Skip to main content

flatster's definitions

bollocks on a bulldog

Something that stands out and is very visible. The bulldog's testiclar region is extremely prominant and hence the reference.
Bloke 1: "Fuck me sideways! She's had a tit job!"
Bloke 2: "Like bollocks on a bulldog mate!"
by flatster November 12, 2005
mugGet the bollocks on a bulldogmug.

clangers

"Clangers" are two different things.

One is a 70's BBC children show where a family of Clangers lived on small moon with the soup dragon, the iron chicken and the froglets et al. When they spoke, they sounded like someone playing a swanee whistle. They ate blue string pudding.

The second definition is that one has made a mistake and "dropped a clanger". This is Cockney, not Mockney by the way.
Example one:
Auntie Clanger: WoOowowowoOwOOOowoOOwooo wooo OOoo?
Baby Clanger: OoO.
Other Clangers: OOOOoooo.

Example two:
Bloke 1: Shit.
Bloke 2: What?
Bloke 1: Forgot the whife's birthday.
Bloke 2: Dropped a right fucking clanger there, mate.
by flatster January 19, 2008
mugGet the clangersmug.

drood

A character in the Everquest MMORPG's. This is not a definable character type but rather one who exhibit's certain traits. For example: being a moron, having spell's that other characters would find useful but charging exhorbitantly for, inability to speak in English - can only speak l33tspeak, cannot spell, shits pizza and red bull, doesn't know how to play the game, think's he's l33t (strangely, only male's aspire to being a drood) and probably has a face like a meeting of the worlds worst acne.

In other words, the annoying prick in the game that spoils the enjoyment of others.
Player 1: /ooc Could someone please direct me to Fippy's hill?"
Drood: /shout n00b! u suxx its east out over TS!! no00b!
Player 1: /ooc Um...
/drood: /shout LOLOLO! /d me i r0ck00z
Player 1: Sorry?
/drood: /shout /d me n00b
Player 1: /quit
by Flatster October 28, 2005
mugGet the droodmug.

dump station

"I need a dump!"
"Use the dump station man, not the plant pot! Jeesh!"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
mugGet the dump stationmug.

auditor

The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.

Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"

Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
by flatster December 16, 2008
mugGet the auditormug.

fact

The distance between the anus and the vagina.

Example: hold up your left hand and make a "C" shape with your thumb and index finger.

That's the distance you're looking for.
A FACT: The distance between a fuck hole and a muck hole and if you miss yer inna shit 'n thassa FACT.
by flatster December 28, 2005
mugGet the factmug.

sarbanes oxley (SOx)

1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.
SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!

/bang

SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.
by flatster October 24, 2006
mugGet the sarbanes oxley (SOx)mug.

Share this definition