15 definitions by garthy
Playboy, Penthouse, Razzle, The Pants and Bra section of Littlewoods catalogue, The back of a Special K box, family holiday photos could all be used as a self help manual
by garthy September 19, 2006
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"Hey Gordon, wheres the art pamphlets, Cherie's on the blob and i'm gonna have to knock one out before I address Parliament on climate change". "There in the shitter where you left them Tony, you fucking twat"
by garthy September 19, 2006
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The female genitals. Once common parlance, the term has been considered impolite since the end of the 14th Century. Not recommended for use in front of the mother-in-law. Also extremely derogotive
"You know, i always hated your mum, she was a right Cunt" As quoted from the Duke of Edinburgh to Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizebeth II in "Queenies Tales"
by garthy July 08, 2006
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The unseen guiding force that watches over and keeps safe the inebriated as they stagger across all six lanes of the North Circular at chucking out time.
Loss of vision or memory, and complete bewilderment as to how you got home safely and in one piece means only one thing, that your beer angel was watching over you.
by garthy July 08, 2006
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Imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have drunk too much beer.
by garthy July 08, 2006
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"forgive me your majesty, whilst i adjust my doublet and hose. I have sailed the oceans these last six months and have not changed my codpiece since we left the New World. I fear i have the most awful Betties (Sir Walter Raleigh, Audience with Queen Elizabeth I, 1584) Betty Swollocks
by garthy July 09, 2006
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`Consigniawas powerless to resist. His eyes burnt into hers like like ambers. His muscular arms enfolded her her body as she felt herself being swept away on a tradewind of passion. "Now Fernando," she gasped "Take me now. All these years in the convent i've been saving myself for the right man, and now i've found you." "Fucking get," breathed Fernando. "you must have a snatch like a mole's eye." (from `The Nun and the Windowcleaner` by Barbara Cartland
by garthy September 19, 2006
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