Zelda199's definitions
One of the two genders of all living things, the other being male. Females are physically indentifiable by their sexual organs which differ from a male's (well it's true I'm not being crude on purpose), a female having a vagina and breasts, the latter not being developed until puberty around the early to late teens.
A typical (I said typical!) female will have long hair and softer, more feminine features than a male, and wear more aesthetically pleasing clothing, getting away with colours such as pink or lilac which a male will more than likely get slated for wearing.
A female of any species has the job of giving birth and caring for offspring, except seahorses; the female lays the eggs, the males fertilises them and then carries the fertilised eggs until they develop into baby seahorses and are 'born'. However the 'non-politically correct' job of human females is not only to produce and care for offspring, but not work and stay at home to cook and clean and care for the house. They must also remain faithful to their husband and care for and obey him. But in the last few decades, feminists have become more prominent in society: mainly females but also males intent on getting equal rights for men and women. Sadly in doing so some (not all!) of these feminists, usually the women, have become sexist themselves and slate men at every given opportunity. But if you want to hear more about that then look up male in urban dictionary.
In truth the only differences and inequalities between males and females are the physical ones; general appearance, reproductive organs and stereotypical style. Men and women both have mood swings and hormones. They both can be violent and bad tempered. They both are capable of sleeping around. They both have the capacity to cheat on their significant other or treat them badly. They can both be immature. They both are able to be sexist, racist, prejudiced, unfair, corrupt, discriminating and every other awful thing you can think of. But they can also both be the most beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring, generous and fair people on this earth, if only they'd let go of their unjust ideas and realise: we only live once. There are no second chances. We should be celebrating life, not ending it; we should appreciate every second we are with our loved ones, not abuse them and their trust; we should be making friends with everyone possible, not making enemies with everyone they don't like the look of.
But this is not a rant, it is a definition. If you wanted that, look at the example.
A typical (I said typical!) female will have long hair and softer, more feminine features than a male, and wear more aesthetically pleasing clothing, getting away with colours such as pink or lilac which a male will more than likely get slated for wearing.
A female of any species has the job of giving birth and caring for offspring, except seahorses; the female lays the eggs, the males fertilises them and then carries the fertilised eggs until they develop into baby seahorses and are 'born'. However the 'non-politically correct' job of human females is not only to produce and care for offspring, but not work and stay at home to cook and clean and care for the house. They must also remain faithful to their husband and care for and obey him. But in the last few decades, feminists have become more prominent in society: mainly females but also males intent on getting equal rights for men and women. Sadly in doing so some (not all!) of these feminists, usually the women, have become sexist themselves and slate men at every given opportunity. But if you want to hear more about that then look up male in urban dictionary.
In truth the only differences and inequalities between males and females are the physical ones; general appearance, reproductive organs and stereotypical style. Men and women both have mood swings and hormones. They both can be violent and bad tempered. They both are capable of sleeping around. They both have the capacity to cheat on their significant other or treat them badly. They can both be immature. They both are able to be sexist, racist, prejudiced, unfair, corrupt, discriminating and every other awful thing you can think of. But they can also both be the most beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring, generous and fair people on this earth, if only they'd let go of their unjust ideas and realise: we only live once. There are no second chances. We should be celebrating life, not ending it; we should appreciate every second we are with our loved ones, not abuse them and their trust; we should be making friends with everyone possible, not making enemies with everyone they don't like the look of.
But this is not a rant, it is a definition. If you wanted that, look at the example.
1. A stereotypical female has long hair, is attractive, straight and wears make up and pretty clothing.
by Zelda199 November 25, 2006
Get the female mug.Referred to in popular American sitcom Friends, in which in one episode Phoebe and Joey concoct an 'evil' plan to get Rachel and Ross back together by setting them both up on terrible dates in the hope that they realise how right they are for one another or something.
But anyway, once they have formed the plan Phoebe points out that this means they can do the plan laugh, which is basically an evil laugh which follows the creation of a good ol' fashioned evil plan. Usually used by villains such as Bond villains etc.
It goes a bit like this, "Muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa"
But anyway, once they have formed the plan Phoebe points out that this means they can do the plan laugh, which is basically an evil laugh which follows the creation of a good ol' fashioned evil plan. Usually used by villains such as Bond villains etc.
It goes a bit like this, "Muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa"
Phoebe: Ooooooh, now we get to do the plan laugh!
Joey: How does that go?
Phoebe: Muahahahahahaaaa
Joey: Oh I get it, wohohohohohooooo...
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan.
Joey: How does that go?
Phoebe: Muahahahahahaaaa
Joey: Oh I get it, wohohohohohooooo...
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan.
by Zelda199 January 14, 2007
Get the plan laugh mug.1. When young children ask their parent(s) where babies come from, the most popular lie *ahem* I mean response is to say, "Oh the stork bought you."
A stork is a large white bird which I know little about.
So basically your parents tell you that a giant bird grabbed a small baby in its mouth and randomly bought it to two people. Or one person as the case may be. In reality your parents probably had wild sex and your mom forgot her pill.
2. 'Stork' is also a brand of margerine which comes in round tubs.
3. It could also be a misspelling of stalk, when one person or persons obsess about and attempt to follow another person or persons without detection.
A stork is a large white bird which I know little about.
So basically your parents tell you that a giant bird grabbed a small baby in its mouth and randomly bought it to two people. Or one person as the case may be. In reality your parents probably had wild sex and your mom forgot her pill.
