jazzriff's definitions
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology is a popular and global cult which holds the paranoid belief that all scientific studies regarding illegal drugs are liberal conspiracies and thus completely false, and that all illegal drugs are without exception Satanic, immoral, life-ruining, addictive, and deadly. The actions of this cult are oriented towards demonizing and incarcerating all illegal drug users, and in some cases removing them from the earth in some type of Holocaust (see Rush Limbaugh). They strongly and unquestionably support the war on drugs. The official term for all those who disagree with them in any way is "pro-drug."
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
"Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men." (1929)
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Get the Church of Voodoo Pharmacologymug. Trolling is the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet, generally on message boards. When done in a moderated internet community, this can result in banning. When done to uptight people such as fundies, this can result in hilarity.
by jazzriff October 29, 2005
Get the trollingmug. In fundie folklore, the lib'ral is a legendary animal of unkown origin, with supernatural powers which it uses to exclusively evil ends. Many ancient anecdotes relate the power of the lib'ral to control the minds of others, and as the legends go, this power is mainly used to distort the media's depiction of reality. How this feat is achieved is not understood, as it has often been observed that media outlets are more often owned by Republicans. According to legend, the lib'ral often enjoys using its considerable powers for the following other dastardly deeds (this is not a complete list:
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
Pete: You seen that news report today on (insert channel here)?
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
by jazzriff October 16, 2005
Get the lib'ralsmug. Damage to the brain, usually defined by dead brain cells which would otherwise survive, is known to be caused by several things:
-fetal alcohol syndrome
-being constantly on speed for about 3 days
-large quantities of Ecstasy (a massive overdose)
-incompetently synthesized synthetic drugs
-being constantly drunk for about 3 days
-being hit on the head reeeal hard (see child abuse)
-being raised by fundies
Many people will claim that *any* mind-altering substance causes brain damage, but since this has never been scientifically demonstrated, these people are generally ignorant. See Church of Voodoo Pharmacology (assuming the editors have accepted it).
The general result is retardation, and it can cause the victim to join the fundies or other cults. It can also cause epilepsy, which can increase the ease of acceptance in a fundie cult because many of them view seizures as divine possession.
-fetal alcohol syndrome
-being constantly on speed for about 3 days
-large quantities of Ecstasy (a massive overdose)
-incompetently synthesized synthetic drugs
-being constantly drunk for about 3 days
-being hit on the head reeeal hard (see child abuse)
-being raised by fundies
Many people will claim that *any* mind-altering substance causes brain damage, but since this has never been scientifically demonstrated, these people are generally ignorant. See Church of Voodoo Pharmacology (assuming the editors have accepted it).
The general result is retardation, and it can cause the victim to join the fundies or other cults. It can also cause epilepsy, which can increase the ease of acceptance in a fundie cult because many of them view seizures as divine possession.
Popular exponents of brain damage include Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, George W. Bush, the KKK, and Ronald Reagan. The latter was so evil that his brain attempted suicide, causing Alzheimer's disease.
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
Get the brain damagemug. The PDFA or "Partnership for a Drug-Free America" is a neo-fascist propaganda organization who advocates the elimination of all illegal drug use, using retarded television ads which the U.S. government has repeatedly proven to be completely ineffective. It is well known for comparing all illegal drug users to terrorists through the retard-logic that since some terrorists make money by selling drugs (mainly opium and heroin), any illegal drug user is a proud sponsor of terrorism. By this logic, those who buy gasoline and diamonds should also be demonized and imprisoned, as these are also large sources of income for terrorists. Other ads of theirs make the same hilarious and flagrantly false claims as early 1920's reefer madness films, namely that marijuana will transform you into a murderer and/or rapist and/or teenage whore.
As their name implies, the PDFA support a historically unprecedented goal, the "drug-free society." This qualifies them as loonies. The fact that their ads have no effect whatsoever leads them to ask for more money to put out more of the same ads. This is known as insanity.
The PDFA, a part of the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology, is a subset of the philosophical movement douchebaggery.
In the tradition of bigotry, the PDFA for many years were obvious hypocrites, accepting large sums money from alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical companies (presumably in the interests of reducing the competition in the market for mind-altering substances).
As their name implies, the PDFA support a historically unprecedented goal, the "drug-free society." This qualifies them as loonies. The fact that their ads have no effect whatsoever leads them to ask for more money to put out more of the same ads. This is known as insanity.
The PDFA, a part of the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology, is a subset of the philosophical movement douchebaggery.
In the tradition of bigotry, the PDFA for many years were obvious hypocrites, accepting large sums money from alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical companies (presumably in the interests of reducing the competition in the market for mind-altering substances).
PDFA (in complete seriousness): If you smoke a joint, you will by definition find a loaded, cocked gun in your desk and shoot the next person you see. Or, you will run over a small child while driving your car through a fast-food drive-thru and simultaneously smoking marijuana in broad daylight. Or, you will get AIDS.
Stoner: OMG man this shit is fucking hilarious! (*takes hits from the bong*) They should put this stuff on DVD!
Stoner: OMG man this shit is fucking hilarious! (*takes hits from the bong*) They should put this stuff on DVD!
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Get the PDFAmug. This refers to brain damage (in the form of permanent retardation) caused by a fetus being exposed to alcohol via the alcoholism of the mother. This is not to be confused with child abuse, which can also cause retardation and brain damage and be caused by alchoholism, but which involves children, which are alive, rather than fetuses, which are not fully alive, and thus inferior. Also not to be confused with the similar concepts of "crack babies" or "meth babies," which are completely unsubstantiated (and widely denounced, by those professionals who study such things) allegations propagated by the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology.
The phrase can be used as an explanation for unusually retarded behavior. See alcohol in the blood surrogate.
The phrase can be used as an explanation for unusually retarded behavior. See alcohol in the blood surrogate.
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
Get the fetal alcohol syndromemug. The ONDCP, or Office of National Drug Control Policy, is a hate group and propaganda organization similar to the PDFA, except that it is a part of the U.S. government and thus gets massive taxpayer funding. They advocate the same things as the PDFA, including the parenting tactic of spying on your kids. There is so much similarity between the PDFA and the ONDCP that there are very few people alive who can tell the difference anymore. I am not one of these people; thus anything on the PDFA page is probably true of the ONDCP as well (and not necessarily true of the PDFA, but probably). They are part of the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology, the same cult as the PDFA and DEA.
ONDCP: Calling drug users terrorists isn't working! We blame the terrorists and the liberals! Give us more money to do the same thing louder and more frequently!
U.S. government: That'll show them pro-drug types!
U.S. government: That'll show them pro-drug types!
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Get the ONDCPmug.