Eating whatever scraps and leftovers one can find in the house after returning home from a night out. Jigsaw guzzlers are known to piece together meals of cold pasta in Tupperwares, hummus with a spoon, entire packets of sliced ham, and heels of bread from 4 different loaves.
Often leads to couch pizza the following day.
Often leads to couch pizza the following day.
Arriving home 3 hours before her 8AM sociology class, Kendra stumbled into the kitchen and jigsaw guzzled her roommates’ cereal, popcorn, and secret stash of Cheetos before devouring Sasha’s entire block of Parmesan.
by daltonjfk October 03, 2019
Get the Jigsaw guzzlemug. The fatty, tasty Seamless/Deliveroo meal you get for free, but only because you have to stay at the office past midnight and can expense it.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
Those muffled sounds you hear of crackling pickles, crumpling paper bags, and deep, despairing sobs are the analysts in the back digging into their nightly Burger & Cries
by daltonjfk November 27, 2019
Get the Burger & Criesmug. Those thieving mfs using the spare Netflix profile you generously let a friend use.
Netflix second cousins are born when a friend, sibling, or ex shares the password to your Netflix account with their own friends, causing chain immigration into your hard-earned account. They burrow in the profile you don't use and suck the blood out of every last episode of Riverdale or, if they're your actual cousins, Rick & Morty. Netflix second cousins are the reason respectable people get ads targeted to people who still watch Family Guy.
Grateful Netflix second cousins will sometimes refer to the account owner as Auntie/Uncle Netflix. They are $10 richer than him or her.
Netflix second cousins are born when a friend, sibling, or ex shares the password to your Netflix account with their own friends, causing chain immigration into your hard-earned account. They burrow in the profile you don't use and suck the blood out of every last episode of Riverdale or, if they're your actual cousins, Rick & Morty. Netflix second cousins are the reason respectable people get ads targeted to people who still watch Family Guy.
Grateful Netflix second cousins will sometimes refer to the account owner as Auntie/Uncle Netflix. They are $10 richer than him or her.
1: "Why are GI Joe and Adventure Time suggested on your Guest account?"
2: "No doubt something to do with my Netflix second cousins and the phrase 'I'm sure he wont mind.'"
2: "No doubt something to do with my Netflix second cousins and the phrase 'I'm sure he wont mind.'"
by daltonjfk November 06, 2019
Get the Netflix second cousinsmug. The statue of dirty clothes that develops on the chair or floor in a bedroom.
Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
When entering Victor's room, please be sure to step around the six-foot Tide Shrine making its way from his closet to his chaise longue.
by daltonjfk December 19, 2019
Get the Tide Shrinemug. The friend or flatmate whose glistening fingers are always in your food.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
1. "Your Honor, the defendant was caught smacking his lips despite having not cooked any dinner for himself. The defense rests."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
by daltonjfk November 06, 2019
Get the Mr. Steal Yo Mealmug. Someone you wouldn't really talk to except that sitting next to them in class comes with the crucial benefit of always being able to borrow their pens.
Fuccbois and fuccgirls worldwide begin making friends with penefits around middle school, and perfect the technique in high school and college. Shy students with large, adorned pencil cases are often the targets.
Always a one-sided relationship. Taker will gnaw on pen caps the way lovers gnaw on hearts.
Fuccbois and fuccgirls worldwide begin making friends with penefits around middle school, and perfect the technique in high school and college. Shy students with large, adorned pencil cases are often the targets.
Always a one-sided relationship. Taker will gnaw on pen caps the way lovers gnaw on hearts.
From 7th grade through 11th grade, Teddy thought Alyssa and him might have a future together after sitting together in English for 6 years. However, when he started using a tablet and stylus instead of his Pilot pens, she moved to sit next to Chad and he realised they had never been anything more than friends with penefits.
by daltonjfk October 03, 2019
Get the Friends with Penefitsmug. The commando-in-chief. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt, gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but says he's from Texas so his O&G coworkers will accept him.
Coworkers on the Teams call: "I think you're on mute, we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear you!"
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear you!"
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021
Get the George W. F. H. Bushmug.