Person 1: Say, look at those silly little teenagers over there wearing hoodies. Person 2: Yeah! stupid chavs think that their the shit, they don’t scare us.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
Person 1: Did that asshole drunk driver who killed your son get life behind bars?. Person 2: I wish, Instead he received a hefty fine and was banned from driving for 5 years. Good old justice is no more.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
Old geezer: So how was your first day cleaning the bathrooms at Swallow's gay bar?
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 02, 2019
John: “Honey, I’m afraid I curbed one of the wheels on our car today. I’m so sorry”.
Toni: “Really? Shit!!!, Well that’s life I guess”.
Toni: “Really? Shit!!!, Well that’s life I guess”.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
School Kid: “Mr Wheeler, what are qualifications?”
Mr Wheeler: “Unbelievable!! I can tell you’ve never listened to anything I say during lessons. It’s pointless teaching you and nobody ever going to employ you because you’re so bone”.
Mr Wheeler: “Unbelievable!! I can tell you’ve never listened to anything I say during lessons. It’s pointless teaching you and nobody ever going to employ you because you’re so bone”.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
To arrange to meet up with someone you supposedly fancy, then suddenly get cold feet and fuck off into the sunset, never to been seen or heard from again.
Something a decent human being should never do.
Something a decent human being should never do.
Mr No Balls: I'm so nervous I've got the shits, I don't think I can go to the restaurant to see her tonight.
Sibling: Ohhhh man up No Balls!! You have to go. Ghosting is totally frowned upon. You've got to be there in an hour, put your suit on and get in the fucking car.
Mr No Balls: But but I I I d don't think I c c.
Sibling: NOW!!!
Sibling: Ohhhh man up No Balls!! You have to go. Ghosting is totally frowned upon. You've got to be there in an hour, put your suit on and get in the fucking car.
Mr No Balls: But but I I I d don't think I c c.
Sibling: NOW!!!
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 25, 2018