Squid Wrangler's definitions

free republic

Every conservative's favorite porn site.

I caught Jeff beating off to Free Republic

by Squid Wrangler March 27, 2005

Libertarian

Derogatory term used for someone who perennially loses. Is also a political party. Same attributes apply.

Person A: "Dude, you are such a Libertarian"
Person B: "I hate you"

Person A: "I don't support either of those fascists man, I'm voting Libertarian."
Person B: "...Sorry"

by Squid Wrangler March 26, 2005

zell miller

Generous old boll-weevil Democrat who praised John Kerry as an "authentic national hero" and said that he was "one of the party's best-known and greatest leaders-and a good friend" as well as asserting that "John has worked to strengthen our military, reform public education, boost the economy and protect the environment" at a dinner in his home state of Georgia in the year 2001. Thanks for the kind words, Zell.

I sure hope Zell Miller never goes on a half-coherent tirade at the Republican National Convention and betrays his own party as well as John Kerry, whom he has referred to as a good friend.

by Squid Wrangler March 28, 2005

limp bizkit

The most terrible band of the past 15 years. Everything about them sucks. This fact has been well documented in countless web pages, reviews, and articles all over the Internet so I won't go into many details. Fred Durst is a closet egomaniac; the fact that he just happened to be oafing around in the right place at the right time when the music industry went through another in a long series of bizarre, unexpected detours through inexplicable-trend-land and the spotlight fell on dudes with baggy pants, downtuned guitars, and borderline-retarded grunting in place of actual vocals has filled him with the worst kind of foolish, brash pride that has been well documented by concert promoters, radio staff, and various other industry insiders. Wes Borland is not talented; he just owns a lot of stomp boxes. I'm not a "hater"; I just have ears. Their new record, which appears to be some kind of awful attempt at making a political/social statement, debuted at #24 on the Billboard Top 200 and sold about 37,000 copies it's first week out, which subsequently slid to 12,000 copies when week two rolled around. Ouch. So much for "still raking in millions", right Chase?

Fred Durst was raised in Gastonia, North Carolina; a town about an hour from where I live. This fact fills me with shame.

by Squid Wrangler June 30, 2005

lollapalooza

A tour that Nirvana was supposed to headline in 1994. I think we all know how that played out.

Kurt Cobain's death cast a dark shadow over Lollapalooza 1994.

by Squid Wrangler May 8, 2005

Patriots

The recipients of a long-deserved ass kicking from the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. 27-17. The NFL's so-called greatest quarterback was sacked twice and picked off by the league's best defense while their rushing game was held back to sub-40 yards. The sheer joy of seeing Tom Brady weeping like a little girl on the sidelines as the fourth quarter wound down was almost overwhelming.

Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, Ricky Proehl, Julius Peppers, Mike Rucker, Will Witherspoon, and Ken Lucas owned the Patriots.

by Squid Wrangler December 28, 2005

My Chemical Romance

A member of the tremendous battalion of lame New Jersey post-hardcore/power pop/blargh/pseudo-genre bending radio-friendly over-produced bands that have recently broken into the American mainstream in an unexpected manner. One of the many bands who are worshipped by legions of former preps who now wear studded belts, Chuck Taylors, and check their Myspace account every six minutes. Fans of My Chemical Romance are usually in-between everything. They're too "refined" to like Linkin Park, Korn, and other ultra-mainstream angst-peddlers but too dense and flat to really do much more than haphazardly dabble in bands that are somewhat more challenging to get into, such as pre-"Dark Side of the Moon" Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth.

My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.

Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart

And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"

Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.

People who like My Chemical Romance were probably listening to Linkin Park three years ago.

by Squid Wrangler May 13, 2005