19 definitions by jazzriff
"Goth" or "Gothic" refers to many things.
1) (Original meaning) The Goths were a tribe of what we would now call Germans, who, despite the Romans' constant efforts to steal their land, pwned Rome old-school back in the day; this led to the fall of the Roman empire. They were known for having beards, thus the term "barbarian" (as "barbarus" is Latin for beard). They were also known to be "uncivilized;" for example, they did not have walls, and had no significant military technology or battle strategy, yet often crushed the Romans with vicious charging attacks.
2)An angular and high-ceilinged style of architecture (known as "gothic") created during the Middle Ages which was derided as "gothic" in the sense of "barbaric" by pretentious Renaissance types who had bad taste in architecture. Most remaining gothic buildings are churches.
3)Goth is a subculture consisting of people known as "goths."
4)A Goth is a member of the above-mentioned subculture, who often (though not necessarily always) wears Goth clothing and may or may not listen to Goth music. Goths are generally atheists, often intellectual, and for the most part are not interested in mainstream music or mainstream values (such as materialism). Goth clothing is all generally black, but other than this Goth fashion varies. It generally does not include things such as t-shirts, sneakers or shorts, and can include any of the following:
-metal chains
-large black boots
-Victorian-style dresses (usually black)
-corsets
-black eye makeup
-leather
-studded or spiked belts
-various accesories involved in BDSM
-unusual hairstyles
5)Goth is a broad term for types of music, which though having no very specific definition (as practically no one calls their music "Goth music"), are generally rock which resembles metal (in both sound and instrumentation) and sometimes industrial rock (e.g. Nine Inch Nails). It tends to be dark both musically and thematically, particularly in relation to mainstream pop music. The main difference between Goth music and metal is that Goths listen to and play Goth music and metalheads listen to metal and often dislike Goths. Also, Goth music is less likely to have guitar solos and more likely to have female vocalists. Some music is however referred to as Goth metal, e.g. Lacuna Coil and Type O Negative.
Marilyn Manson's music can be referred to as Goth, but then, many people would consider that statement personally insulting. The band Evanescence is also sometimes called Goth, but many Goths also find this claim insulting due to a perceived similarity between and Evanescence and a nu-metal band called Linkin Park, whose music is complete shit.
6)"Goth" can be used as an insult by fools, much in the same way that punk is used by douches as an insult to people who openly call themselves punks.
1) (Original meaning) The Goths were a tribe of what we would now call Germans, who, despite the Romans' constant efforts to steal their land, pwned Rome old-school back in the day; this led to the fall of the Roman empire. They were known for having beards, thus the term "barbarian" (as "barbarus" is Latin for beard). They were also known to be "uncivilized;" for example, they did not have walls, and had no significant military technology or battle strategy, yet often crushed the Romans with vicious charging attacks.
2)An angular and high-ceilinged style of architecture (known as "gothic") created during the Middle Ages which was derided as "gothic" in the sense of "barbaric" by pretentious Renaissance types who had bad taste in architecture. Most remaining gothic buildings are churches.
3)Goth is a subculture consisting of people known as "goths."
4)A Goth is a member of the above-mentioned subculture, who often (though not necessarily always) wears Goth clothing and may or may not listen to Goth music. Goths are generally atheists, often intellectual, and for the most part are not interested in mainstream music or mainstream values (such as materialism). Goth clothing is all generally black, but other than this Goth fashion varies. It generally does not include things such as t-shirts, sneakers or shorts, and can include any of the following:
-metal chains
-large black boots
-Victorian-style dresses (usually black)
-corsets
-black eye makeup
-leather
-studded or spiked belts
-various accesories involved in BDSM
-unusual hairstyles
5)Goth is a broad term for types of music, which though having no very specific definition (as practically no one calls their music "Goth music"), are generally rock which resembles metal (in both sound and instrumentation) and sometimes industrial rock (e.g. Nine Inch Nails). It tends to be dark both musically and thematically, particularly in relation to mainstream pop music. The main difference between Goth music and metal is that Goths listen to and play Goth music and metalheads listen to metal and often dislike Goths. Also, Goth music is less likely to have guitar solos and more likely to have female vocalists. Some music is however referred to as Goth metal, e.g. Lacuna Coil and Type O Negative.
Marilyn Manson's music can be referred to as Goth, but then, many people would consider that statement personally insulting. The band Evanescence is also sometimes called Goth, but many Goths also find this claim insulting due to a perceived similarity between and Evanescence and a nu-metal band called Linkin Park, whose music is complete shit.
6)"Goth" can be used as an insult by fools, much in the same way that punk is used by douches as an insult to people who openly call themselves punks.
"Why would anyone love a punked-out Goth freak?" -Britney Spears, referring to Amy Lee of Evanescence
"That building is so flagrantly Gothic! Well, I never! Architecture has just gone downhill since the Romans, don't you agree, Jeeves?"
