magickdio's definitions

Fuzzles

Balls that are so hairy that they're actually cute, like a pair of adorable little pets. You know you've got fuzzles if your sexual partner has neglected to put their mouth anywhere near them, but doesn't object to grooming them.

"Awwww, bless your fuzzles!"

"Dave's got fuzzles, they're so soft"

by MagickDio February 6, 2010

McEnrage

A serious outburst of unexpected and completely over the top rage. This style of hissy fit was made famous by former No. 1 ranking professional tennis player, John McEnroe, hence the name. To qualify as an episode of McEnrage, it has to happen in public, with witnesses. (That is not to say that Mr McEnroe did not throw his toys out of the pram in private, simply that we do not know if this is the case.) McEnrage can be a classic, all out, red in the face, foaming at the mouth screech fest, or it can be a much less dramatic thing, but with the inclusion of the phrase, "You cannot be SERIOUS!!"

"Why is Jez outside, chain smoking and pacing?"
"Oh my God, you totally missed it! Dude, it was insane. We got to the window and the woman said they were sold out. Instead of getting tickets to the next showing like the rest of us, he just flipped! Started screaming "You cannot be SERIOUS!!" and smacking his hands against that plastic window, swearing and demanding that he be found a seat immediately. That's his spit they're cleaning off the window now!"
"Jesus, proper McEnrage then!"
"Yeah. Fucking Jez, I don't reckon we'll ever be allowed back here now."

by MagickDio October 11, 2012

Spandle

Verb- When someone manhandles your possessions in a spasticated manner, causing them to cease functioning correctly or wrecking them altogther.

For example, if someone were to pick up your new iphone, press a few things in an ill educated manner and return it, only for you to find later that you can no longer call anywhere except Greece, they will have seriously spandled it.

You're not touching it, you spandle everything.

by MagickDio June 21, 2011

Hit The High "C"

To Hit the high "C" is to make the high pitched noise emitted by a man who has just been injured in the genital area. It's a note easily achieved by choir boys and opera singers, but most men will only ever manage to attain such highs when they've sustained a blow to the bollocks.

To induce this noise in a gentleman, use reasonable force when striking the area. Note- REASONABLE force. Excessive force will result in no sound, as the note emitted will be too high for even dogs to hear, or he'll be unconscious, which is no fun for anyone.

"I accidentally elbowed Finn when I went to grab my handbag off the floor. He really hit the high "c", it was hard not to laugh"

"Ferdinand with a very good interception cleanly takes the ball away from Cissé. Now Gerrard comes dancing in like a fairy and oh! It's a kick to the balls from Ferdinand! And there's Gerrard, on his knees, having just hit the high "c""

by MagickDio March 3, 2010

Cunnilingerer

Someone who licks pussy like it's the only thing they want to do. A cunnilingerer will not move away the second the orgasm has subsided, but will slowly start working up to a second one like the legend that they are. It's not a duty to these guys, it's a delicious, slippery privilege and they make that only too clear.

Guys- if you're not one of these tongue genuises, then become one. The world would be a much nicer place if we abolished fellate hate and made every guy a cunnilingerer.

"I had such a good time with that random other I took home on Friday. He was a cunnilingerer- I almost regret not getting his name and number"

by MagickDio April 23, 2010

Fuck Nemesis

Like a fuck buddy except this person isn't your buddy in any way shape or form. You have nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust for each other as people. Yet you call them or receive a text from them every time you're lonely or they're horny and you get it on. There will be no talking, except to trade insults. You will have no need to discuss "keeping this a secret" as you're both too ashamed to reveal this to anyone.

Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.

"Dear Diary,

I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."

"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"

by MagickDio February 18, 2010

Crazy Time

There comes a point in an argument where your opponent runs out of logical material to use against you, yet refuses to conceed. This is the moment you enter Crazy Time. Men will recognise it as the part where women start yelling, through furious tears, about things that happened years previously, and putting a whole new spin on them, then telling the man exactly what he meant by what he said. Except it's rarely anything anyone would ever mean, or even think. Women will know it's Crazy Time when men start saying things like "I'm ending this argument right now!" and then continue bellowing about how it cannot be allowed to go on, and arguing over why it needs to be finished. Men can never finish an argument. They can only halt it "for now". The very same argument will be referenced and recommenced during the next period of Crazy Time.

Jennifer started to cry and shout at the same time, virtually incomprehensible wails about how last year, Doug HAD given her a funny look when she said hello to her ex, and that he had basically called her a whore when he commented on how nice it was that they were on speaking terms after all these years. It wasn't what he said, you understand, it was what he MEANT that made all the difference, and THAT is how Doug knew that they were in Crazy Time, yet again.

by MagickDio September 14, 2010