bitchuck's definitions

creampie eating

If a creampie is a freshly-inseminated vagina, creampie eating is the act of licking and swallowing semen directly from the vagina. It's the only gentlemanly way to atone for your sins if you come too soon, leaving your partner not yet fully satisfied.

Just kidding. A cream pie is merely an innocent food or dessert choice, in which case creampie eating is merely a way to pack on a few extra pounds or kilogrammes. Even then, expect this to be fetishised: see BBW, big beautiful woman, BBW chaser and feederism for a taste of where this might be going.

by bitchuck March 14, 2024

sperm recepticle

A misspelling of "sperm receptacle", promulgated by illiterates.

According to sperm.blog "Sperm receptacles, also known as spermathecae, are structures found in female organisms used to store and receive sperm during sexual reproduction. Sperm receptacles are specialized structures in female animals that receive and store sperm from male partners for later fertilization of their eggs. These structures have evolved in a variety of shapes and sizes, ranging from pouches to ducts to sacs, depending on the species."

That much is real. There is, however, no such word as "sperm recepticle".

One more reason why illiterates should not be permitted to breed.

by bitchuck December 14, 2024

Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:

0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual

The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.

I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?

There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.

by bitchuck August 24, 2024

gangbang

Any wild orgy between Smurfsj.

Due to the lopsided gender ratio, any such gathering will inevitably become a gangbang.

According to the reference volume "Sex and the Single Smurfette": as a form of group sex, a Smurf orgy becomes inevitably a gangbang due to lopsided demographics. In the Smurf village there is only one Smurfette. There are seemingly unlimited numbers of male Smurfs, each of whom has blue balls. The only way to relieve all of these blue balls is for Smurfette to smurf every man or boy in the village, one by one, until everyone's smurfed out and too tired to continue.

by bitchuck November 25, 2023

gender fluid

One of various expensive, hard-to-source automotive fluids required (and serviced at periodic intervals per the manufacturer's warranty) to keep your vehicle's continuously-variable transmission (or "tranny") transitioning smoothly from male to female or vice-versa. Usually sold alongside the Unobtainium and other specialist wares in advanced automotive gender identity clinics.

Gender fluid will typically transition from a healthy pink hue to a light blue, depending upon your vehicle's preferred. pronouns. If you are unsure which to use, it's best to consult an automotive gender identity clinic (or "tranny shop") and fall back to singular they/them unless the instructions packaged with your vehicle request a specific pronoun.

Manual "stick-shift" vehicles will most often identify with he/him pronouns, and automatic "slush box" vehicles with she/her, but it's best to never assume unless you've had your motorcar's gender fluid analysed by a skilled endocrinologist.

by bitchuck August 5, 2024

vasectomy housing

In residential land use planning, a development which consists entirely of small apartments intended to house no more than two people each. The logic presumably is that, while landlords are severely restricted in their ability to turn prospective tenants away for having bred like crack-addled rabbits, they are able to turn people away if housing them would mean overcrowding a rental unit... so conveniently there are no units available with space for you and your hellspawn.

Nominally, while regulations vary between regions, the only opportunity for a slumlord to expressly declare a residential development "adults only" often is to force everything 55+ as a retirement or seniors' home. Vasectomy housing avoids the issue by building apartments small enough that there's really no room for all of these extra little people. While they won't say so publicly, local councils are well aware that building this sort of development means less burden on schools, playgrounds or other infrastructure.

by bitchuck September 20, 2024

The fleas of a thousand Kamalas

An ancient Arabian curse which has dogged the Trump party and which will continue to do so effectively and lethally.

The curse that Arabia invoked to defeat Trump's basket of deplorables:

"May the fleas of a thousand Kamalas infest your groinal area,

and may your tiny hands be too inadequate to scratch."

by bitchuck November 1, 2024