once so many times to the point of extensive use and has absolutely nothing to do with the phrase "heave ho," which sailors use as a command for pulling something, such as a rope, cable, or fishing net.

Daaaayum, won't dat bitch get up, stop jillin off and do sumthin' productive? Fo sheezy, someone call a doctor to get dat heaved hoe on rehab!

by Mark H August 31, 2004

fart-job

A gay sex act in which a man with a gas problem(who farts alot) is being screwed in the ass by his partner and then gives sexual stimulation by farting into his partner's penis.

It's kinda like giving a blowjob, but through your ass instead of through your mouth. So that's why it's called a "fart-job!"

Steve(fucking his partner Jon in the ass): Hey Jon, do you have one coming already?

Jon: Yes! Yes, here comes a BIG one!

*Jon lets out a rather long-lasting, noisy, and pungent-smelling fart*

Steve: Aaaaaahhh! That felt so good!

by Mark H August 4, 2004

horizontal exclamation mark

Yet another witty slang term referring to an erect penis(stiffy; woodie; hard-on; boner).

Damn, Mark was so fixated on the hot stripper at the club that he didn't notice that his barn door was open, and his 7-inch long horizontal exclamation mark was sticking out in front of the whole world!





Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Author since February 2004.

by Mark H July 9, 2005

Orangutan salad

A gorilla salad is a very thick and hairy brunette pubic area.

On the other hand, an orangutan salad is a more appropriate word for a very thick and hairy redhead pubic area(also known as a firecrotch).

While vacationing in Ireland, I made a fast and beautiful relationship with a sexy redheaded vixen. That is, until when I was going to chuck it in her I became very nervous about it when she showed me her scary-looking orangutan salad.





Mark H. Urban Addict since February 2004.

by Mark H December 3, 2004

Dark Angel

An exceptionally badass 80's thrash metal band from Los Angeles, California. Their music is just as heavy, if not, HEAVIER, meaner, and more intense than Slayer's music. Dynamic riffage, very fast and brutal drumming from Gene Hoglan(now playing drums for Strapping Young Lad, and pretty damn evil lyrics as well.

You just have to listen to their best album "Darkness Descends" to believe me. It absolutely owns the shit out of Slayer's "Reign in Blood."





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.

by Mark H April 30, 2005

weegee board

An ouija board. The game played on it is a fortune-telling game that is thought to bring demonic possesion down on certain people who play it.

Ouija player 1: Aww shit, dis weegee board be givin me the creeps, yo.
Ouija player 2: F-fff-fo shizzz-le mah nizz-zz-le. *shivers*
Ouija player 3: Y'all quit being pussies and move tha damn thing!

by Mark H June 17, 2004