Uncle Des's definitions
Me at 7:00am: "See you later honey. Don't play Bejeweled Blitz."
Her: "'Kay. 'Bye" She goes to computer
Me at 6:00pm: "I'm back. Honey: the house burned down and the kids are gone!!!!"
Her: "Shelly just got 127,000! I've got to beat her..."
Her: "'Kay. 'Bye" She goes to computer
Me at 6:00pm: "I'm back. Honey: the house burned down and the kids are gone!!!!"
Her: "Shelly just got 127,000! I've got to beat her..."
by Uncle Des July 12, 2009
Get the Bejeweled Blitzmug. Basically what a booth babe turns into while you're at other tradeshows. Much in evidence due to the poor economy.
She's been divorced at least once; smokes; has a peeling tan; hugs every man she gets close to and the perfect specimen has both a stupid name (or a good name spelled oddly) and a job title that is actually one step up from receptionist if you look at it too closely enough.
She's been divorced at least once; smokes; has a peeling tan; hugs every man she gets close to and the perfect specimen has both a stupid name (or a good name spelled oddly) and a job title that is actually one step up from receptionist if you look at it too closely enough.
Salesguy: "Hey, meet Janneene. She's our Director of Marcom Integration."
You: "Behind the booth slapper?!"
You: "Behind the booth slapper?!"
by Uncle Des July 18, 2009
Get the Booth Slappermug. Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.
Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."
by Uncle Des August 21, 2009
Get the Hearing Aidmug. When your cell phone, iPod or computer battery is just about to die, and you are engaged in a frantic hunt for an electrical socket to plug it into at an airport, you're "outlet shopping".
"Man, my phone gave up the ghost at LaGuardia, and I was outlet shopping for 15 minutes 'cos none of these geeks would let me plug in..."
by Uncle Des June 27, 2009
Get the Outlet Shoppingmug. KIMP = "Kittens I'd Murder for a Pizza"
When traveling overseas for a long time, you finally get to a point when you have had enough foreign food and actually, biologically, NEED a pizza. How many kittens would you murder for one? That's the KIMP factor.
By the time you reach a KIMP factor of 10: it's time to come home.
When traveling overseas for a long time, you finally get to a point when you have had enough foreign food and actually, biologically, NEED a pizza. How many kittens would you murder for one? That's the KIMP factor.
By the time you reach a KIMP factor of 10: it's time to come home.
I spent three weeks in Shanghai, and after only 4 days was up to a KIMP factor of 5. The rest of the time was NOT good.
by Uncle Des July 22, 2010
Get the KIMP Factormug. Wife of Des: "I've finally got my special room sorted out"
Des: "Great. So I've got my man-cave and you're got your woman-hole."
Wife of Des: Silence: stares at Des
Des: "What??!!"
Des: "Great. So I've got my man-cave and you're got your woman-hole."
Wife of Des: Silence: stares at Des
Des: "What??!!"
by Uncle Des December 4, 2010
Get the Woman-Holemug. The way you can say "Same Shit: Different Day" to family, friends, boss, co-workers, priests, cops, Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin etc and sound highly literate.
It even has the same acronym (SSDD).
It even has the same acronym (SSDD).
Scholar 1: "How goes the research into Shakespeare's use of Jungian allegory in his tragedies?"
Scholar 2: "Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancy."
Scholar 3: "Ah yes, indeed." (Cluemeter reading zero)
Scholar 2: "Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancy."
Scholar 3: "Ah yes, indeed." (Cluemeter reading zero)
by Uncle Des September 4, 2010
Get the Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancymug.