jazzriff's definitions
Fop might as well be an acronym for Fashion-Obsessed Prick. A fop is someone who is obsessed with (and thus always wears) expensive, fancy clothes, and with appearances in general and other meaningless bullshit. Sometimes a fop's clothing and jewelry simply appears expensive and is in fact worth jack shit.
Jerry Seinfeld looked like a fucking fop when he wore that fluffy shirt in that one episode. You know the one.
by jazzriff October 29, 2005
Get the fop mug.The monkey is a primate, which means that it is like a person except smaller, dumber, louder, hairier, and it (in most cases) lives in trees and has a tail. Monkeys are sometimes food for the chimp, a superior animal which enjoys war, fornication, the use of primitive tools, and hooting.
"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
"Monkey" can also be used more broadly in the sense of "ape-like creature" or to refer to a person who resembles such a creature, such as a troglodyte. This is generally an insult (rarely, referring to a silly clownish person, it is not as harsh). In any case, the monkey generally enjoys the following:
-stealing things, especially food
-hurling excrement at people (see also politician)
-comic mischief in general
-cocaine
-hooting
That monkey stole half my bananas! Yesterday he stole half my melons! The day before, he had his tribe launch a volley of monkeyshit at my customers! I'll get that damn monkey!
A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
A KKK rally is just a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Look, the monkey is making a speech again on TV! He's not very good with English, but maybe he could learn sign language like that gorilla everybody loved.
by jazzriff October 29, 2005
Get the the monkey mug.Trolling is the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet, generally on message boards. When done in a moderated internet community, this can result in banning. When done to uptight people such as fundies, this can result in hilarity.
by jazzriff October 29, 2005
Get the trolling mug.A term used to indicate extreme pleasure with something (it could be practically anything), to the point of that something inducing the grabbing of one's genital area in a reflexive attempt at masturbation. Not necessarily literal. The term was coined by television buffoon Homer Simpson.
by jazzriff October 14, 2005
Get the groin-grabbingly good mug.In fundie folklore, the lib'ral is a legendary animal of unkown origin, with supernatural powers which it uses to exclusively evil ends. Many ancient anecdotes relate the power of the lib'ral to control the minds of others, and as the legends go, this power is mainly used to distort the media's depiction of reality. How this feat is achieved is not understood, as it has often been observed that media outlets are more often owned by Republicans. According to legend, the lib'ral often enjoys using its considerable powers for the following other dastardly deeds (this is not a complete list:
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
-supporting terrorism
-questioning the administration
-eating babies
-legalizing drugs (oddly, these attempts have not yet been successful)
-raising taxes
-reducing average personal hygiene
-getting 10-year-olds addicted to crack
-stealing vintage automobiles, and using them to committing fornication frequently and easily
-human sacrifice
Practically any mishap or problem in the life of the Republican can and will be blamed on the lib'rals.
Pete: You seen that news report today on (insert channel here)?
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
Jerry: It almost made them Muslims look like human beings! Damn them lib'rals in the media!
Vern: Dang, Joe-Bob, someone done run off with mah wife, my hounds and mah penis enlarger pump!
Joe-Bob: It's them lib'rals at work again!
by jazzriff October 16, 2005
Get the lib'rals mug.The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology is a popular and global cult which holds the paranoid belief that all scientific studies regarding illegal drugs are liberal conspiracies and thus completely false, and that all illegal drugs are without exception Satanic, immoral, life-ruining, addictive, and deadly. The actions of this cult are oriented towards demonizing and incarcerating all illegal drug users, and in some cases removing them from the earth in some type of Holocaust (see Rush Limbaugh). They strongly and unquestionably support the war on drugs. The official term for all those who disagree with them in any way is "pro-drug."
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
Many organizations are involved in this cult, including the PDFA, ONDCP, DEA, UN, Republicans, and various pharmaceutical companies, as well as almost all fundie groups. The cult has no official leadership, but the US government and UN share most of the administrative duties.
The cult was founded by Harry J. Anslinger (also first head of the DEA), who was mainly responsible, through the successful use of propaganda, for the national and subsequently global criminalization of marijuana (globally criminalized through U.N. conventions). He was well-known for his racism and violent hatred of jazz, as well as his hypocrisy, reversing his position on the effects of marijuana from the claim that it would make you murderous to the claim that it would make you absolutely useless. This led some to conclude that he was hepped up on goofballs. Some enlightening quotes from him are below.
"Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men." (1929)
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others."
"...the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races." (taken from his testimony to Congress)
"Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death."
"You smoke a joint and you're likely to kill your brother."
"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing." (1948)
The Church of Voodoo Pharmacology continues to be well known for hypocrisy, racism, and an obsession with marijuana.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Get the Church of Voodoo Pharmacology mug.1)The philosophy held by douchebags, holding that no one other than themselves (or perhaps their close associates) matters in the least bit, and thus that other human beings can and should be treated like complete excrement for little or no reason (and often for selfish reasons). Closely related to fascism, which has been practiced by control freaks such as Adolf Hitler.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
2)The act of putting this philosophy into practice.
1)Some notable (historical and otherwise) adherents of douchebaggery: Josef Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, George W. Bush, Adolf Hitler, Andrew Jackson, George Lincoln Rockwell, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
2)Examples of douchebaggery in practice, varying in scope and intensity (in the order of the above adherents): fascism; violent political oppression; winning an election through obvious fraud and subsequently invading Iraq based on admitted lies; the Holocaust; the genocide of the Native Americans; the founding of the American Nazi Party; more violent political oppression; declaring jihad on an entire country and slaughtering 3,000 innocent cubicle workers as part of it; declaring a War on Drugs based largely on the delusion that "every one of those goddamn bastards out to legalize marijuana is a Jew" (direct quote from President Richard Nixon); treating the Constitution and the natural environment as a set of obstacles to be overcome.
by jazzriff October 12, 2005
Get the douchebaggery mug.