27 definitions by Squid Wrangler

A tour that Nirvana was supposed to headline in 1994. I think we all know how that played out.
Kurt Cobain's death cast a dark shadow over Lollapalooza 1994.
by Squid Wrangler May 9, 2005
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Jewish comic who makes a living by screaming his head off about things that everyone already knows anyway. Lewis Black is occasionally very funny and thought-provoking in his approach but some of his jokes miss the mark and his angry persona wears off on a viewer over time. His piece on the Daily Show far outshines his stand-up specials because they're just long enough to be entertaining without being grating. Can best be thought of as a stand-up version of Maddox. A tad overrated in many of the same areas as the late Mitch Hedberg.
Although I prefer his segments on the Daily Show, Lewis Black's best stand-up effort in my opinion is "The End."
by Squid Wrangler April 13, 2005
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The red herring to end all red herrings.
"Breaking News tonight as the GOP has called for deregulation of the straw man industry..."
by Squid Wrangler May 10, 2005
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Derogatory term used for someone who perennially loses. Is also a political party. Same attributes apply.
Person A: "Dude, you are such a Libertarian"
Person B: "I hate you"

Person A: "I don't support either of those fascists man, I'm voting Libertarian."
Person B: "...Sorry"
by Squid Wrangler March 26, 2005
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The most terrible band of the past 15 years. Everything about them sucks. This fact has been well documented in countless web pages, reviews, and articles all over the Internet so I won't go into many details. Fred Durst is a closet egomaniac; the fact that he just happened to be oafing around in the right place at the right time when the music industry went through another in a long series of bizarre, unexpected detours through inexplicable-trend-land and the spotlight fell on dudes with baggy pants, downtuned guitars, and borderline-retarded grunting in place of actual vocals has filled him with the worst kind of foolish, brash pride that has been well documented by concert promoters, radio staff, and various other industry insiders. Wes Borland is not talented; he just owns a lot of stomp boxes. I'm not a "hater"; I just have ears. Their new record, which appears to be some kind of awful attempt at making a political/social statement, debuted at #24 on the Billboard Top 200 and sold about 37,000 copies it's first week out, which subsequently slid to 12,000 copies when week two rolled around. Ouch. So much for "still raking in millions", right Chase?
Fred Durst was raised in Gastonia, North Carolina; a town about an hour from where I live. This fact fills me with shame.
by Squid Wrangler June 21, 2005
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A member of the tremendous battalion of lame New Jersey post-hardcore/power pop/blargh/pseudo-genre bending radio-friendly over-produced bands that have recently broken into the American mainstream in an unexpected manner. One of the many bands who are worshipped by legions of former preps who now wear studded belts, Chuck Taylors, and check their Myspace account every six minutes. Fans of My Chemical Romance are usually in-between everything. They're too "refined" to like Linkin Park, Korn, and other ultra-mainstream angst-peddlers but too dense and flat to really do much more than haphazardly dabble in bands that are somewhat more challenging to get into, such as pre-"Dark Side of the Moon" Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth.

My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.

Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart

And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"

Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
People who like My Chemical Romance were probably listening to Linkin Park three years ago.
by Squid Wrangler May 11, 2005
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Arctic National Wildlife Refuge; recently opened for oil drilling with the full support of the Republican majority in the Senate. An area from which 60% of the oil excavated will be exported to other nations rather than, as the Republicans are selling it, used as "a first step towards energy independence". The United States Geological Survey has found that the accurate amount of usable oil to be found in ANWR is roughly 3.2 billion barrels, or a six-month supply if 100% of this oil was to be used domestically, which it won't be. This figure varies startlingly with the severely faulty figure of 16 billion barrels that pro-drilling Alaskan Senator Murkowski frequently mentions. The amount of wildlife found in the area and the myriad ways in which the region will be damaged by oil drilling are played down as much as possible by Republicans and others in favor of drilling, although numerous studies and reports have found that the area would be irreversibly affected by such drilling. Populations of Caribou and fish that native tribes such as the Gwich'in rely on for food and other practical purposes would be dented considerably. A piece of land that was to go untainted by the malicious grope of corporate greed until the GOP took power once more.
"Good steward of the land" my ass, Mr. Bush.
by Squid Wrangler April 23, 2005
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