Expression pronounced by someone who has just heard a joke or story of such high comic value that the listener is instantly deceased. The listener may request an urn from their friends in which to store their remains safely for posterity.
Those who prefer enterrement to cremation may alternatively request “coffin pls”.
Those who prefer enterrement to cremation may alternatively request “coffin pls”.
1: “Did you hear about Gary swimming naked in his boss’s koi pond while stoned.”
2: “Fetch me an urn please.”
2: “Fetch me an urn please.”
by daltonjfk September 30, 2019
The mound of forgotten, forlorn groupchats piling up at the bottom of your messages list.
Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.
According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
Tombstones in the groupchat graveyard often read “Ibiza 2016 🔥”, “Victoria’a bdayyyy”, or, more tragically, “4ever Squad” and “Ride-or-dies”.
According to legend, some of the groupchats in the graveyard may be haunted by the people who acquired your friends’ old phone numbers.
1: “What was the name of that guy I hooked up with at Sara’s brother’s wedding?”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
2: “Check the groupchat graveyard hun.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
When vegetarians start beef
When Layla-Ann accused Melrose of having worn leather shoelaces on Monday, I knew the two of them were about to start tofu.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
The statue of dirty clothes that develops on the chair or floor in a bedroom.
Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
When entering Victor's room, please be sure to step around the six-foot Tide Shrine making its way from his closet to his chaise longue.
by daltonjfk December 19, 2019
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
by daltonjfk October 03, 2019
Liking one’s own instagram post from a secondary account. Dupes unsuspecting followers into believing the poster is one like more popular than they actually are.
by daltonjfk September 08, 2019