garthy's definitions

Mole's Eye

A twat which makes a mouse's ear look like a horse's collar

`Consigniawas powerless to resist. His eyes burnt into hers like like ambers. His muscular arms enfolded her her body as she felt herself being swept away on a tradewind of passion. "Now Fernando," she gasped "Take me now. All these years in the convent i've been saving myself for the right man, and now i've found you." "Fucking get," breathed Fernando. "you must have a snatch like a mole's eye." (from `The Nun and the Windowcleaner` by Barbara Cartland

by Garthy September 19, 2006

Dutch oven

Beneath the bedclothes after someone has played ‘Reveille' on the botty bugle.

"A Dutch Oven is the art of cooking ones partners' head beneath the bedclothes using cabbage-gas, made popular by Emperor Julius Ceaser during the hieght of Roman rule in Europe". (Adam Hart-Davies, from the popular TV series 'What the Romans did for us, 2003')

by Garthy September 19, 2006

cunt

The female genitals. Once common parlance, the term has been considered impolite since the end of the 14th Century. Not recommended for use in front of the mother-in-law. Also extremely derogotive

"You know, i always hated your mum, she was a right Cunt" As quoted from the Duke of Edinburgh to Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizebeth II in "Queenies Tales"

by garthy August 25, 2006

twitter

Female perineum; that area of the anatomy between the twat and the shitter

Stop Tony, your not even in... your only just touching my twitter, from The Diaries of Cherie Blair

by garthy July 8, 2006

wank

1. Masturbation. 2. n. Rubbish. e.g. "Don't talk wank". 3. v. To masturbate. As in "My brother wanks all the time and he's got perfect eyesight".

As in "If you have a wank every day you'll go blind".

by garthy July 8, 2006

Beer Goggles

Imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have drunk too much beer.

"What? You fancy that!?! You must be wearing beer goggles".

by garthy July 8, 2006

loose sausage meat

Flaccid penis which cannot be funnelled into a condom.

As in "Sorry love, I've got loose sausage meat ".

by Garthy September 19, 2006