1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Get the Boysturiser mug.A mistake made which results in something potentially dying. It's a pretty gosh darned awful mistake if that something turns out to be you. There are two deadly mistakes which are incredibly common;
1) A woman, in the midst of her mental cycle is being somewhat emotionally unstable, and a man utters these words....."what's your problem?!" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! The obvious answer to the question will be that HE is the problem, and if he escapes with his life, all happiness will most certainly be killed for him for the next 3-5 days.
2) When getting down to some serious foreplay, the woman turns to the man and utters these words..."do I look fat?" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! There is no "safe" way for a man to answer that question! If he looks, he's judging- if he doesn't look, he's not taking the question seriously- if he says yes, she cries- if he says no, she says he's lying.... Apart from that question being the one that probably makes men want to strangle women, asking it will kill desire stone cold fucking dead. Not to mention that a "yes" response might result in someone finding the guy the next morning with his head torn off.
1) A woman, in the midst of her mental cycle is being somewhat emotionally unstable, and a man utters these words....."what's your problem?!" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! The obvious answer to the question will be that HE is the problem, and if he escapes with his life, all happiness will most certainly be killed for him for the next 3-5 days.
2) When getting down to some serious foreplay, the woman turns to the man and utters these words..."do I look fat?" DEADLY MISTAKE!!! There is no "safe" way for a man to answer that question! If he looks, he's judging- if he doesn't look, he's not taking the question seriously- if he says yes, she cries- if he says no, she says he's lying.... Apart from that question being the one that probably makes men want to strangle women, asking it will kill desire stone cold fucking dead. Not to mention that a "yes" response might result in someone finding the guy the next morning with his head torn off.
"She was just nagging and whining and bitching, so I asked her what her problem was!"
"Ahh, that explains the bruises. Deadly mistake, mate."
"She asked me if she looked fat, right when I was about to take her from behind!"
"Gaaah! Deadly mistake! I bet that killed it!"
"Too fucking right, I was too stressed even to wank, and she just led there muttering and texting about what a cold hearted tosser I am"
"Ahh, that explains the bruises. Deadly mistake, mate."
"She asked me if she looked fat, right when I was about to take her from behind!"
"Gaaah! Deadly mistake! I bet that killed it!"
"Too fucking right, I was too stressed even to wank, and she just led there muttering and texting about what a cold hearted tosser I am"
by MagickDio April 01, 2010
Get the Deadly Mistake mug.1) Discarded, half eaten kebabs that are strewn through the streets near bars after 2am at weekends.
2) Oral sex performed on someone in a park/carpark/shop doorway. A person does not necessarily have to be a tramp to perform or receive Tramp Nosh but it is reasonable to assume that at least one participant may be, due to the scabby choice of location.
2) Oral sex performed on someone in a park/carpark/shop doorway. A person does not necessarily have to be a tramp to perform or receive Tramp Nosh but it is reasonable to assume that at least one participant may be, due to the scabby choice of location.
1) "I can't eat this doner, I'm gonna puke. Do you want it?"
"Nah, throw it down, man. Let it become tramp nosh."
2) Claire regretted her choice to remain sober and be the designated driver as soon as she approached her car and noticed, all too clearly, the gentleman reclining against it, recieving an enthusiastic tramp nosh from a woman in pink pvc and hair glitter.
"Nah, throw it down, man. Let it become tramp nosh."
2) Claire regretted her choice to remain sober and be the designated driver as soon as she approached her car and noticed, all too clearly, the gentleman reclining against it, recieving an enthusiastic tramp nosh from a woman in pink pvc and hair glitter.
by MagickDio July 08, 2011
Get the Tramp Nosh mug.1) A sarcastic term used to describe something or someone that others clearly thinks is great, but is actually fairly sub standard. (Not unlike a lot of jazz)
2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
1) "I got a new puppy!"
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"
2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"
2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
Get the Big Jazz mug.When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"
Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
Get the Winter Tears mug.To verbally bash a person you hate, to their face. Comes from merging the words "Loathe" and "Roasting" together. Whilst anyone can "roast" a celebrity or even a friend behind their backs, only someone who truly hates you can give you a loasting and still somehow come out looking like the good guy. A loasting does not merely take you down a peg or two. It is as if someone has taken away your shield and pissed in your face. In public. And everyone will believe, due to the righteous anger with which the loasting is delivered, that you deserve it.
We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.
We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.
Lesha vowed never ever to go to Tesco in the village ever again, for fear of the loasting she would inevitably receive, should she cross paths with Dee.
by MagickDio October 27, 2011
Get the Loasting mug."I've been wanting to fuck him for months. I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known it was gonna be a bloody quick- fire round"
"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"
"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"
"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
by MagickDio February 04, 2010
Get the quick-fire round mug.