A failed 2011 slogan created for Marie Stopes International by comedy music band The Midnight Beast, promoted with a catchy music video. 'One up the bum and it's no harm done, one up the bum and you won't be a mum."
Not reliable advice as there is a risk of "splash conception" (where semen is spilled into the vagina from the anus) and the risk of a sexually transmitted infection is as high or substantially higher compared to any other sexual act.
Enjoy your AIDS.
Not reliable advice as there is a risk of "splash conception" (where semen is spilled into the vagina from the anus) and the risk of a sexually transmitted infection is as high or substantially higher compared to any other sexual act.
Enjoy your AIDS.
"One up the fanny and your mum's a granny" so instead you try kinky bum sex, hoping to avoid pregnancy?
The "one up the bum, no harm done" assumption is not a good idea. Where do you think lawyers come from?
The "one up the bum, no harm done" assumption is not a good idea. Where do you think lawyers come from?
by bitchuck September 05, 2024
A gangbang, clusterfuck, bukkake or mass circle jerk.
Named for the very skewed gender demographics, in which a typical Smurf village might have only one Smurfette for a population of nearly a hundred of the horny, blue-balled fuckers. The end result is these horny fucks will smurf just about anything if deprived of sexual activity for long enough.
Named for the very skewed gender demographics, in which a typical Smurf village might have only one Smurfette for a population of nearly a hundred of the horny, blue-balled fuckers. The end result is these horny fucks will smurf just about anything if deprived of sexual activity for long enough.
Get enough fermented smurf berries into their tiny blue bellies and the typical blue-balled smurf will engage in spitroasting, double penetration, sloppy seconds and smurfing anything that even vaguely looks like a female Smurf until, blue in the face. they can take no more.
Ultimately the smurf orgy becomes a free-for-all where they'll smurf just about anything - male smurfs straight or gay, trees, shrubs, stray livestock or anything that moves. If they're intoxicated enough, expect the entire village to be wallowing in Smurf cum, which is as colourful as rainbows and as tasty as candy, but as slippery as silk and as greasy as petroleum jelly.
Vanity Smurf is gay. Sleezy Smurf and Skeezy Smurf are bisexual. A few others are suddenly very openminded when aroused and intoxicated on potent smurfberry wine. To them, a Smurf orgy is orgasmic bliss. In general, though, the skewed demographic numbers and the sheer number of overfilled, hairy blue balls do ensure that the end result is a clusterfuck of smurftastic proportions.
Typically an average Smurf will be walking funny for a week or more once this sorry, unfortunate episode finally ends.
Needless to say, the show's sponsors are typically not amused when the bill arrives to repair the damage to the village. A clusterfuck all around.
Ultimately the smurf orgy becomes a free-for-all where they'll smurf just about anything - male smurfs straight or gay, trees, shrubs, stray livestock or anything that moves. If they're intoxicated enough, expect the entire village to be wallowing in Smurf cum, which is as colourful as rainbows and as tasty as candy, but as slippery as silk and as greasy as petroleum jelly.
Vanity Smurf is gay. Sleezy Smurf and Skeezy Smurf are bisexual. A few others are suddenly very openminded when aroused and intoxicated on potent smurfberry wine. To them, a Smurf orgy is orgasmic bliss. In general, though, the skewed demographic numbers and the sheer number of overfilled, hairy blue balls do ensure that the end result is a clusterfuck of smurftastic proportions.
Typically an average Smurf will be walking funny for a week or more once this sorry, unfortunate episode finally ends.
Needless to say, the show's sponsors are typically not amused when the bill arrives to repair the damage to the village. A clusterfuck all around.
by bitchuck August 01, 2024
If a creampie is a freshly-inseminated vagina, creampie eating is the act of licking and swallowing semen directly from the vagina. It's the only gentlemanly way to atone for your sins if you come too soon, leaving your partner not yet fully satisfied.
Just kidding. A cream pie is merely an innocent food or dessert choice, in which case creampie eating is merely a way to pack on a few extra pounds or kilogrammes. Even then, expect this to be fetishised: see BBW, big beautiful woman, BBW chaser and feederism for a taste of where this might be going.
by bitchuck March 15, 2024
A rendition of AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap" created by the infamous Bob Rivers.
Likely not safe for work, at least once he sheepishly confesses to pulling the wool over your eyes.
Likely not safe for work, at least once he sheepishly confesses to pulling the wool over your eyes.
If you're havin trouble with you barnyard friends
Youve got a thing for ewes
Been countin sheep but you're not in bed
Heres what you gotta do:
Get out the barn stay off the farm!
Go read a nursery rhyme.
Don't ring 976-BAAA
That kind of loves a crime!
Dirty deeds done with sheep
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep
Dirty deeds done with sheep
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep
My friend Larry has a little lamb
Her fleece is white as snow.
He keeps bragging 'bout her night and day
Someone should tell him, No,
Look at the flock they're all in shock!
Here comes that mutton fan.
Knock off the fleece Give them some peace.
Don't be a barn door man!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Velcro gloves Knee pads Late-night dates
Done with sheep!
Warning signs Electric fences High Voltage!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Don't tell em what I've done to you!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds, done with sheep! Aaaargh!
(Quiet, girls! I think the shepherds coming!)
Youve got a thing for ewes
Been countin sheep but you're not in bed
Heres what you gotta do:
Get out the barn stay off the farm!
Go read a nursery rhyme.
Don't ring 976-BAAA
That kind of loves a crime!
Dirty deeds done with sheep
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep
Dirty deeds done with sheep
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep
My friend Larry has a little lamb
Her fleece is white as snow.
He keeps bragging 'bout her night and day
Someone should tell him, No,
Look at the flock they're all in shock!
Here comes that mutton fan.
Knock off the fleece Give them some peace.
Don't be a barn door man!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Velcro gloves Knee pads Late-night dates
Done with sheep!
Warning signs Electric fences High Voltage!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Don't tell em what I've done to you!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds, done with sheep! Aaaargh!
(Quiet, girls! I think the shepherds coming!)
by bitchuck September 08, 2024
Mondegreen of the phrase "holy matrimony" - most likely as a deliberate Freudian slip, to refer to the state of being married and miserable.
Dost thou take this man to be thy awfully dreaded husband?
Dost thou take this woman to be thy awfully dreaded wife?
By the power vested in me by Church and State, I hereby declare thee joined in holy acrimony. What God hath joined, let no man put asunder.
You may now diss the bride. Amen.
Dost thou take this woman to be thy awfully dreaded wife?
By the power vested in me by Church and State, I hereby declare thee joined in holy acrimony. What God hath joined, let no man put asunder.
You may now diss the bride. Amen.
by bitchuck September 09, 2024
An adept marketer and proponent of the Love Canal.
Generally toxic. You do *not* want to know where that has been.
Generally toxic. You do *not* want to know where that has been.
I tried to elope to Niagara Falls to marry a Hooker. My family disowned me.
"Why are you going to that toxic dump?", they asked. "Nothing good will ever come of this."
"Why are you going to that toxic dump?", they asked. "Nothing good will ever come of this."
by bitchuck May 27, 2025
An ancient Arabian curse which has dogged the Trump party and which will continue to do so effectively and lethally.
The curse that Arabia invoked to defeat Trump's basket of deplorables:
"May the fleas of a thousand Kamalas infest your groinal area,
and may your tiny hands be too inadequate to scratch."
"May the fleas of a thousand Kamalas infest your groinal area,
and may your tiny hands be too inadequate to scratch."
by bitchuck November 01, 2024