Uncle Des's definitions

Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancy

The way you can say "Same Shit: Different Day" to family, friends, boss, co-workers, priests, cops, Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin etc and sound highly literate.

It even has the same acronym (SSDD).

Scholar 1: "How goes the research into Shakespeare's use of Jungian allegory in his tragedies?"

Scholar 2: "Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancy."

Scholar 3: "Ah yes, indeed." (Cluemeter reading zero)

by Uncle Des September 4, 2010

Canadian Air-Conditioning

Driving with one arm hanging out of your car window, cos your chiller broke.

Guy1: "Why's your right arm brown?"
Guy2: "We lost the air-conditioner in Dave's Pinto, so he drove us from Dallas to Houston in mid-summer with only Canadian air-conditioning and frequent beer stops to keep us frosty. It was hell."

by Uncle Des September 2, 2009

Outlet Shopping

When your cell phone, iPod or computer battery is just about to die, and you are engaged in a frantic hunt for an electrical socket to plug it into at an airport, you're "outlet shopping".

"Man, my phone gave up the ghost at LaGuardia, and I was outlet shopping for 15 minutes 'cos none of these geeks would let me plug in..."

by Uncle Des June 27, 2009

Utica

Like being dead, but without the fun.

"I died and went to Utica."

"Utica failed in its bid to be twinned with Pluto"

by Uncle Des November 25, 2009

In-law in-law

Your spouse's brother's/sister's spouse. Basically someone who will never be related to your kids, so you don't have to give a shit about. The feeling is mutual.

Your Wife: "My brother Todd's wife is such a cow!"

You: "Who gives a rat's? She's my in-law in-law."

by Uncle Des August 9, 2010

Hearing Aid

Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.

Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."

by Uncle Des August 21, 2009

Bejeweled Blitz

A Facebook game that is like crack for housewives.

Me at 7:00am: "See you later honey. Don't play Bejeweled Blitz."
Her: "'Kay. 'Bye" She goes to computer
Me at 6:00pm: "I'm back. Honey: the house burned down and the kids are gone!!!!"
Her: "Shelly just got 127,000! I've got to beat her..."

by Uncle Des July 12, 2009