95 definitions by magickdio

To verbally bash a person you hate, to their face. Comes from merging the words "Loathe" and "Roasting" together. Whilst anyone can "roast" a celebrity or even a friend behind their backs, only someone who truly hates you can give you a loasting and still somehow come out looking like the good guy. A loasting does not merely take you down a peg or two. It is as if someone has taken away your shield and pissed in your face. In public. And everyone will believe, due to the righteous anger with which the loasting is delivered, that you deserve it.

We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.
Lesha vowed never ever to go to Tesco in the village ever again, for fear of the loasting she would inevitably receive, should she cross paths with Dee.
by magickdio October 27, 2011
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A magical being, of which there are thousands. They fly around and use their powers to make unlikely sex situations happen. It's up for debate as to whether or not these creatures work for the greater good. For example, sex faries will have made it possible for the school geek to sleep with the school stud. Excellent for the reputation of the geek, but total social disaster for the stud.

Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
-"Hey Steve, I hear you slept with Tina. What possessed you?"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"

-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
by magickdio February 24, 2010
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Like a fuck buddy except this person isn't your buddy in any way shape or form. You have nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust for each other as people. Yet you call them or receive a text from them every time you're lonely or they're horny and you get it on. There will be no talking, except to trade insults. You will have no need to discuss "keeping this a secret" as you're both too ashamed to reveal this to anyone.

Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
"Dear Diary,

I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."

"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
by magickdio February 18, 2010
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What ungroomed ladies and gentleman have going on in their pants. Pubic 'fro. It is an outdated practice that people look back on with some embarrasment that they ever conducted themselves in such a fashion. The only people that enjoy Disco Fever are people that have never experienced a smoother style, or people that can't let go of the hairy, disgusting past.
So, I undressed her and it was like, Boom!! Welcome to the 70's! Disco fever going on in Gem's pants!
by magickdio September 14, 2010
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1) Putting a large amount of effort into doing something badly. More often than not, unintentionally. People that are doing the fuck jobs rarely see their utter abortions as anything except works of art.

2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.
1) The men watched, transfixed. Even after their handy hints, Sheila continued fuckjobbing the Creosote and gazing appreciatively at the terrible mess.

2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.
by magickdio July 4, 2011
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When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"

Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
"What's the matter?"
"Don't worry, it's just winter tears"
by magickdio September 22, 2011
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Used to describe the behaviour of a guy that is heterosexual but for some reason, is acting gayer than a sailor in hotpants. Sometimes this is down to an unfortunate, yet entertaining personality trait. Other times it's totally random. Some fine examples of this behaviour are seen in guys that check themselves out in shop windows, guys that snatch up a copy of "Heat" and stare at the front page in clear disbelief, guys that say "Oh. My. GOD!!!", and guys that wave with all their fingers waggling like incy wincy spider.
-"Did you see that Beyoncé lost 12 pounds on a maple syrup diet? It's right here, look at this copy of Heat! Oh. My. GOD!!"

-"Dude, you're on the wrong side! We're here to buy porn!"

~ "Look at John, waving like a teenage harlot. He's on the wrong side today, that's for sure"
by magickdio March 2, 2010
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