Definitions by gnostic1
scrum
n. Central activity in Rugby football. Sixteen overweight men or women push into each other while holding one anothers shirt tails. Face-kicking, ear-biting and scrotum-butting are allowed, but, oddly, foot-lifting is severely punished. A call of "not in straight" results in a penalty kick instead of knowing sniggers while a call of "push over try" results in jubilation and moist scrum down.
spinal fusion precursor
n. Any dangerous activity that might result in a broken neck. Originally used in radical skateboarding it is now used in everyday situations. Also a sexual euphemism.
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I'm going to tell the boss where he can stick his stupid new ideas for productivity.
Have you given anyone a spinal fusion precursor before?
A couple of times, but don't change the subject.
Have you given anyone a spinal fusion precursor before?
A couple of times, but don't change the subject.
spinal fusion precursor by gnostic1 March 21, 2012
Biggar
place. Amusingly named hamlet in Saskatchewan, Canada known as a waystop on the trail to Saskatoon and as the birthplace of four-a-side lassies ice curling. Aboriginal influences were never quite extinguished by the European influx thus Biggar retains a cross-cultural flair that attracts tourists, Scandanavian ethnographers and geneologists.
Grain farming and grain farming remain the primary industries although many music teachers work there, part-time nursing positions abound and the Adult Theatre Group has a steady audience for their original shows and endless Godspell adaptations.
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Grain farming and grain farming remain the primary industries although many music teachers work there, part-time nursing positions abound and the Adult Theatre Group has a steady audience for their original shows and endless Godspell adaptations.
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"New York may be large and smelly, but Biggar isn't better!"
No. I don't think that should go up on the sign.
How about "New York is big ... but this is Biggar!"
That's better.
No. I don't think that should go up on the sign.
How about "New York is big ... but this is Biggar!"
That's better.
briar
n. Any important ice-curling or water-polo tournament where prizes in the form of large coffee-cups are awarded for shot-rock, sweepings mvp, and top goalie. Often Canadians and Swedish folk take their elderly or infirm relatives to Briars as it is a restful form of entertainment that will not over-stimulate the senses. Traditionally women are not allowed to compete in Briars except mid-week but this is changing with the introduction of half-weight rocks. A Canada-wide briar, in which the revered Tim Horton's Coffee Tankard is awarded, is held every three years with entrants selected in a national lottery.
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Are you taking your granny to the Briar in Calgary this week-end? I hear the Canadian coffee tankard is up for grabs.
No. She has to get her colostomy changed over for the winter so it don't freeze.
No. She has to get her colostomy changed over for the winter so it don't freeze.
sweepings
n. ice chips and snow that accumulate on an ice-curling rink and have to be shoveled off between innings. Traditionally they are removed by the team lying two.
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Hey now, eh! Hurry hard and get them sweepings off the hack ice! That tankard ain't going to draw itself to the button!
guard
n. An ice-curling term for a granite stone large enough to prevent opposition rocks from hacking into the button. Traditionally a guard is pushed into the house in the later stages of the draw to sweep a tie.
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Goggle
v. To look at a problem and think up a solution; to come up with a date, name, etc. based on one's personal store of acquired knowledge.
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