connorsji's definitions

asstrocity

an obese person's ass- usually includes folds, wrinkles, and acne along with the fat

On The Beach: "Hey, look at that asstrocity over there. Someone should tell her to wrap a tarp over that thing

by connorsji January 16, 2009

Fecal Mojito

The fecal mojito is the cousin of the uritov cocktail. It consists of a bag that a long-haul trucker uses to take a dump in and the throws it out his window as he is driving.

Driving through Boston, my wife thought that there was a dead cat on the side of the road. I knew better. The son of a bitch in front of me threw a fecal mojito at me. I swerved to avoid the shit splatter, but I didn't avoid the follow up uritov cocktail.

by connorsji May 8, 2008

mentalyptus

1. An ingredient of a cough drop that a moron or retard would ingest when they are sick.

2. What a retarded koala eats in Australia.

Dave: "Hey, Chuck. Want a Halls Mentalyptus?"

Chuck (coughing): "Ahem, what?"

Dave: "Do you need a Halls Mentalyptus?"

Chuck (coughing again): "Ahem, what?"

Dave: "You retard, do you need a cough drop?"

Chuck (coughing yet again): "Ahem, what?"

Dave: "Yes you do! And a lobotomy while we are at it!"

Chuck (coughing for a fourth time): "Ahem, what?"

by connorsji November 9, 2009

penile loogie

what one shoots into a urinal after they masturbate in a company bathroom

The secretary looked so good that I had to go blow a penile loogie in the bathroom

by connorsji May 8, 2008

narcolepelepsy

A disease that causes a person to fall apart at night while having an epileptic seizure.

Jim: "What happened to your arm, Dave? Where did it go?"

Dave: "Well, last night, my wife was blinking a flashlight off and on in bed. I fell asleep and must have a narcolelptic seizure."

Jim: "What the hell is that?"

Dave: "Narcolepelepsy. Don't screw with me. I'm missing an arm."

by connorsji September 4, 2009

Rip Van Shtinkel

A Rip Van Shtinkel is when someone farts so badly while they are asleep that the sound and odor wake them up.

Dave pulled off such a bad Rip Van Shtinkel that no only did it wake him up, it also woke up his wife and his two cats.

by connorsji December 23, 2009

diePod

A diePod is an iPod that has been loaded with songs by either people who are dead or bands that have broken up due to a death

Jim: "Hey Dave, what are you listening to on your diePod?"

Dave: "I'm listening to Frank Sinatra right now, but I have some Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Queen, Dio, and Elvis on there!"

by connorsji May 18, 2010