Did you hear about Randall? His foreskin tore during sex. He had to drive home with a towel on the seat so it wouldn't get stained with the neverending stream of seeping dick blood.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 November 09, 2018
Old geezer: So how was your first day cleaning the bathrooms at Swallow's gay bar?
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 02, 2019
The Office, Probably the most boring and soul destroying place on Planet Earth. It’s Usually a dull coloured room with cheap desks, crap computers, uncomfortable weak chairs, vile tasting coffee, work colleagues who are just as miserable as you are, and a boss who constantly breathes down your neck and watches you waste so many years of your short life for bare minimum wage.
Stan: “Shit!! It’s Monday morning and time to get up. I’ve been throwing my life away in that office for 15 years now and im so tired of it. There’s a whole world out there to see and yet I’m chained to that desk for 9 hours every day”.
Rowena: “Well I know it’s bad and that unfortunately is what it’s like going to work. Anyway you best get up Stan, wouldn’t wanna be late for that meeting with Mr Shipley now would you?”
Stan: “Ohhh please just shoot me!!”
Rowena: “Well I know it’s bad and that unfortunately is what it’s like going to work. Anyway you best get up Stan, wouldn’t wanna be late for that meeting with Mr Shipley now would you?”
Stan: “Ohhh please just shoot me!!”
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
The word Bespoke came from the 1600's and meant something had "Been spoken for."
The modern use of the word bespoke means to be custom made exactly to a customers personal preference with absolutely no level of detail or expense spared.
The modern use of the word bespoke means to be custom made exactly to a customers personal preference with absolutely no level of detail or expense spared.
I went to Honk Kong to buy a beautiful bespoke tailor made suit. Even with the travel and hotel costs, it was still a fraction of the cost of what it would be to have one made by a tailor on Savile Row.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 26, 2018
Person 1: Say, look at those silly little teenagers over there wearing hoodies. Person 2: Yeah! stupid chavs think that their the shit, they don’t scare us.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 28, 2018
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
The Hells Angels are worlds most famous motorcycle club.
Members must own a Harley Davidson.
Hells Angels are the people who you just don’t wanna fuck with.
Members must own a Harley Davidson.
Hells Angels are the people who you just don’t wanna fuck with.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018