brian h's definitions

ahab

A guy who prefers screwing fat chicks, simple as that. Ahab is a reference to the captain of the ship that was chasing the giant white whale in Moby Dick.

That chick was so huge she had her own gravitational force and that guy that left with her had to be an ahab

by Brian H October 26, 2005

redman's revenge

When a chick is giving you a handjob, and she's twisting her hands as she goes up and down, she accidentally twists the wrong way and gives your dick an indian burn.

I was having a blast with Marcy but then she gave me a redman's revenge. I've been icing my crotch for a week.

by Brian H October 26, 2005

Testicuzzi

To get this to work, you need to get a chick to gargle a gigantic mouthful of warm water. You then get on top of her face and teabag her. It should be just like a jacuzzi for your balls! (Pronounced Test-i-coo-zee)

My balls have never felt better then when Cara gave them a testicuzzi

by Brian H October 26, 2005

golden starfish

When a chick wants to go anal with you, instead of lube, use instant tanning lotion. It'll feel the same, but when you're done, she'll have a semi-permanant orange ring around her asshole, and she'll have no idea that it's there!

I knew Sara had cheated on me, so before I dumped her, I gave her a golden starfish

by Brian H October 26, 2005

scrump

A chick so nasty and disgusting that even beer goggles won't do her justice.

Even though I was completely hammered and she was 150 yards away, I could still tell that Sharon was a complete scrump

by Brian H October 26, 2005

Hockey Style

This pertains to when you bring a girl back to your house who has a decent body, but her face is nasty (a butterface). When she wants to have sex, you pull her shirt over her head like hockey players do when they get into fights and then bang the hell out of her. It'll be just like you were banging a hot chick!

Sara wanted to do it, but she was a complete scrump so I screwed her hockey style

by Brian H October 26, 2005

phwnage

When you physically or psychologically own the hell out of someone with a telephone. This can be accomplished many ways, you could:

1. Beat the hell out of someone with a phone
2. Hit somone in the nuts with a phone
3. Drunk dial someone important to you and piss them off
4. Prank call somone
5. Etc.

Yeah, the other day I prank called Mike and said I was the cops, he was pissing his pants, then afterwards I threw my cell phone at him and drilled him in the nuts. That was complete phwnage.

by Brian H October 31, 2005