A "pool boy" is a servant who cleans pools.
In Internet pornography, these men exist primarily as eye candy to the rich and famous. The posting is prestigious and anyone who takes up the mantle treated as an Adonis among men.
In Internet pornography, these men exist primarily as eye candy to the rich and famous. The posting is prestigious and anyone who takes up the mantle treated as an Adonis among men.
I studied at the Sorbonne to become a pool boy; while there, I espoused a blonde French maidservant as my bride. We had expected this to bring us fame and fortune in California, like that depicted on PornHamster.
If it's on the Internet, it must be true.
Neither of us is quite sure how exactly both careers turned out to be dead-end janitorial paths. If we can't rely upon PornHamster as an expert source when making professional career decisions, whom can we trust?
If it's on the Internet, it must be true.
Neither of us is quite sure how exactly both careers turned out to be dead-end janitorial paths. If we can't rely upon PornHamster as an expert source when making professional career decisions, whom can we trust?
by bitchuck August 24, 2024
Victoria's Secret is some incredibly awkward fact that would publicly humiliate Victoria or irreparably harm her business were it revealed.
by bitchuck September 28, 2023
Something that's completely unusable or effectively useless.
Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.
The phrase "eight people in a basement, huddled around a wooden fireplace" during a power failure originates with the Brockville Recorder & Times, a small-city daily newspaper, reporting on a major icestorm which hit eastern Ontario in Jan 1998. They followed up with another piece on a subsequent power fail which stated "when the insulator is open, the electricity leaks to the ground."
Don't quit your day jobs, kids.
Don't quit your day jobs, kids.
by bitchuck October 05, 2024
An alternative to a masturbation party in which, instead of engaging in a self-congratulatory circle jerk, the participants descend to the level of maliciously chewing each other out.
by bitchuck December 15, 2024
A gangbang, clusterfuck, bukkake or mass circle jerk.
Named for the very skewed gender demographics, in which a typical Smurf village might have only one Smurfette for a population of nearly a hundred of the horny, blue-balled fuckers. The end result is these horny fucks will smurf just about anything if deprived of sexual activity for long enough.
Named for the very skewed gender demographics, in which a typical Smurf village might have only one Smurfette for a population of nearly a hundred of the horny, blue-balled fuckers. The end result is these horny fucks will smurf just about anything if deprived of sexual activity for long enough.
Get enough fermented smurf berries into their tiny blue bellies and the typical blue-balled smurf will engage in spitroasting, double penetration, sloppy seconds and smurfing anything that even vaguely looks like a female Smurf until, blue in the face. they can take no more.
Ultimately the smurf orgy becomes a free-for-all where they'll smurf just about anything - male smurfs straight or gay, trees, shrubs, stray livestock or anything that moves. If they're intoxicated enough, expect the entire village to be wallowing in Smurf cum, which is as colourful as rainbows and as tasty as candy, but as slippery as silk and as greasy as petroleum jelly.
Vanity Smurf is gay. Sleezy Smurf and Skeezy Smurf are bisexual. A few others are suddenly very openminded when aroused and intoxicated on potent smurfberry wine. To them, a Smurf orgy is orgasmic bliss. In general, though, the skewed demographic numbers and the sheer number of overfilled, hairy blue balls do ensure that the end result is a clusterfuck of smurftastic proportions.
Typically an average Smurf will be walking funny for a week or more once this sorry, unfortunate episode finally ends.
Needless to say, the show's sponsors are typically not amused when the bill arrives to repair the damage to the village. A clusterfuck all around.
Ultimately the smurf orgy becomes a free-for-all where they'll smurf just about anything - male smurfs straight or gay, trees, shrubs, stray livestock or anything that moves. If they're intoxicated enough, expect the entire village to be wallowing in Smurf cum, which is as colourful as rainbows and as tasty as candy, but as slippery as silk and as greasy as petroleum jelly.
Vanity Smurf is gay. Sleezy Smurf and Skeezy Smurf are bisexual. A few others are suddenly very openminded when aroused and intoxicated on potent smurfberry wine. To them, a Smurf orgy is orgasmic bliss. In general, though, the skewed demographic numbers and the sheer number of overfilled, hairy blue balls do ensure that the end result is a clusterfuck of smurftastic proportions.
Typically an average Smurf will be walking funny for a week or more once this sorry, unfortunate episode finally ends.
Needless to say, the show's sponsors are typically not amused when the bill arrives to repair the damage to the village. A clusterfuck all around.
by bitchuck August 01, 2024
A small compact motorcar, manufactured by the Ford Motor Company between 1968-2000 (UK) or 1981-2003 (US) and souped up by dodgy street pimps for use by their working girls.
Known as "painted ladies", the Upscale Escorts are second-hand Ford Escort econoboxes that have been dolled up "Pimp My Ride" style by street pimps.
