9 definitions by leftiger
A mistaken assumption that you know what a person was going to say next thus hearing exactly what you wanted to hear when they do say something.
Psych on phone with Patient: 'Oh, so you're hearing voices right now!'
Pat: 'No you idiot, I said I have another phone call I have to take.'
Psych: 'Oh! My listake!'
Pat: 'Listake? WTF does that mean? That's not a word.'
Psych: 'Oh, I had just expected you to start hearing voices already. My listake.'
Pat: 'Are you saying 'mistake' or 'listake'?'
Psych: 'Which one did you *want* me to say?'
Pat: '...'
Pat: 'No you idiot, I said I have another phone call I have to take.'
Psych: 'Oh! My listake!'
Pat: 'Listake? WTF does that mean? That's not a word.'
Psych: 'Oh, I had just expected you to start hearing voices already. My listake.'
Pat: 'Are you saying 'mistake' or 'listake'?'
Psych: 'Which one did you *want* me to say?'
Pat: '...'
by leftiger March 17, 2019
Text in a sensitive document which has been censored by covering it with black ink to make it illegible.
"Hold that $50,000 travel expense check up to the light and make sure you can't see 'Hookers and Blow' in the memo through the redacto."
by leftiger March 12, 2019
Any Node System whether biological or not (Nations, the Internet, your family) which experiences intermittent communication failures for no apparent reason which usually results in some stack overflowing (diplomacy leading to war, some random git push faceplanting Facebook, Day-after-Thanksgiving-Breakfast-When-Even-The-Cat-Is-Hungover-and-Sis-Slips-And-Drops-A-Whole-Stack-Of-Pancakes-Right-Into-The-Trash-And-Everyone-Says-Aww-But-No-One-Really-Wants-To-Say-It-Sucks-This-Is-The-Only-Way-To-Get-Through-A-#MFing-Holiday-But-There-You-Go-At-Least-We-Arent-The-Crackheads-Next-Door-Nice-Enough-People-But-They-Tend-To-Follow-You-Around-But-I-Digress-Oh-Right-I-Think-I-Made-My-Point-About-How-Everyones-Family-Is-Crazy-I-Just-Made-That-Example-Up-But-Some-Of-You-Were-Like-Well-Yeah) somewhere.
Damn, wasn't the definition enough? Fine, the word is 'Disconnxy' give me this one y'all on effort alone?
by leftiger March 14, 2019
Alternate spelling of 'video'. Actually a typo, but one made so commonly that by entering here in UD we can all pretend we meant to type it that way. If you really want to stick to your guns, you will need to find a way to say it aloud as 'vy-eh-do' to prove that you are not an idiot who insists on false being true, but instead are an idiot who would say 'vy-eh-do' out loud, and then have to defend your pronunciation when your equally idiot friends make fun of you yet again by saying it's pronounced 'vee-aye-do' with an emphasis on the second syllable, whereas you put emphasis on the first. It's OK though, we still love you. Even if you're an idiot among idiots for not just backspacing or saying 'my bad'.
I like cat viedo, especially the one where the kitten with the lime on his head is saying 'can i has steak'
by leftiger March 18, 2019
Run To Failure. The act of continuing to use aged and undermaintained equipment in an effort to take advantage of business accounting tax laws regarding depreciation of equipment, which then allow degrading systems to 'Deepwater Horizon' or 'West Pharmaceutical Services Dust Explosion' themselves with corporate assistance often causing death, injury, and catastrophic economic and environmental consequences causing cascading drops in relevant markets with perhaps privately predictable results (depending on the accuracy of things like MTBF of points of ciritical failure).
"Why are they RTFing the main production line already? We can't even get new bearings for the high-speeds! There's still millions in the burn pool, We're on trajectory! It makes no sense"
"Oh, rumor has it they 'owe themselves money' from their other 'interests' so they're going to do a dip-and-flip and rename us. That's why the crane is parked out there at $40K a day not doing anything. They SNAFUd the announcement and now all 20 letters of their new sign are spread out along the Jersey Turnpike like the Hulk got mad at the Hollywood sign."
"Oh. But won't those bearings fail.. right after the 'takeover' and then..."
"Long vacation around that so we miss it when it happens?"
"MTBF on that bearing set?"
"June? Vacation in Maui?"
"Guess so. Won't want to be here."
"Hope they got double-indemnity."
"Oh, rumor has it they 'owe themselves money' from their other 'interests' so they're going to do a dip-and-flip and rename us. That's why the crane is parked out there at $40K a day not doing anything. They SNAFUd the announcement and now all 20 letters of their new sign are spread out along the Jersey Turnpike like the Hulk got mad at the Hollywood sign."
"Oh. But won't those bearings fail.. right after the 'takeover' and then..."
"Long vacation around that so we miss it when it happens?"
"MTBF on that bearing set?"
"June? Vacation in Maui?"
"Guess so. Won't want to be here."
"Hope they got double-indemnity."
by leftiger March 18, 2019
A comparison you have made, usually followed by a variation of the word 'whatever' when you do not recall what the name of the literary device(s) you just used are.
Something said maybe not literally(1), maybe literally(2) which is literally(1(as references literally(2))) just as important when you want to make an important point. At this point, who cares whether it was a metaphor or a simile? What are you, a grammar troll? Let it go. Come out from under the bridge and stop correcting people all the time. There you go. Stand up straight and stretch until you can feel your lower back arch a little and a big percent of that stress goes *ahhhhh*. Like that. A 'metasimile' for 'Keep it Player' which some white guy may have mis-heard when someone said 'Keep it, Player' as someone tried to hand them something they didn't want to be in possesion of, whhich was why they accompanied the phrase with an gently upraised, palm-first 'no thank you' gesture.
Caution: metasimiles are prone to endless recursion which may provoke stack or heap overflow.
A metasimile is constrained in that it must always be an antisolecism, except as used in the example sentence.
Something said maybe not literally(1), maybe literally(2) which is literally(1(as references literally(2))) just as important when you want to make an important point. At this point, who cares whether it was a metaphor or a simile? What are you, a grammar troll? Let it go. Come out from under the bridge and stop correcting people all the time. There you go. Stand up straight and stretch until you can feel your lower back arch a little and a big percent of that stress goes *ahhhhh*. Like that. A 'metasimile' for 'Keep it Player' which some white guy may have mis-heard when someone said 'Keep it, Player' as someone tried to hand them something they didn't want to be in possesion of, whhich was why they accompanied the phrase with an gently upraised, palm-first 'no thank you' gesture.
Caution: metasimiles are prone to endless recursion which may provoke stack or heap overflow.
A metasimile is constrained in that it must always be an antisolecism, except as used in the example sentence.
"A metasimile should never be a solecism, unless you are Conan O'Brien."
Honestly? After that definition? me-ta-sim-i-le not meta-simile would be the most cross-domain way of saying 'metasimile' but you can pronounce it however you want. It's like 'SQL' that way, in that normally efficient people insist on not saying just 'See-kweel' like a normal person would after saying it more than 3 times, but instead say 'Ess Kwyoo(?) Ell' for decades? That was just a metasimile, or something.
Honestly? After that definition? me-ta-sim-i-le not meta-simile would be the most cross-domain way of saying 'metasimile' but you can pronounce it however you want. It's like 'SQL' that way, in that normally efficient people insist on not saying just 'See-kweel' like a normal person would after saying it more than 3 times, but instead say 'Ess Kwyoo(?) Ell' for decades? That was just a metasimile, or something.
by leftiger March 17, 2019