Little Swimmers

Male sperm cells.

Last night I was laying in my bed masturbating.

I finished off with a kleenex full of little swimmers.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 05, 2009

Sexy Topless Dancer

A nice and discreet way of referring to a female with an STD.

Phil: "Hey man, have you gotten around the bases yet with that hot babe you met at the bar last week?"

Steve: "No brother, I slid into third because I heard she's a sexy topless dancer."

Phil: "Ahhh OK. You don't want those crotch critters."

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J February 25, 2009

Fartion

Pronounced FAR-shun. Rationing a fart in order to use it at a more "appropriate" time.

I had bad gas while sitting at my desk so I fartioned it to use while in the elevator with my boss later.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 18, 2009

Pornogram

A 3-dimensional hologram of at least one person engaging in a sexual act.

Porn of the future.

I masturbate every night to the pornogram my girlfriend gave me before she left for college.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J December 05, 2010

Splooge Deuce

Masturbating while pooping. Killing 2 turds and 1 bone. The splooge deuce can be enjoyed by both males and females. It is most enjoyable when you time your orgasm as you pinch a turd off.

My girlfriend and I were making out but because of her menstrual cycle and the diarrhea that accompanies it, we could not make love that night so instead we went into the bathroom together and watched eachother enjoy a splooge deuce.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 02, 2009

Hypersext

The abundance of links on a pornographic webpage.

Anal
Boobs
Cumshots
Doggy Style
Extreme
Fetish
Golden Showers
Harcore
etc.

This would be an example of hypersext links.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J March 11, 2009

Monday Mudslide

The diarrhea which usually follows a weekend of drinking and poor eating. Often not painful, but rather extremely relieving and requiring of multiple flushes to fully dispose of.

Boss: "Late to work on a Monday again Phil?"
Me: "Sorry but I had a Monday mudslide and my girlfriend threatened to break up with me if didn't clean the bowl afterward."

Culver's drive thru girl: "Hi welcome to Culver's, would you like to try our flavor of the day Monday Mudslide?"
Me: "I already had one this morning so no thanks but I'll take a hot fudge sundae"

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J July 18, 2011