2. 'Stork' is also a brand of margerine which comes in round tubs.
3. It could also be a misspelling of stalk, when one person or persons obsess about and attempt to follow another person or persons without detection.
1. "Mummy, where do babies come from?"
"Oh the stork brought you."
"Do you think I'm stupid mummy, you charge £300 a go."
2. "Yumm, pass the synthetic butter...what's it called?"
"Stork?"
"Yes, I need to smother Stork over myself."
3. "I'm going to stork Jane tonight."
"You mean stalk?"
"Oh shush I'm talking aloud, you can't hear my misspelling!"
"Oh the stork brought you."
"Do you think I'm stupid mummy, you charge £300 a go."
2. "Yumm, pass the synthetic butter...what's it called?"
"Stork?"
"Yes, I need to smother Stork over myself."
3. "I'm going to stork Jane tonight."
"You mean stalk?"
"Oh shush I'm talking aloud, you can't hear my misspelling!"
by Zelda199 March 14, 2007
Get the stork mug.1. A hat of a gay nature in the sense that it is either happy and carefree, ridiculous and stupid, or swings the other way (more than likely a mixture of these three).
2. A hat to be worn by gays ONLY ie people of a homosexual orientation. No exeptions: heterosexuals, bi-sexuals, gay/bi-curious people cannot wear a gay hat. Under penalty of death if this rule is violated. Yes, death.
2. A hat to be worn by gays ONLY ie people of a homosexual orientation. No exeptions: heterosexuals, bi-sexuals, gay/bi-curious people cannot wear a gay hat. Under penalty of death if this rule is violated. Yes, death.
a) "Oh my, you have such a gay hat!"
b) "Have you seen my gay hat? I need it for the seminar, woman!"
b) "Have you seen my gay hat? I need it for the seminar, woman!"
by Zelda199 January 18, 2007
Get the gay hat mug.A polite term for oral sex or a blow job, in which a person kisses, sucks and licks a male's genitalia to give him sexual gratification. Referred to in Family Guy in 'The FCC Song' in which Stewie says of the FCC "...and they'll make you call felatio a trouser-friendly kiss..."
*little Timmy walks in on mommy and daddy doing the wild thing*
Mommy: Erm I was just giving daddy a trouser-friendly kiss.
Mommy: Erm I was just giving daddy a trouser-friendly kiss.
by Zelda199 October 20, 2006
Get the trouser-friendly kiss mug.An expression of shock, anger, surprise or general exclaimation. Sounds like a scream, yell or shout.
by Zelda199 October 20, 2006
Get the argh! mug.I'm sure a die hard Harry Potter fan could define this better.
SPOILERS START HERE, READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WISH TO KNOW SIGNIFICANT THINGS THAT OCCUR IN THE FIFTH AND SIXTH BOOKS.
In the series of Harry Potter books, Grawp (introduced in the fifth book Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) is half-giant Hagrid's half-brother.
At the end of the fourth book The Goblet of Fire, Hagrid and fellow female French half-giant Madame Maxime set out into the mountains of France to try and ally with the alienated giants of the world on behalf of the wizarding world. To cut a long story short, the mission was a failure and the giants were intercepted by Voldemort's servants the Death Eaters.
However while Hagrid was there, he found out that after leaving his father, Hagrid's giantess mother had gone into hiding in the mountains and had a child, Grawp, with another giant before her death. Not having the heart to leave behind his only known remaining relative, his father being dead also, Hagrid sneaks Grawp back to the grounds of Hogwarts and hides his brother in the Forbidden Forest. He attempts to then civilize the giant, incurring serious injuries which do not go unnoticed by his student friends Harry, Ron and Hermione. When Hagrid goes into hiding (for reasons I forget), Hermione and Harry are left to give him 'lessons' which they conveniently forget to do.
However after Harry and Hermione are cornered in the Forbidden Forest by centaurs, Grawp saves their lives.
He then doesn't appear again until the end of the sixth book, attending Dumbledore's funeral considerably more civil than when we first meet him.
SPOILERS START HERE, READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WISH TO KNOW SIGNIFICANT THINGS THAT OCCUR IN THE FIFTH AND SIXTH BOOKS.
In the series of Harry Potter books, Grawp (introduced in the fifth book Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) is half-giant Hagrid's half-brother.
At the end of the fourth book The Goblet of Fire, Hagrid and fellow female French half-giant Madame Maxime set out into the mountains of France to try and ally with the alienated giants of the world on behalf of the wizarding world. To cut a long story short, the mission was a failure and the giants were intercepted by Voldemort's servants the Death Eaters.
However while Hagrid was there, he found out that after leaving his father, Hagrid's giantess mother had gone into hiding in the mountains and had a child, Grawp, with another giant before her death. Not having the heart to leave behind his only known remaining relative, his father being dead also, Hagrid sneaks Grawp back to the grounds of Hogwarts and hides his brother in the Forbidden Forest. He attempts to then civilize the giant, incurring serious injuries which do not go unnoticed by his student friends Harry, Ron and Hermione. When Hagrid goes into hiding (for reasons I forget), Hermione and Harry are left to give him 'lessons' which they conveniently forget to do.
However after Harry and Hermione are cornered in the Forbidden Forest by centaurs, Grawp saves their lives.
He then doesn't appear again until the end of the sixth book, attending Dumbledore's funeral considerably more civil than when we first meet him.
Grawp is Hagrid's half-brother.
by Zelda199 November 17, 2006
Get the grawp mug.