Clearly painted to look to be something which they are not, the Upscale Escorts are high-maintenance and the cost of "escort service" to keep them running is exorbitant.
Nonetheless, these continue to ply our streets as the only vehicles which the average sex worker can afford.
Clearly painted to look to be something which they are not, the Upscale Escorts are high-maintenance and the cost of "escort service" to keep them running is exorbitant.
Nonetheless, these continue to ply our streets as the only vehicles which the average sex worker can afford.
by bitchuck September 15, 2024
A noted industrialist, socialite, author and porn star, Eileen is the wife of construction magnate Ben Dover. A bisexual power couple, the Dover pair are notable primarily for founding the lift company which bears their name. Their close companions resemble a list of the most distinctive and notable names, including Crystal Shanda Lear - the daughter of LearJet's founding inventor.
Eileen and Ben are also closely associated with the group sex and bukkake lifestyle which they have embraced since the Beatles-inspired orgies of the 1960's with their theme "Come together / Right now / Over me..."
They also built the glory holes which were depicted in Pink Floyd's "The Wall", appearing together in the climactic scene "All and all you're just / Another prick in the wall". This work laid the foundation for Schrödinger's Gloryhole, a scientific principle which states that, if one has no idea whether it's Ben or Eileen behind the hole, that it is possible to be both not-gay and really-really-gay at the same time. The uncertainty only collapses once one knowingly climaxes into one or the other. Best to call out "no homo" at the moment of orgasm as it's a get out of jail free card that always works.
There were numerous pornographic video appearances, including one with Aerosmith titled "Love in an Elevator".
Eileen and Ben are also closely associated with the group sex and bukkake lifestyle which they have embraced since the Beatles-inspired orgies of the 1960's with their theme "Come together / Right now / Over me..."
They also built the glory holes which were depicted in Pink Floyd's "The Wall", appearing together in the climactic scene "All and all you're just / Another prick in the wall". This work laid the foundation for Schrödinger's Gloryhole, a scientific principle which states that, if one has no idea whether it's Ben or Eileen behind the hole, that it is possible to be both not-gay and really-really-gay at the same time. The uncertainty only collapses once one knowingly climaxes into one or the other. Best to call out "no homo" at the moment of orgasm as it's a get out of jail free card that always works.
There were numerous pornographic video appearances, including one with Aerosmith titled "Love in an Elevator".
At a time when most mainstream porn was merely a vintage of sleazy dialogue and cheesy sound which Dover had rejected as elevator music, Eileen's porn with its catchy tune and clever choreography was quite a sensation.
The high point in Eileen's porn career was a video with Dexy's Midnight Runners entitled "Come on Eileen" which starred such notables as Ben Dover, Phil McCracken, Connie Lingus, Phil Attio, Don Keydick and Hugh Jass. The picture was basically a bukkake orgy set to a catchy tune, which Dexy would sing as both Eileen and Ben were thoroughly coated with spooge from every angle:
Come on Eileen
On her face, on her feet
On her breasts, what a mess
We come on Eileen
On her breasts, on her dress
Eileen, what a mess
Ben, lick her clean
We come on Eileen...
As the Dover Elevator made Ben and Eileen a lucrative profit, both could have retired years ago. The ability to bypass the huge 130-foot spiral staircase which laboriously climbed the whitened cliffs of Dover with their mechanised contraption which could pleasurably go down in a manner of a minute or two was innovative and scientifically brilliant.
Nonetheless, Ben and Eileen are still active and erotica or textual pornography continues to be released by mainstream publishers under the pen of Eileen Dover even today. Eileen is also often imitated by her admirers in the LGBTQ community, including a disc jockey from Boston, a drag queen in NYC and a rival queen in Texas. They all want to come on Eileen.
The high point in Eileen's porn career was a video with Dexy's Midnight Runners entitled "Come on Eileen" which starred such notables as Ben Dover, Phil McCracken, Connie Lingus, Phil Attio, Don Keydick and Hugh Jass. The picture was basically a bukkake orgy set to a catchy tune, which Dexy would sing as both Eileen and Ben were thoroughly coated with spooge from every angle:
Come on Eileen
On her face, on her feet
On her breasts, what a mess
We come on Eileen
On her breasts, on her dress
Eileen, what a mess
Ben, lick her clean
We come on Eileen...
As the Dover Elevator made Ben and Eileen a lucrative profit, both could have retired years ago. The ability to bypass the huge 130-foot spiral staircase which laboriously climbed the whitened cliffs of Dover with their mechanised contraption which could pleasurably go down in a manner of a minute or two was innovative and scientifically brilliant.
Nonetheless, Ben and Eileen are still active and erotica or textual pornography continues to be released by mainstream publishers under the pen of Eileen Dover even today. Eileen is also often imitated by her admirers in the LGBTQ community, including a disc jockey from Boston, a drag queen in NYC and a rival queen in Texas. They all want to come on Eileen.
by bitchuck February 14, 2025