Pork and Beans

A term to describe a Happy Shopper, or Betty Both. One who bowls from both the Pavillion and the members' end. Half rice, Half Chips.
'Birthdays:David Bowie, formerly Pork and Beans, now just beans, singer, 56 today' ('The Times' Jan 8th, 2003)
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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Beer Angel

The unseen guiding force that watches over and keeps safe the inebriated as they stagger across all six lanes of the North Circular at chucking out time.
Loss of vision or memory, and complete bewilderment as to how you got home safely and in one piece means only one thing, that your beer angel was watching over you.
by garthy July 08, 2006
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cunt

The female genitals. Once common parlance, the term has been considered impolite since the end of the 14th Century. Not recommended for use in front of the mother-in-law. Also extremely derogotive
"You know, i always hated your mum, she was a right Cunt" As quoted from the Duke of Edinburgh to Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizebeth II in "Queenies Tales"
by garthy July 08, 2006
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loose sausage meat


Flaccid penis which cannot be funnelled into a condom.
As in "Sorry love, I've got loose sausage meat ".
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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Porn Buddy

A Clitary Executor. A single fellows best friend who, in the event of his untimely death, is charged with the important task of removing and disposing of his stash of grumblebefore his grieving parents arrive tosearch through his effects for touching momentoes, and things to put on eBay.
If former Poet Laureate and lifelong jazz enthusiast Philip Larkin's porn buddy had managed to carry out the Hull Universty Librarians final wishes, it is estimated that the resulting bonfire of hardcore art pamphlets would have been visible from the Moon
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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Self Help Manual

An item of literature that aids relaxation
Playboy, Penthouse, Razzle, The Pants and Bra section of Littlewoods catalogue, The back of a Special K box, family holiday photos could all be used as a self help manual
by Garthy September 19, 2006
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Beer Goggles

Imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have drunk too much beer.
"What? You fancy that!?! You must be wearing beer goggles".
by garthy July 08, 2006
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