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Old geezer: So how was your first day cleaning the bathrooms at Swallow's gay bar?
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 2, 2019
Get the Pushing poo mug."When the shit hits the fan" is the vulgar and more satisfying term for a situation that suddenly gets messy. It gives you an idea of just how messy a situation by comparing it to being in a small room when a handful of loose feces are launched into the spinning fan blades.
1: When that silly old bitch pranged John's prized Mercedes in the parking lot and then tried to take off, shit really hit the fan. I though he was gonna kill her.
2: Where's our fucking money?! You better have it, or the shit is gonna hit the fan, believe you me!!
3: I lost everything back in 2008 when the shit hit the fan. Just like a lot of people.
2: Where's our fucking money?! You better have it, or the shit is gonna hit the fan, believe you me!!
3: I lost everything back in 2008 when the shit hit the fan. Just like a lot of people.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 February 26, 2020
Get the Shit hit the fan mug.“Oh for fuck sake” is probably the first things one shouts out whenever times are tough and he/she just can’t handle it.
Person 1: OMG!! That stupid bastard has just reversed into your new Jaguar. Person 2: Oh for fuck sake!!
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 28, 2018
Get the Fuck sake mug.Person 1: Say, look at those silly little teenagers over there wearing hoodies. Person 2: Yeah! stupid chavs think that their the shit, they don’t scare us.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 28, 2018
Get the Chav mug.Person 1: Did that asshole drunk driver who killed your son get life behind bars?. Person 2: I wish, Instead he received a hefty fine and was banned from driving for 5 years. Good old justice is no more.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
Get the Banned mug.To be sexually attracted to people’s feet. The foot fetish is probably the most common of all the fetishes.
Hotel manager: I had to fire John the porter today. I caught him going into guest’s rooms at night to sniff their feet.
Hotel Janitor: That’s fucking vile, I always knew that guy had a foot fetish. I’m so glad you fired him Mr Shipley.
Hotel manager: Me too, and I will report him to the police. Now in the meantime let’s all get to work, we’ve got a big day.
Hotel Janitor: That’s fucking vile, I always knew that guy had a foot fetish. I’m so glad you fired him Mr Shipley.
Hotel manager: Me too, and I will report him to the police. Now in the meantime let’s all get to work, we’ve got a big day.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
Get the Foot fetish mug.School Kid: “Mr Wheeler, what are qualifications?”
Mr Wheeler: “Unbelievable!! I can tell you’ve never listened to anything I say during lessons. It’s pointless teaching you and nobody ever going to employ you because you’re so bone”.
Mr Wheeler: “Unbelievable!! I can tell you’ve never listened to anything I say during lessons. It’s pointless teaching you and nobody ever going to employ you because you’re so bone”.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
Get the Bone mug.