flatster's definitions
1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.
SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!
/bang
SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!
/bang
SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.
by flatster October 24, 2006
Get the sarbanes oxley (SOx) mug.A method by which one hit's water from a great height, usually at a swimming pool suitably equipped with a 5 metre (or greater) diving board.
Method:
Ascend the dizzying heights of the highest board you find at your local - on indeed, not local - swimming baths. Await the passing-by on the pool side of a life-guard/pregnant woman/hot totty/poof and then leap, feet first into mid air. Pull your knees to your chest and hit the water, arse first, angling slightly to ensure the greatest tsanami-like splash covers abovementioned recipient from head to toe in chlorine rich H2O.
Best accomplished by extremely overweight males who think it all a complete hoot.
Await expletive and expulsion from said swimming baths.
Method:
Ascend the dizzying heights of the highest board you find at your local - on indeed, not local - swimming baths. Await the passing-by on the pool side of a life-guard/pregnant woman/hot totty/poof and then leap, feet first into mid air. Pull your knees to your chest and hit the water, arse first, angling slightly to ensure the greatest tsanami-like splash covers abovementioned recipient from head to toe in chlorine rich H2O.
Best accomplished by extremely overweight males who think it all a complete hoot.
Await expletive and expulsion from said swimming baths.
Diver 1: "Look! There's that gayboy lifeguard! Bomb him!"
***leap***
Diver 2: "YAAAAaaaaaaa!!!!"
***Kasplashyboom***
Lifeguard: "Leave the pool now you wittle wapthcallion you!"
***leap***
Diver 2: "YAAAAaaaaaaa!!!!"
***Kasplashyboom***
Lifeguard: "Leave the pool now you wittle wapthcallion you!"
by Flatster December 28, 2005
Get the bomb mug.The "noise" made by Everquest 1 and 2 Frogloks; a race of amphibious player-controlled racial type's. Normally, these frogs have hilariously original names like "Kermit" or Kerrrrrmit" or "Kermitttt".
When engaged in conversation, the cunt controlling said Froglok will only respond with the ludicrously funny "froak" in their chat line. This is, of course, accepted and praised by other 12 year-old moron's who think it's the pinnacle of whit and rapier-like subtlety.
Froak.
When engaged in conversation, the cunt controlling said Froglok will only respond with the ludicrously funny "froak" in their chat line. This is, of course, accepted and praised by other 12 year-old moron's who think it's the pinnacle of whit and rapier-like subtlety.
Froak.
"D00d, yr froggy is teh roxx0rs!"
"froak"
"LOLOLO!!""" taht's so cool"
"froak"
"LFMAO stop ddude my diaframs gunna burste!!!11!"
"FROAK!
"ROFLMAOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!111!!!!w00t!"
"froak"
"LOLOLO!!""" taht's so cool"
"froak"
"LFMAO stop ddude my diaframs gunna burste!!!11!"
"FROAK!
"ROFLMAOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!111!!!!w00t!"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
Get the froak mug.1) To drive a car through a shop window in order to illegally procure goods from aforementioned emporium.
2) Ulgy people can look like they've been ram raiding on motorcycles.
2) Ulgy people can look like they've been ram raiding on motorcycles.
1)
Chav: Lookit! Burbree! Lessnickit!
Chavette: 'right Kev! Puya foo' darn n ram raidit!
Chav: aight! Arma ram raider, me!
2)
She was so fucking ugly, she looked like she'd been ram raiding on a motorcycle.
Chav: Lookit! Burbree! Lessnickit!
Chavette: 'right Kev! Puya foo' darn n ram raidit!
Chav: aight! Arma ram raider, me!
2)
She was so fucking ugly, she looked like she'd been ram raiding on a motorcycle.
by flatster October 23, 2006
Get the ram raider mug.The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.
Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"
Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
by flatster December 16, 2008
Get the auditor mug."Clangers" are two different things.
One is a 70's BBC children show where a family of Clangers lived on small moon with the soup dragon, the iron chicken and the froglets et al. When they spoke, they sounded like someone playing a swanee whistle. They ate blue string pudding.
The second definition is that one has made a mistake and "dropped a clanger". This is Cockney, not Mockney by the way.
One is a 70's BBC children show where a family of Clangers lived on small moon with the soup dragon, the iron chicken and the froglets et al. When they spoke, they sounded like someone playing a swanee whistle. They ate blue string pudding.
The second definition is that one has made a mistake and "dropped a clanger". This is Cockney, not Mockney by the way.
Example one:
Auntie Clanger: WoOowowowoOwOOOowoOOwooo wooo OOoo?
Baby Clanger: OoO.
Other Clangers: OOOOoooo.
Example two:
Bloke 1: Shit.
Bloke 2: What?
Bloke 1: Forgot the whife's birthday.
Bloke 2: Dropped a right fucking clanger there, mate.
Auntie Clanger: WoOowowowoOwOOOowoOOwooo wooo OOoo?
Baby Clanger: OoO.
Other Clangers: OOOOoooo.
Example two:
Bloke 1: Shit.
Bloke 2: What?
Bloke 1: Forgot the whife's birthday.
Bloke 2: Dropped a right fucking clanger there, mate.
by flatster January 19, 2008
Get the clangers mug.Breaking down a process or system into smaller modules to make it more accessible/easier to comprehend.
On the other hand, it also mean over-complicating a simple process to the extent of being anal in the extreme.
On the other hand, it also mean over-complicating a simple process to the extent of being anal in the extreme.
Normal Bloke: Here you are Old Lady, let me help you across the road.
Old Lay: Thank you, young man!
Project manager: Now then Normal Bloke, we need more granularity here. Firstly, what road are you referring to? Next, is there any traffic on said road and if so, at what speed is it travelling? We also need to define the camber of the edges and the traction factor of the tarmac under the temperature of the day to ascertain the breaking distance of the road users in case of a Normal-Bloke-Old-Lady-slippage scenario. Next, we need...
Normal bloke: Fuck this, I'm off to Macdonalds.
Old Lay: Thank you, young man!
Project manager: Now then Normal Bloke, we need more granularity here. Firstly, what road are you referring to? Next, is there any traffic on said road and if so, at what speed is it travelling? We also need to define the camber of the edges and the traction factor of the tarmac under the temperature of the day to ascertain the breaking distance of the road users in case of a Normal-Bloke-Old-Lady-slippage scenario. Next, we need...
Normal bloke: Fuck this, I'm off to Macdonalds.
by flatster December 19, 2008
Get the granularity mug.