When you have to sign off on something but the recipientactually needs to hear 'suck a bag of dick' or 'Go fuck yourself'
Dear Cst,
I'm so sorry that when you were so busy getting high on yourself and showing your powerful ability to have a complete lack of regard for human life, you bumped yourself on my elbow while you were throwing me around. In the future, instead of assaulting you with the sheer fact that my body even exists, I will hide in the bushes and try not to breath instead of asking for help.