Definitions by jazzriff
soul
Technically: a religious concept of an immortal individual conciousness, the mind superimposed on an invisible and supposedly indestructible and universal substance called "spirit."
Colloquially: authenticity, style, or passion. Used almost exclusively in expressions similar to "he's got soul," often used to refer to individual (e.g. improvisational) expression in music styles such as jazz.
Also, a harmonically simple, often syncopated, style of music made by black people such as James Brown, usually played by small groups, though occasionally involving horn sections, related to funk and rock and always having vocals. This music is claimed to embody the above characteristic.
Colloquially: authenticity, style, or passion. Used almost exclusively in expressions similar to "he's got soul," often used to refer to individual (e.g. improvisational) expression in music styles such as jazz.
Also, a harmonically simple, often syncopated, style of music made by black people such as James Brown, usually played by small groups, though occasionally involving horn sections, related to funk and rock and always having vocals. This music is claimed to embody the above characteristic.
fop
Fop might as well be an acronym for Fashion-Obsessed Prick. A fop is someone who is obsessed with (and thus always wears) expensive, fancy clothes, and with appearances in general and other meaningless bullshit. Sometimes a fop's clothing and jewelry simply appears expensive and is in fact worth jack shit.
dastardly
Strangely, "bastardly" is not a word, but the same meaning is served by the term "dastardly." Once a serious insult, dastardly is now almost always used sarcastically. If used seriously, the speaker is most likely a nancy boy and/or fop. It is generally used in the phrase "dastardly deed(s)."
the monkey
The monkey is a primate, which means that it is like a person except smaller, dumber, louder, hairier, and it (in most cases) lives in trees and has a tail. Monkeys are sometimes food for the chimp, a superior animal which enjoys war, fornication, the use of primitive tools, and hooting.
"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
That monkey stole half my bananas! Yesterday he stole half my melons! The day before, he had his tribe launch a volley of monkeyshit at my customers! I'll get that damn monkey!
A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
the monkey by jazzriff October 29, 2005
crack baby
A completely fictional creature invented in the 1980's by the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology. The allegation was that crack cocaine smoked by pregnant women essentially caused fetal alcohol syndrome, when in fact (as many doctors have testified), the often-freakish babies born to crack addicts were the victims of serious malnutrition (as their mothers were often very poor and/or retarded) and of course fetal alcohol syndrome.
Interviewer: Tell us about the crack baby plague which is sweeping the nation.
Doctor: Actually, on examining these "crack babies," I find that their mothers were almost always alcholics and chain-smokers who were seriously malnourished during pregnancy. Any fetus would be extremely lucky to end up normal in that situation, with or without cocaine.
Interviewer: No, you're not getting the concept. We want to know about the *plague* of *crack babies*. If you won't cooperate we'll just interview someone else.
(true story, paraphrased)
Doctor: Actually, on examining these "crack babies," I find that their mothers were almost always alcholics and chain-smokers who were seriously malnourished during pregnancy. Any fetus would be extremely lucky to end up normal in that situation, with or without cocaine.
Interviewer: No, you're not getting the concept. We want to know about the *plague* of *crack babies*. If you won't cooperate we'll just interview someone else.
(true story, paraphrased)
crack baby by jazzriff October 29, 2005
lib'rals
In fundie folklore, the lib'ral is a legendary animal of unkown origin, with supernatural powers which it uses to exclusively evil ends. Many ancient anecdotes relate the power of the lib'ral to control the minds of others, and as the legends go, this power is mainly used to distort the media's depiction of reality. How this feat is achieved is not understood, as it has often been observed that media outlets are more often owned by Republicans. According to legend, the lib'ral often enjoys using its considerable powers for the following other dastardly deeds (this is not a complete list:
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.