kodiac1's definitions
American Jokes are jokes which are not made in America. Yet, these jokes can be made in America, but apart from America, they can also be made in China, Hong Kong SAR, Indonesia, Ethiopia, North Pole, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, the Sun...... wherever place you can think of which allow people to live. American Jokes are simply abbreviated as "AJ", which, obviously, comes from its original name American Joke.
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
Here are some practical daily examples of American Joke:
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the American Jokemug. Static Electricity was discovered in an incredibly large box by 4 Tax Collectors. So far, almost 3 applications have been found for it.
In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.
These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.
In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.
Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.
By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.
Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.
Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.
These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.
In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.
Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.
By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.
Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.
Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
by kodiac1 July 3, 2006
Get the Static electricitymug. Fictional rock is a genre of music invented by the Japanese played entirely with drums and is named after the fiction created by them.
Only four entities play fictional rock, the first is a Monkey and the other three are the members of the band The Three Steves. But don't tell Steve Ballmer we said that or he'll fucking kill us.
Only four entities play fictional rock, the first is a Monkey and the other three are the members of the band The Three Steves. But don't tell Steve Ballmer we said that or he'll fucking kill us.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Fictional rockmug. A butter knife is a knife made from butter. As knives go it's pretty good as long as you keep it very cold.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
How to make a butter knife:
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Butter knifemug. Warren Buffet, generally acknowledged as the second richest man in the United States Of America, (after Ryan Seacrest), is the inventor of the all-you-can-eat restaurant concept. Back in the old days--before 1942--this was unheard of, but Buffet perservered through thick and thin and perfected the idea. Today, many restaurants actually use his name when referring to their unlimited offerings.
Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.
a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.
His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.
The Discovery of All You Can Eat
In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.
To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.
Richest Man in the World
Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.
a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.
His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.
The Discovery of All You Can Eat
In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.
To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.
Richest Man in the World
Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Warren Buffetmug. It has been known that rogue states but also companies and universities put restrictions to the Internet usage. These restrictions are so aggressive and perverse that the Internet experience of the end-user is completely compromised.
WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.
WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.
There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.
WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.
WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.
WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.
There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.
WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.
by kodiac1 July 9, 2006
Get the WebSensemug. The gene that, when active within the human genome, causes an individual to exhibit the characteristic of blueness. This gene is known for its unique, maroon colour. Although some would figure this gene to be the colour blue, they are incorrectly thinking of jeans, which when placed in the human genome cause the individual to behave maroon.
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
The above is, of course, complete bullshit.
The gene is found in between the genes for Judaism and metrosexuality; an individual who possesses the dominant alelles of all three is called a "new blue jew".
Blue Gene is also the name of the computer that secretly rules over Canuckstan with an iron fist. Which is odd, because the computer fails to have an iron fist, but instead uses a more modern platnium fist. It will likely destroy us all.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Blue Genemug.