Definitions by magickdio
Religious Tea
Has been made since the dawn of time. The method is unchanged, and widespread, from Catholics to Muslims. Every holy meeting will serve this drink.
You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"
Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"
Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.
Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.
Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket
You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"
Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"
Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.
Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.
Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket
Religious Tea by MagickDio March 17, 2010
McWedding
An extremely low budget affair that strives unsuccessfully to look classier than it is. Most do stop short of actually holding their wedding reception in MacDonalds, but if you've ever attended a reception similar to the one about to be described, rest assured, you have attended a "McWedding"
The bride and groom are both dressed in suits or in wedding clothes that were made around 25 years ago. The reception is held in a pub function room or community hall (not bad in itself) and is decorated with a few mismatched balloons, streamers, party poppers, paper tablecloths and weird papery swans and bells (very very bad). The food was clearly made by a team of aging female relatives with no concept of hygiene, and consists of rapidly drying tuna, ham and cheese sandwiches, copious amounts of cheese and pineapple on sticks, lots of quiche and breadsticks and platters of chicken nuggets. Confetti is all around every dish to make it look as if it's of higher quality. There is a DJ with about 3 lights and just as many CD's. There is no open bar. Children run about, fighting and crying because they're so bored. Adults run about, fighting and crying and drinking because they're so bored.
The bride and groom are both dressed in suits or in wedding clothes that were made around 25 years ago. The reception is held in a pub function room or community hall (not bad in itself) and is decorated with a few mismatched balloons, streamers, party poppers, paper tablecloths and weird papery swans and bells (very very bad). The food was clearly made by a team of aging female relatives with no concept of hygiene, and consists of rapidly drying tuna, ham and cheese sandwiches, copious amounts of cheese and pineapple on sticks, lots of quiche and breadsticks and platters of chicken nuggets. Confetti is all around every dish to make it look as if it's of higher quality. There is a DJ with about 3 lights and just as many CD's. There is no open bar. Children run about, fighting and crying because they're so bored. Adults run about, fighting and crying and drinking because they're so bored.
"I've still got food poisoning and a black eye from Pete and Sal's McWedding at the weekend. Shittest thing I've ever been to."
Headline Grabber
A headline grabber is a person who is a HUGE attention seeker. If they are in some kind of trouble, ill, had an argument, or are bored, you'll know about it. And so will everyone else. People that can be legitimately titled "Headline Grabber" are;
1) Those that cut themselves and make sure everyone sees the wounds as they stare melodramatically into the distance
2)Those that think they "might be pregnant" all the time
3) Anyone who goes out wearing PVC trousers or a string vest
4)People who have got "such a headache" every time you speak to them, and the "stupid doctors" can't work it out
5)People who "just can't talk about it- no, don't make me! I can't tell you, it's too horrible"
6) Girls that tell their male friends that their boyfriend is a bastard, and then get them to start on him- only to declare undying love for him a few moments after the drama has subsided
1) Those that cut themselves and make sure everyone sees the wounds as they stare melodramatically into the distance
2)Those that think they "might be pregnant" all the time
3) Anyone who goes out wearing PVC trousers or a string vest
4)People who have got "such a headache" every time you speak to them, and the "stupid doctors" can't work it out
5)People who "just can't talk about it- no, don't make me! I can't tell you, it's too horrible"
6) Girls that tell their male friends that their boyfriend is a bastard, and then get them to start on him- only to declare undying love for him a few moments after the drama has subsided
"Ignore Shaz in her stupid PVC trousers and string vest. She thinks she's pregnant again. Fucking headline grabber"
"Look at those emo kids with their trendy arm slashes. Headline grabbers; let's hiss at them!"
"Look at those emo kids with their trendy arm slashes. Headline grabbers; let's hiss at them!"
Headline Grabber by MagickDio March 15, 2010
Litchrilly
A butchered, retarded version of the word "literally". Used by skanky teens and total fuckwits. It is usually placed in a sentence before something that didn't or wouldn't happen, owing to the fact that the speakers do not understand the english language, and have no comprehension of what the word "literally" means.
Listen to teenage girls try to out-cool each other on a bus, and you'll hear the word at least 50 times.
Listen to teenage girls try to out-cool each other on a bus, and you'll hear the word at least 50 times.
"I was so annoyed, I litchrilly exploded"
"If i find out it's true I will litchrilly kill them"
"His cock was litchrilly as big as a horses"
"Oh my god, I will litchrilly DIE if he asks me out!"
"If i find out it's true I will litchrilly kill them"
"His cock was litchrilly as big as a horses"
"Oh my god, I will litchrilly DIE if he asks me out!"
Litchrilly by MagickDio March 14, 2010
Raisin Factory
An old people's home. So named because they go in all healthy and plump, and come out all dried and shrivelled, in a box.
"Mum and Dad sent Nana off to the raisin factory. It's called a Retirement Village. It's where you retire from having a life"
Raisin Factory by MagickDio March 14, 2010
Turnt Round
What idiots say when relaying a conversation they had. No matter who they were speaking to or where they where at the time, you will always find that they and the other conversational counterpart managed to turn around constantly. The idiot will claim that they "turnt round" to deliver a comment or action, and that the other person "turnt round" in order to respond, thus giving the impression that they spent the whole time twirling about.
"So, what happened?"
"Well, he turnt round and said that it couldn't be his cos he pulled out, so I turnt round and told him that he was a knob. I thought he was gonna shut up til he turnt round and called me a slag. So I turnt round and slapped him one and he turnt round looking well embarrassed!"
"Well, he turnt round and said that it couldn't be his cos he pulled out, so I turnt round and told him that he was a knob. I thought he was gonna shut up til he turnt round and called me a slag. So I turnt round and slapped him one and he turnt round looking well embarrassed!"
Turnt Round by MagickDio March 11, 2010
Wrands
When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"