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Thefuckersattheendofthetable's definitions

Penis Flytrap

A vagina which clasps around your dick, right before you cum, so that you have to nut inside of it. Your dick also begins to get digested by the vagina after a short time.
Quin: hey, I heard you got stuck in a penis flytrap the other day.

Drew: yeah, it was crazy. I had to knock that bitch out and tease her pussy lips open so I could free my dick.

Quin: wow, that's scary...
Drew: but, I still finished.
Quin: nice
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Granny Gum Jobs

A blowjob from an old lady who has no teeth. The lack of teeth makes the experience awesome, however the incident is too embarrassing to tell your squad.
The granny gum jobs from old lady Jenkins was probably more erotic than anything I've ever had.
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Allahu Cockbar

When an orgasm is so goddamn incredible, the first instinct is to commit a suicide bombing.
Q: Did you see that bomb that went off?
A: I was right next to it! The guy was justified though. I heard him scream Allahu Cockbar! before he blew. So the fucker must have just hit some fine pussy.
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Litmus Pussy

When you are unsure whether or not you have an STD, so you fuck a chick and tell her 6 months later that she should get checked out because you may have an STD. You then use her test to see if you have an STD.
Debby was the best litmus pussy ever. She got checked out the day I called her.
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Train Brain

Similar to road head, train brain is getting a blowjob on an extremely crowded train.
Carl: Dude, I got the sickest train brain yesterday.
Chad: Nice, what happened?
Carl: I ended up cumming on the guy standing next to me and getting kicked off the train.
Chad: Gnarly.
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Yodelgasm

A blistering orgasm which results in an extreme yodel.
I had the most intense Yodelgasm the other day. The neighbor called and thought I was being brutally murdered.
by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016
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Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.
Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016
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