"That building is so flagrantly Gothic! Well, I never! Architecture has just gone downhill since the Romans, don't you agree, Jeeves?"
by jazzriff October 11, 2005
A term used to indicate extreme pleasure with something (it could be practically anything), to the point of that something inducing the grabbing of one's genital area in a reflexive attempt at masturbation. Not necessarily literal. The term was coined by television buffoon Homer Simpson.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Damage to the brain, usually defined by dead brain cells which would otherwise survive, is known to be caused by several things:
-fetal alcohol syndrome
-being constantly on speed for about 3 days
-large quantities of Ecstasy (a massive overdose)
-incompetently synthesized synthetic drugs
-being constantly drunk for about 3 days
-being hit on the head reeeal hard (see child abuse)
-being raised by fundies
Many people will claim that *any* mind-altering substance causes brain damage, but since this has never been scientifically demonstrated, these people are generally ignorant. See Church of Voodoo Pharmacology (assuming the editors have accepted it).
The general result is retardation, and it can cause the victim to join the fundies or other cults. It can also cause epilepsy, which can increase the ease of acceptance in a fundie cult because many of them view seizures as divine possession.
-fetal alcohol syndrome
-being constantly on speed for about 3 days
-large quantities of Ecstasy (a massive overdose)
-incompetently synthesized synthetic drugs
-being constantly drunk for about 3 days
-being hit on the head reeeal hard (see child abuse)
-being raised by fundies
Many people will claim that *any* mind-altering substance causes brain damage, but since this has never been scientifically demonstrated, these people are generally ignorant. See Church of Voodoo Pharmacology (assuming the editors have accepted it).
The general result is retardation, and it can cause the victim to join the fundies or other cults. It can also cause epilepsy, which can increase the ease of acceptance in a fundie cult because many of them view seizures as divine possession.
Popular exponents of brain damage include Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, George W. Bush, the KKK, and Ronald Reagan. The latter was so evil that his brain attempted suicide, causing Alzheimer's disease.
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
The monkey is a primate, which means that it is like a person except smaller, dumber, louder, hairier, and it (in most cases) lives in trees and has a tail. Monkeys are sometimes food for the chimp, a superior animal which enjoys war, fornication, the use of primitive tools, and hooting.
"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
That monkey stole half my bananas! Yesterday he stole half my melons! The day before, he had his tribe launch a volley of monkeyshit at my customers! I'll get that damn monkey!
A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
by jazzriff October 13, 2005
The fundamentalists, also known as fundies or by their Latin classification Homo Phobius, are a subspecies of humanity distinguished by their phobia (simultaneous fear and hatred) of most people who differ from them in any way, based on their extreme religious conviction.
The threat of eternal physical torture in the mythical flaming demon zoo known as "Hell" is the fundies' primary method of insulting others. They base this conviction on millenia-old books of badly-written tribal customs, myths and genealogy which have been mistranslated many times by other fundies. In the case of the Muslim fundie, these books are contained in the Koran, while the Christian fundie worships the Bible.
The brain of the "Christian" fundie, while generally underdeveloped and often host of outlandish delusions, has a large capacity for memorization of Bible verses (or in the case of the Islamic fundie, Koran verses), often in the Shakespearian English of the King James Version, as this is less easily understood, and thus more easily twisted into the basic fundie message, which is "hate thy neighbor." Fundies, however, occasionally use the euphemism "love thy neighbor" (a rare example of non-literal fundie language) to convey the same idea.
Fundie dogma, along with what has already been mentioned, includes the concepts that differences between individuals, differences often so insignificant as to be unnoticeable without spying, should be the basis for undying hatred of those who possess any of these horrible differences, and for their condemnation to eternal Hellfire. This philosophy is also known as bigotry or douchebaggery. This is based on their occasional cursory reading of the above-mentioned texts combined with their lack of ability to understand the concepts of metaphor, sarcasm or any type of humor whatsoever. Often the fundie will not in fact read the "holy" texts, but will simply memorize the passages which other fundies recite. This is a common behavior pattern of the fundie, since, along with being often illiterate, they are incapable of logical thought, and thus cannot develop any individual opinions on the meaning of these texts.
A short list of those who are often considered by the fundie to be inferior follows:
-atheists
-agnostics
-Muslims according to Christian fundies, and Christians according to Muslim fundies
-HOMOSEXUALS (this is generally the most important enemy of the fundie)
-people who have sex before marriage
-people who are not white
-members of any cult other than that of the fundie in question
-immigrants
-liberals (in the sense of "Democrats" as well as the sense of people who think independently, and/or support any less strict form of government than theocratic fascism, and/or in any way support the concepts of peace, love, or tolerance, as espoused by the Christian fundie's supposed idol, Jesus Christ.)
