[e-mail]'s definitions

Home Improvment

One of the funniest and most clever 1990s sitcoms airing on ABC. The show centered around the stand up acts of comedian, Tim Allen. His character, Tim Taylor hosts a Detroit cable tool show called Tool Time. He is very masculine and interested in all aspects of the male mind: he is always building a hotrod in the garage, is sexist, HATES the opera, grunts, loves tools, loves sports and loves building things. He is however blessed with ineptitude. His ineptitude includes anything from glueing his head to a table to falling through a roof or a portapotty to dropping a two-ton beam on his wife's car. Home Improvement had a cleverly-written script and writers. It won a number of Emmys.

Home Improvment was a great show. Gags from the show:
1. the neighbor, Wilson's face NEVER being seen
2. everybody screws up Wilson's advice.
3. Tim's wife Jill cant cook.
4. Tim is always building a hotrod in the garage.
5. Tim's cohost, Al has an obsession with flannel.
6. Tim is always making fun of Al, his mother-in-law and basically anything he doesnt understand
7. Wilson's amazing knowledge of culture and history.

by [e-mail] October 15, 2007

Scottsdale

A city of superficial attitudes, inflated egos and very narrow minds. The pursuit of materialism, excess, and keeping up with the Jones, is the rule in this Phoenix suburb of 250,000 residents, where people brag about the money they have and show off their car to gain recognition. They think money and materialism, instead of people and experiences, are the most important things in life. It’s a place where people often ignore you if--God forbid--you look only average. You get weird looks from people at the Scottsdale Fashion Square if you are not wearing the latest trendy wardrobe. Known to many locals as Snobbsdale or Snottsdale, its swankiness makes it home to many of the Phoenix area’s most trendy establishments: Nordstrom, Barney’s New York, Gucci and Kenneth Cole. And only in Scottsdale can you find restaurants that serve $70 steaks. Although most Scottsdale people wont admit it, many are probably on the verge of foreclosure, due to excessive credit card debt and ridiculous spending that will soon turn them poor like the rest of us. Gosh, then they wont be able to frequent their numerous golf courses, country clubs and resorts. What’s a rich person gotta do?

Scottsdale thinks its so rich, but is actually only upper middle-class. Heck, it isnt even the richest city in Arizona or Maricopa County. So I have no idea why the people seem so snooty. Despite its perceived affluence, there is probably more loneliness and misery per-capita in Scottsdale than anywhere else.

Scottsdale is named after James Edward Scott and is also nicknamed the West's Most Western Town.

by [e-mail] November 20, 2009

Target

The place people will easily go to avoid Walmart. A major retailer headquartered in Minnesota and known for its high quality products unlike Walmart or Kmart, but treat their hourly employees like yesterday’s garbage. Their stores are cleaner, the employees seem at least half decent and many of their products are made in the U.S., unlike Walmart where they are made in Communist China.

The bad outweighs the good, however. The employees are paid minmum wage and treated like second class citizens. Employees are brainwashed into using cutsie names for customers i.e. “guests” and coworkers "team members" and trained into asking any guest, “Can I help you find something?” What crap. NOTE TO MANAGEMENT: YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY HAD YOUR MAID DO YOUR SHOPPING FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE CUSTOMER BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO BE BOTHERED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY KNOW THE EMPLOYEE YOU HIRED AND 'TRAINED' IS BEING FORCED TO ASK THE QUESTION WITH A FAKE SMILE ON THEIR FACE. YOU SUCK. GO GET A A COLLEGE DEGREE TO GET REAL KNOWLEDGE AND REAL SKILLS TO GET A REAL CAREER AND YOU WILL LEARN WHAT REAL BUSINESS IS. HOW YOU TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES AFFECTS HOW THEY TREAT YOUR SO-CALLED ‘GUESTS.’ Management treats their lower paid employees like slaves and expendable goods. Working overtime is discouraged (as if employees don’t have bills to pay) and not asking a “guest” for assistance results in being written-up and reprimanded like you are a kid. Target is one of those companies where its overpaid fatcats have not yet caught on that the treatment of their employees will have an effect on how they treat the “guests.” It’s simple economics, and I’m not even an Econ major and know that. The funniest thing about this out-of-touch corporation is that it hires 6-feet, 200 pound security guards. For what? Are they actually afraid someone will walk off with a $2 bottle of shampoo? Target management and its corporate bigwigs need to get over themselves, because it’s not like they have job skills that would require getting a real career.

Target management sucks, just like evry other company out there.

by [e-mail] January 11, 2008

metrosexual

An insecure "pretty boy" who is trying his dambdest to prove his masculinity even though he loves shopping, is trendy, ALWAYS concerned with his appearance, especially his hair and knows more about women than most gay guys. Some may believe a metrosexual is a homsosexual passing himself off as straight or is on the verge of homosexuality.

A metrosexual, in my opinion, lacks masculinity and needs a hormone shot. He may claim he is straight for the time being but, in reality, is probably on the verge of coming out of the closet.

by [e-mail] March 16, 2008

American Airlines

One of America's "legacy carriers" and the largest airline in the world by passenger-revenue-miles. Headquartered in Forth Worth, Texas. CEO is Gerald Arpey. Has hubs in Dallas-Ft. Worth, Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, New York and Boston.

American Airlines: something special in the air. F-U.

by [e-mail] August 5, 2007

los angeles

La La land. Where reality is ignored and Holywood flaunts its socialist agenda.

los angeles is the most gang-infested city in the country

by [e-mail] March 24, 2007

whitetrash

A dysfunctional American subculture, primarily poor as heck white people who reproduce like rabbits without the money to raise kids in a decent environment. They are completely ignorant of birth control—even condoms and don’t give a dam about the welfare of children if they have them. Heck, they are ignorant, period, and don’t have much of an education. They probably live on GOV aid in the form of welfare or food stamps, and sometimes use the money to pay for alcohol, tobacco, drugs or just sleezy sex. If they don’t live on GOV aid, they probably work a minimum wage career that doesn’t require any skills like being a checkout clerk, a bagger in a store, collecting shopping carts or even a bar-bouncer if the guy is buff enough. Many live in trailerparks, but also in rundown apartments or government subsidized housing. They can frequently be seen shopping their favorite store—Walmart and most of the men won’t hesitate to wear their wifebeater shirt in the store without a second thought. They usually couldn’t care any less about hygene and it even shows on their children. They are often dirty and smelly, while the men with facial hair don’t shave making it look as though their beard/mustache has collected crumbs.

Whitetrash are about the only American commodity we will never run out of.

by [e-mail] March 17, 2008