Whiskey Drinker Me's definitions

Skippies

Unlike a previous definition given by "Alex", this term is definitely NOT circa 1990's. The first known reference to skippies occurred in the mid to late 1970's, and refers to a low-cost type of shoe, most often unnamed, or off-brand, such as pro-max, roos, or some other imitation. Usually having plastic soles, poor construction, and fake leather exterior, and also very poor support of the foot. Although usually sold as athletic shoes, these were the absolute worst choice of footwear for athletes, as the soles would not grip surfaces intended for sports. Often, they would leave scuff marks on floors from the simple act of walking, and they made a clomping sound when walking in hallways of places like schools. This attracted attention from cruel kids, who most often teased the less fortunate for having to wear them.

Side Note from the Definer: Bullying is cruel and affective to sensitive children, but it is also a part of social learning, and self awareness. It is important to allow our children to learn these traits in the world we live in, or they will be devoured in the world yet to come. We are not raising a nation of cry-babies. We should teach them to be warriors. I learned my most important lessons from being a victim of bullies during my youth. Today, no one would dare challenge me in that way. I would swallow them whole without remorse.

Skippies... Make your mama look fine, Skippies, get ya behind in the line, Skippies, cost a dollar ninety nine. Skippieeeeeees!

by Whiskey Drinker Me September 8, 2020

Whiskey Time-Machine

(Abstract/noun/adj/slg)- when you've spent so much of your life wasted on whiskey and alcoholic similes, you awaken one day to realize you are now 50 years old and your sweet children have grown to adulthood without your guidance or parental presence. No matter how bad you want to wind back the clock, the time machine has broken, and you are stuck in nightmare land.

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Sam Fukkit stepped into the whiskey time-machine accelerator... and vanished. Oh boy.

by Whiskey Drinker Me September 8, 2020

Two-popper

Word used to describe a fart that barely has enough oomph to push your ass cheeks apart to escape, and ends up being short and faint, but has just enough audibility to pop twice. Hence it is a two-pop fart, or a "Two-popper".

After the chili-bean surprise, Robbie let off a series of two-poppers that could've peeled the paint off the wall.

by Whiskey Drinker Me July 14, 2010

roadkill cafe

Any number of "hole-in-the-wall" diners that you would find nestled at roadside along long stretches of secondary roads and highways, usually in lowly populated towns, that serve a variety of mysterious dishes and desserts cleverly disguised as home cooking.

Halfway through the trip through Nevada, our sandwich supply diminished and we were forced to stop at a roadkill cafe, which surprisingly, served a scrumptious armadillo waffle.

by Whiskey Drinker Me January 13, 2010

bathroom camper

A person who, for reasons yet unknown, will always spend no less than 30 minutes in the bathroom, no matter what they originally went in to do. You can always tell who's going camping in the shitter, as they will usually be carrying a "survival kit", which includes at least one of the following; a crossword book, a newspaper, a magazine, or in extreme cases, a sandwich.

If I'd have known that Jared was a bathroom camper, I would've tried to get first dibs on the thrown.

by Whiskey Drinker Me January 12, 2010

Dolittle

Term used to describe and refer to a person, in any given situation where work is involved, who does as little as they possibly can without getting reprimanded, fired, or noticed by the people who are actually doing the real work. You can generally find dolittles at the water fountain, in the bathroom, at the snack machines, or fumbling around somewhere with some unimportant task, trying to look busy. Every workplace, and every job where a group of 4 or more people are involved has at least one dolittle.

Boss- "Hey Rob, I need you to run down to the store and pick up lunch for the crew."

Rob - "I'm busy, get one of the dolittles to do it."

by Whiskey Drinker Me January 11, 2010

racial slur

Aside from its usual definition, a racial slur is also what happens when you mix rednecks, NASCAR, and mass quantities of alcohol. Everyone is incoherently slurring about the race, when in actuality, no one has a damn clue who's in the lead or what the point standings are, nor does anyone really give a shit.

Examples of Racial Slurs:

Lap 1, Billy Bob - "Jimmy Johnson's taking this one all the way!"

Lap 1, Jimbo - "I concur, but Tony Stewart has just as much of a chance as any other guy out there."

Lap 119, Billy Bob - "Ib ert shnell mmm, (hic) mmbobble sox."

Lap 119, Jimbo - "Yeeeerrrp, sho mmbrithen gnop shtorin(BUUUURRRRRP)."

by Whiskey Drinker Me January 11, 2010