bill cauliflower's definitions
A person who - either due to their naturally-pessimistic personality or by temporary difficult circumstances - is gloomy and miserable, and finds it hard to see the positive side of anything.
"Hey Bill, you seem pretty down, what's going on?"
"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."
"Awww. Sorry to hear that."
"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"
"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
"Sorry, I'm a bit of a glumdudgeon at the moment. Lost my job, and then my girlfriend, and it looks like I now need to find another place to live, so everything's totally crappy, really..."
"Awww. Sorry to hear that."
"Mmmmm, thanks. Hey, now that I don't have a girlfriend, do you want to catch up for a drink sometime...?"
"Not til you're well and truly out of that glumdudgeon mode, boyo..."
by bill cauliflower January 25, 2024
Get the Glumdudgeonmug. Someone who is really smart and switched-on about stuff - especially technology. Someone who can envision curious opportunities that other people don't see. Pretty much a genius who roars off and leaves people in the wake of their intellect...
"Hey, you know that Harry has just developed this out-of-left-field app that will make phone batteries last 10 times longer? Google have paid him about 200 mill..."
"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"
"Oh man, brilliant. That guy is such a sparkarse..!"
by bill cauliflower November 1, 2017
Get the sparkarsemug. Me: "Who is putting on 'Mamma Mia' this time?"
Francesca: "I heard that three different theatre companies are collaborating to put it on this year."
Me: "Hmm. Not so much a Cabaret as a Collabaret, I guess, haha...!"
Francesca: (groan)
Francesca: "I heard that three different theatre companies are collaborating to put it on this year."
Me: "Hmm. Not so much a Cabaret as a Collabaret, I guess, haha...!"
Francesca: (groan)
by bill cauliflower January 3, 2018
Get the collabaretmug. "We really need to get this done quick. As they say, 'A stitch in time heals all wounds.' "
"Is that a proverb...?"
"Mmmm. Maybe not. It might be an improverb..."
"Is that a proverb...?"
"Mmmm. Maybe not. It might be an improverb..."
by bill cauliflower February 14, 2019
Get the improverbmug. "Hey, how much of this hot chilli sauce do I need to put in the mixture...?"
"Just a squittance. Not too much, ok?"
"Just a squittance. Not too much, ok?"
by bill cauliflower December 15, 2016
Get the squittancemug. Refers to either (1) the insanely-early hour in the morning that you have to wake up, or (2) the really, really late hour you stayed up
Dave: "Hey Bill, how's the new job going?"
Me: "Oh my god, I have to get up at ridiculo'clock to catch the early train just to get there by 7. It's killing me...!"
Maria: "You look tired."
Me: "Yeah, I was gonna go to bed early, but ended up binge-watching the new series of 'Hazelton' till ridiculo'clock.
Me: "Oh my god, I have to get up at ridiculo'clock to catch the early train just to get there by 7. It's killing me...!"
Maria: "You look tired."
Me: "Yeah, I was gonna go to bed early, but ended up binge-watching the new series of 'Hazelton' till ridiculo'clock.
by bill cauliflower September 21, 2023
Get the ridiculo'clockmug. Inductrination (n.)
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Starting a new job, you're required to attend a one-day 'induction' into the company, and it ends up being an exercise in brain-washing new recruits and indoctrinating them into believing that they are now working for the most awesome business in the universe.
Me: "Hey Dylan, how did Induction Day go at Googbook...?"
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
Dylan: "Oh wow, it's the best company IN THE FRICKEN WORLD dude, the employee benefits are some of the best, offering opportunities for career growth, work that positively impacts the human race, and innovative culture. We have bicycles and electric cars to get staff to meetings, gaming centers, organic gardens, and eco-friendly furnishings, on-site physicians, nurses, medical services, and health care coverage, and we positively impact society with the applications and technology, which benefit the entire human race. Oh, and of course there's the amazing pro..."
Me: "Whoa man, whoa...! Looks like you've been totally brain-washed in a single day. Forget 'induction', that was a goddamn 'inductrination'...!!
by bill cauliflower March 7, 2021
Get the inductrinationmug.