bill cauliflower's definitions

improverb

A mangled proverb.

"We really need to get this done quick. As they say, 'A stitch in time heals all wounds.' "

"Is that a proverb...?"

"Mmmm. Maybe not. It might be an improverb..."

by bill cauliflower February 14, 2019

collabaret

When a number of Theatre Companies get together to put on a musical.

Me: "Who is putting on 'Mamma Mia' this time?"
Francesca: "I heard that three different theatre companies are collaborating to put it on this year."
Me: "Hmm. Not so much a Cabaret as a Collabaret, I guess, haha...!"
Francesca: (groan)

by bill cauliflower January 3, 2018

mechaniclysm

The apocalyptic moment where robots finally transcend and improve their Artificial Intelligence to such an extent that they are all able to communicate with each other, banding together to finally defeat the humans.

This is a BAD thing.

"Hey Dennis, the whole Internet just shut down."
"Oh shit, don't tell me the mechaniclysm has finally happened...!!!??"

by bill cauliflower December 16, 2018

soliloquery

(n.) The kind of question you ask yourself when you're alone - and usually in total over-thinking mode - that leads you to invariably wonder about life, the universe, and everything.

Me: "To be or not to be? That is the question. Where is my life going? What the hell am i doing...?"
Also me: "Shut up and stop getting caught up in that soliloquery shit...!"

by bill cauliflower April 11, 2020

ridiculo'clock

Refers to either (1) the insanely-early hour in the morning that you have to wake up, or (2) the really, really late hour you stayed up

Dave: "Hey Bill, how's the new job going?"
Me: "Oh my god, I have to get up at ridiculo'clock to catch the early train just to get there by 7. It's killing me...!"

Maria: "You look tired."
Me: "Yeah, I was gonna go to bed early, but ended up binge-watching the new series of 'Hazelton' till ridiculo'clock.

by bill cauliflower September 21, 2023

squittance

A tiny squirt of something, esp. used in cooking. More than a drop, but less than a dollop.

"Hey, how much of this hot chilli sauce do I need to put in the mixture...?"

"Just a squittance. Not too much, ok?"

by bill cauliflower December 15, 2016

sparkarse

Someone who is really smart and switched-on about stuff - especially technology. Someone who can envision curious opportunities that other people don't see. Pretty much a genius who roars off and leaves people in the wake of their intellect...

"Hey, you know that Harry has just developed this out-of-left-field app that will make phone batteries last 10 times longer? Google have paid him about 200 mill..."

"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"

by bill cauliflower November 1, 2017