Thefuckersattheendofthetable's definitions

Shartwork

When you release your bowels on the wall and make a beautiful work of art out of it.

Billy: What's with all this shit on the wall?
Jared: Get this through your head: this isn't just shit, this is some high quality shartwork.
Billy: This still looks like shit.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable May 12, 2015

Granny Gum Jobs

A blowjob from an old lady who has no teeth. The lack of teeth makes the experience awesome, however the incident is too embarrassing to tell your squad.

The granny gum jobs from old lady Jenkins was probably more erotic than anything I've ever had.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable May 8, 2015

Dick Nozzle

The small hole at the end of your uncircumcised penis which allows both piss and semen to shoot out at high velocities, in a similar fashion to a fire hose.

Johnny's dick nozzle is so powerful he hit Margaret's eye from 20 feet off.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable May 6, 2015

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

Litmus Pussy

When you are unsure whether or not you have an STD, so you fuck a chick and tell her 6 months later that she should get checked out because you may have an STD. You then use her test to see if you have an STD.

Debby was the best litmus pussy ever. She got checked out the day I called her.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable May 8, 2015

Train Brain

Similar to road head, train brain is getting a blowjob on an extremely crowded train.

Carl: Dude, I got the sickest train brain yesterday.
Chad: Nice, what happened?
Carl: I ended up cumming on the guy standing next to me and getting kicked off the train.
Chad: Gnarly.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable May 6, 2015

Saltwater Snuggle

When you are fucking in saltwater and your penis get locked in her pussy for an extended period of time. As you struggle to get your penis loose, oftentimes a gang of Dolphins show up and rape both you and your partner.

Melanie and I had a crazy Saltwater Snuggle the other day, where my dick got so stuck that 3 dolphins had enough time finish off in my ass.

by Thefuckersattheendofthetable May 6, 2015