jazzriff's definitions
Technically: a religious concept of an immortal individual conciousness, the mind superimposed on an invisible and supposedly indestructible and universal substance called "spirit."
Colloquially: authenticity, style, or passion. Used almost exclusively in expressions similar to "he's got soul," often used to refer to individual (e.g. improvisational) expression in music styles such as jazz.
Also, a harmonically simple, often syncopated, style of music made by black people such as James Brown, usually played by small groups, though occasionally involving horn sections, related to funk and rock and always having vocals. This music is claimed to embody the above characteristic.
Colloquially: authenticity, style, or passion. Used almost exclusively in expressions similar to "he's got soul," often used to refer to individual (e.g. improvisational) expression in music styles such as jazz.
Also, a harmonically simple, often syncopated, style of music made by black people such as James Brown, usually played by small groups, though occasionally involving horn sections, related to funk and rock and always having vocals. This music is claimed to embody the above characteristic.
by jazzriff September 28, 2006
Get the soulmug. A term used to indicate extreme pleasure with something (it could be practically anything), to the point of that something inducing the grabbing of one's genital area in a reflexive attempt at masturbation. Not necessarily literal. The term was coined by television buffoon Homer Simpson.
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
Get the groin-grabbingly goodmug. In fundie folklore, the lib'ral is a legendary animal of unkown origin, with supernatural powers which it uses to exclusively evil ends. Many ancient anecdotes relate the power of the lib'ral to control the minds of others, and as the legends go, this power is mainly used to distort the media's depiction of reality. How this feat is achieved is not understood, as it has often been observed that media outlets are more often owned by Republicans. According to legend, the lib'ral often enjoys using its considerable powers for the following other dastardly deeds (this is not a complete list:
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
Pete: You seen that news report today on (insert channel here)?
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
by jazzriff October 16, 2005
Get the lib'ralsmug. Damage to the brain, usually defined by dead brain cells which would otherwise survive, is known to be caused by several things:
-fetal alcohol syndrome
-being constantly on speed for about 3 days
-large quantities of Ecstasy (a massive overdose)
-incompetently synthesized synthetic drugs
-being constantly drunk for about 3 days
-being hit on the head reeeal hard (see child abuse)
-being raised by fundies
Many people will claim that *any* mind-altering substance causes brain damage, but since this has never been scientifically demonstrated, these people are generally ignorant. See Church of Voodoo Pharmacology (assuming the editors have accepted it).
The general result is retardation, and it can cause the victim to join the fundies or other cults. It can also cause epilepsy, which can increase the ease of acceptance in a fundie cult because many of them view seizures as divine possession.
-fetal alcohol syndrome
-being constantly on speed for about 3 days
-large quantities of Ecstasy (a massive overdose)
-incompetently synthesized synthetic drugs
-being constantly drunk for about 3 days
-being hit on the head reeeal hard (see child abuse)
-being raised by fundies
Many people will claim that *any* mind-altering substance causes brain damage, but since this has never been scientifically demonstrated, these people are generally ignorant. See Church of Voodoo Pharmacology (assuming the editors have accepted it).
The general result is retardation, and it can cause the victim to join the fundies or other cults. It can also cause epilepsy, which can increase the ease of acceptance in a fundie cult because many of them view seizures as divine possession.
Popular exponents of brain damage include Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, George W. Bush, the KKK, and Ronald Reagan. The latter was so evil that his brain attempted suicide, causing Alzheimer's disease.
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
Get the brain damagemug. The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology is a popular and global cult which holds the paranoid belief that all scientific studies regarding illegal drugs are liberal conspiracies and thus completely false, and that all illegal drugs are without exception Satanic, immoral, life-ruining, addictive, and deadly. The actions of this cult are oriented towards demonizing and incarcerating all illegal drug users, and in some cases removing them from the earth in some type of Holocaust (see Rush Limbaugh). They strongly and unquestionably support the war on drugs. The official term for all those who disagree with them in any way is "pro-drug."
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
"Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men." (1929)
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Get the Church of Voodoo Pharmacologymug. Trolling is the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet, generally on message boards. When done in a moderated internet community, this can result in banning. When done to uptight people such as fundies, this can result in hilarity.
by jazzriff October 29, 2005
Get the trollingmug. Completely fictional creatures invented in the 1980's by the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology. The allegation was that crack cocaine smoked by pregnant women essentially caused fetal alcohol syndrome, when in fact (as many doctors have testified), the often-freakish babies born to crack addicts were the victims of serious malnutrition (as their mothers were often very poor and/or retarded) and of course fetal alcohol syndrome.
For absurd definitions see crack baby.
For absurd definitions see crack baby.
Interviewer: Tell us about the crack baby plague which is sweeping the nation.
Doctor: Actually, on examining these "crack babies," I find that their mothers were almost always alcholics and chain-smokers who were seriously malnourished during pregnancy. Any fetus would be extremely lucky to end up normal in that situation, with or without cocaine.
Interviewer: No, you're not getting the concept. We want to know about the *plague* of *crack babies*. If you won't cooperate we'll just interview someone else.
(true story, paraphrased)
Doctor: Actually, on examining these "crack babies," I find that their mothers were almost always alcholics and chain-smokers who were seriously malnourished during pregnancy. Any fetus would be extremely lucky to end up normal in that situation, with or without cocaine.
Interviewer: No, you're not getting the concept. We want to know about the *plague* of *crack babies*. If you won't cooperate we'll just interview someone else.
(true story, paraphrased)
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
Get the crack babiesmug.