-people who read or mention parts of the scriptures which endorse liberal blasphemies such as tolerance
-every subculture except their own (e.g. punks, Goths, both of which are known in fundie dialect as "Satanists")
-users of any mind-altering drug except pharmaceuticals and caffeine (and depending on the particular cult, tobacco and alcohol are sometimes accepted)
-married couples who do not always have sex in the missionary position
Despite the similarity in names, fundies despise all forms of fun (such as sex, drug use, movies, dancing, and non-gospel music), considering them to be Satanic.
A short list of fundie cults follows:
-White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan
-Liberty University (despite the name, the members of this cult have a special hatred for liberty, since it is valued by liberals)
-Bob Jones University (for all practical purposes identical with Liberty University)
-Al Qaeda (Islamic)
-the Baptist church
-Pentecostalism (one of the main rituals of this cult involves feigning an epileptic fit while babbling incomprehensbily, which oddly is seen as a sign of holiness and purity)
Though their philosophy would in most places condemn them to be homeless pariahs, in the Southern United States many fundies have found work as preachers and other types of demagagogues (such as politicians). Though fundies for the most part lack any practical skills by fault of their underdeveloped and hate-flooded brains, the ability to convince people that other types of people are not human, but in fact demons sent by Satan, is a valued and respected skill in fundie culture. Abbreviated examples of this ability, often based on the misinterpretation of statistics, are below.
The threat of eternal physical torture in the mythical flaming demon zoo known as "Hell" is the fundies' primary method of insulting others. They base this conviction on millenia-old books of badly-written tribal customs, myths and genealogy which have been mistranslated many times by other fundies. In the case of the Muslim fundie, these books are contained in the Koran, while the Christian fundie worships the Bible.
The brain of the "Christian" fundie, while generally underdeveloped and often host of outlandish delusions, has a large capacity for memorization of Bible verses (or in the case of the Islamic fundie, Koran verses), often in the Shakespearian English of the King James Version, as this is less easily understood, and thus more easily twisted into the basic fundie message, which is "hate thy neighbor." Fundies, however, occasionally use the euphemism "love thy neighbor" (a rare example of non-literal fundie language) to convey the same idea.
Fundie dogma, along with what has already been mentioned, includes the concepts that differences between individuals, differences often so insignificant as to be unnoticeable without spying, should be the basis for undying hatred of those who possess any of these horrible differences, and for their condemnation to eternal Hellfire. This philosophy is also known as bigotry or douchebaggery. This is based on their occasional cursory reading of the above-mentioned texts combined with their lack of ability to understand the concepts of metaphor, sarcasm or any type of humor whatsoever. Often the fundie will not in fact read the "holy" texts, but will simply memorize the passages which other fundies recite. This is a common behavior pattern of the fundie, since, along with being often illiterate, they are incapable of logical thought, and thus cannot develop any individual opinions on the meaning of these texts.
A short list of those who are often considered by the fundie to be inferior follows:
-atheists
-agnostics
-Muslims according to Christian fundies, and Christians according to Muslim fundies
-HOMOSEXUALS (this is generally the most important enemy of the fundie)
-people who have sex before marriage
-people who are not white
-members of any cult other than that of the fundie in question
-immigrants
-liberals (in the sense of "Democrats" as well as the sense of people who think independently, and/or support any less strict form of government than theocratic fascism, and/or in any way support the concepts of peace, love, or tolerance, as espoused by the Christian fundie's supposed idol, Jesus Christ.)
-people who read or mention parts of the scriptures which endorse liberal blasphemies such as tolerance
-every subculture except their own (e.g. punks, Goths, both of which are known in fundie dialect as "Satanists")
-users of any mind-altering drug except pharmaceuticals and caffeine (and depending on the particular cult, tobacco and alcohol are sometimes accepted)
-married couples who do not always have sex in the missionary position
Despite the similarity in names, fundies despise all forms of fun (such as sex, drug use, movies, dancing, and non-gospel music), considering them to be Satanic.
A short list of fundie cults follows:
-White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan
-Liberty University (despite the name, the members of this cult have a special hatred for liberty, since it is valued by liberals)
-Bob Jones University (for all practical purposes identical with Liberty University)
-Al Qaeda (Islamic)
-the Baptist church
-Pentecostalism (one of the main rituals of this cult involves feigning an epileptic fit while babbling incomprehensbily, which oddly is seen as a sign of holiness and purity)
Though their philosophy would in most places condemn them to be homeless pariahs, in the Southern United States many fundies have found work as preachers and other types of demagagogues (such as politicians). Though fundies for the most part lack any practical skills by fault of their underdeveloped and hate-flooded brains, the ability to convince people that other types of people are not human, but in fact demons sent by Satan, is a valued and respected skill in fundie culture. Abbreviated examples of this ability, often based on the misinterpretation of statistics, are below.
