hummuscide

death by eating bad hummus

Detective Connors: "This was clearly a case of hummuscide."

Distraught Wife: "I know he was murdered!"

Detective Connors: "No, you stupid twit. He ate the hummus you made. Look at the crap you put in there! You killed him!"

by connorsji January 18, 2010

shurp

a burp that smells like shit

"What the hell did you eat? That was the grossest shurp I have ever smelled! Did you have beets and cottage cheese?"

by connorsji January 16, 2009

iGod

An iGod is an iPod that has been loaded with Christian rock and gospel music. Basically a $200 piece of techno-crap with all those Jesus-freak songs on it.

Rick Taplik: "Hey Bert, what do you have on your iPod?"

Bert Stoob: "Oh, I have a bunch of Christian rock and gospel!"

Rick Taplik: "Oh, so do you listen to that gay song 'Place In This World'?"

Bert Stoob: "I have that song but it is not gay. I am a Christian and homosexuality is strictly forbidden by God! I am deeply offended by your comments!"

Rick Taplik: "Keep listening to that iGod and you'll be gay too!"

by connorsji May 18, 2010

penile loogie

what one shoots into a urinal after they masturbate in a company bathroom

The secretary looked so good that I had to go blow a penile loogie in the bathroom

by connorsji May 08, 2008

mentalyptus

1. An ingredient of a cough drop that a moron or retard would ingest when they are sick.

2. What a retarded koala eats in Australia.

Dave: "Hey, Chuck. Want a Halls Mentalyptus?"

Chuck (coughing): "Ahem, what?"

Dave: "Do you need a Halls Mentalyptus?"

Chuck (coughing again): "Ahem, what?"

Dave: "You retard, do you need a cough drop?"

Chuck (coughing yet again): "Ahem, what?"

Dave: "Yes you do! And a lobotomy while we are at it!"

Chuck (coughing for a fourth time): "Ahem, what?"

by connorsji November 09, 2009

narcolepelepsy

A disease that causes a person to fall apart at night while having an epileptic seizure.

Jim: "What happened to your arm, Dave? Where did it go?"

Dave: "Well, last night, my wife was blinking a flashlight off and on in bed. I fell asleep and must have a narcolelptic seizure."

Jim: "What the hell is that?"

Dave: "Narcolepelepsy. Don't screw with me. I'm missing an arm."

by connorsji September 04, 2009

Rip Van Shtinkel

A Rip Van Shtinkel is when someone farts so badly while they are asleep that the sound and odor wake them up.

Dave pulled off such a bad Rip Van Shtinkel that no only did it wake him up, it also woke up his wife and his two cats.

by connorsji December 23, 2009