black jesus's definitions

schlong monger

significant other; controller of teh penis

Schlong monger, where's my beer?

by black jesus May 1, 2003

virgin mary

My mother. No, she wasn't white either, plus she was all wrinkly and shit by the time I was 30. Stupid Renaissance painters, always making her look like a teenager...for My Dad's sake, she was like 48 at the time. You were lucky to live to My age in the early A.D. years. Take a look at the paintings of Caravaggio for a more accurate depiction, minus the fact that he painted us all white.

There is more about the Virgin Mary in the Qu'ran than there is in the Bible itself.

by Black Jesus March 28, 2005

cell phone whip

To assault a person utilizing a cellular phone as a weapon. Similar to a pistol whip.

In order to avoid assault, I cell phone whipped him, into unconciousness.

Ho! You know I'll cell phone whip a bitch!

by black jesus July 23, 2005

man cunt

Name given to male who possesses cunt like qualities

I can't believe you won't come out, you are such a man cunt.

by black jesus May 1, 2003

cut a bitch

To strike a woman in the face with the hand.

Sometimes, you've got to cut a bitch in that head.

by black jesus July 23, 2005

college tea

Extreme diarhea, usually caused by heavy drinking. Also known as the liquor shits. Diarhea is classified as such when stool is mostly liquid.

Oh shit, my asshole is on fire. That god damn bottle of Jager made me brew college tea.

by black jesus August 24, 2003

bungie shot

A shot of liquor that is likely to come back up.

No jameson, thats a bungie shot, I'll have something fruity.

by black jesus August 16, 2004