Fact:Black people are arrested, convicted and incarcerated at dramatically higher rates than white people in the U.S.
Standard interpretation: racism is systemic, and/or cops often make mass arrests in black ghettoes.
Fundie (or "psychotic") interpretation: The nigger is a violent and inferior lifeform! They will all burn in hell! We must bring back segregation to protect ourselves!
Fact: Fossil evidence suggests that species evolved over millions of years. As this is scientific evidence, many intellectuals (for example liberals) accept it as fact.
Fundie (or "schizophrenic") interpretation: The Bible does not mention evolution! Therefore the Devil planted the fossil record! The liberals believe the fossil record, therefore they are servants of Satan! The liberals are not people! They must be assimilated!
Standard interpretation: racism is systemic, and/or cops often make mass arrests in black ghettoes.
Fundie (or "psychotic") interpretation: The nigger is a violent and inferior lifeform! They will all burn in hell! We must bring back segregation to protect ourselves!
Fact: Fossil evidence suggests that species evolved over millions of years. As this is scientific evidence, many intellectuals (for example liberals) accept it as fact.
Fundie (or "schizophrenic") interpretation: The Bible does not mention evolution! Therefore the Devil planted the fossil record! The liberals believe the fossil record, therefore they are servants of Satan! The liberals are not people! They must be assimilated!
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
The word "loony" comes from the retarded superstition that staring at the moon will make you batshit crazy. It can mean one of 2 things:
1)Someone who disagrees with you, and who you do not wish to speak to or listen to. This term can be used by nancy boys and douchebags such as fundies, generally to refer to lib'rals.
2)Someone who is demonstrably delusional or psychotic. Often these people will disguise their psychosis as a political ideology, generally blaming various groups of scapegoats for all their problems based on negligible or nonexistent evidence.
1)Someone who disagrees with you, and who you do not wish to speak to or listen to. This term can be used by nancy boys and douchebags such as fundies, generally to refer to lib'rals.
2)Someone who is demonstrably delusional or psychotic. Often these people will disguise their psychosis as a political ideology, generally blaming various groups of scapegoats for all their problems based on negligible or nonexistent evidence.
Famous current loonies include: Ann Coulter, John Ashcroft, Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Osama bin Laden, and all other fundies, Nazis, and people involved with (or seriously believing the rhetoric of) the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology.
The most common relatively sane person to be an alleged loony is Michael Moore, who contrary to Republican beliefs is not actually insane, but simply obese and incoherent.
The most common relatively sane person to be an alleged loony is Michael Moore, who contrary to Republican beliefs is not actually insane, but simply obese and incoherent.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
The PDFA or "Partnership for a Drug-Free America" is a neo-fascist propaganda organization who advocates the elimination of all illegal drug use, using retarded television ads which the U.S. government has repeatedly proven to be completely ineffective. It is well known for comparing all illegal drug users to terrorists through the retard-logic that since some terrorists make money by selling drugs (mainly opium and heroin), any illegal drug user is a proud sponsor of terrorism. By this logic, those who buy gasoline and diamonds should also be demonized and imprisoned, as these are also large sources of income for terrorists. Other ads of theirs make the same hilarious and flagrantly false claims as early 1920's reefer madness films, namely that marijuana will transform you into a murderer and/or rapist and/or teenage whore.
As their name implies, the PDFA support a historically unprecedented goal, the "drug-free society." This qualifies them as loonies. The fact that their ads have no effect whatsoever leads them to ask for more money to put out more of the same ads. This is known as insanity.
The PDFA, a part of the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology, is a subset of the philosophical movement douchebaggery.
In the tradition of bigotry, the PDFA for many years were obvious hypocrites, accepting large sums money from alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical companies (presumably in the interests of reducing the competition in the market for mind-altering substances).
As their name implies, the PDFA support a historically unprecedented goal, the "drug-free society." This qualifies them as loonies. The fact that their ads have no effect whatsoever leads them to ask for more money to put out more of the same ads. This is known as insanity.
The PDFA, a part of the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology, is a subset of the philosophical movement douchebaggery.
In the tradition of bigotry, the PDFA for many years were obvious hypocrites, accepting large sums money from alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical companies (presumably in the interests of reducing the competition in the market for mind-altering substances).
PDFA (in complete seriousness): If you smoke a joint, you will by definition find a loaded, cocked gun in your desk and shoot the next person you see. Or, you will run over a small child while driving your car through a fast-food drive-thru and simultaneously smoking marijuana in broad daylight. Or, you will get AIDS.
Stoner: OMG man this shit is fucking hilarious! (*takes hits from the bong*) They should put this stuff on DVD!
Stoner: OMG man this shit is fucking hilarious! (*takes hits from the bong*) They should put this stuff on DVD!
by jazzriff October 12, 2005