A play on word jumpscare from horror genre media.
A fart that makes the people who hear it flinch, because it's very loud and came from someone they thought was asleep or didn't know was there.
This is why you should always use your abs and fart as loudly as possible. Accidentally crapping your pants must be an urban legend. It would've happened to me a hundred times by now if it was a real thing.
A fart that makes the people who hear it flinch, because it's very loud and came from someone they thought was asleep or didn't know was there.
This is why you should always use your abs and fart as loudly as possible. Accidentally crapping your pants must be an urban legend. It would've happened to me a hundred times by now if it was a real thing.
(Wake up in bed, hear wife nearby on couch, fire off fartillery shell)
Wife: "Omg you scared the baby! He jumped!" (the baby is a cat)
Me: "Oh no!! I'm sorry kitty!!
(after consoling the baby, we realize it was funny, and wife is a Five Nights at Freddy's fan)
Me: "It was a rumpscare"
Wife: "Omg you scared the baby! He jumped!" (the baby is a cat)
Me: "Oh no!! I'm sorry kitty!!
(after consoling the baby, we realize it was funny, and wife is a Five Nights at Freddy's fan)
Me: "It was a rumpscare"
by Some random person, idfk April 21, 2024
An upgraded version of small dick energy.
Assholes feel like less of an asshole if they believe the person they're being an asshole to is also an asshole. Don't let them have that.
If you say small dick energy, they can say it's body shaming. It makes them feel like they're not an asshole because you're an asshole too.
But Dry Dick Energy means there's never any pussy juice on their dick (or lube if they like guys). This insult targets their incompetence, which is within their control.
(Whispering) They're actually not wrong about the body shaming thing, but that's not gonna help them anymore after we've made this change.
Assholes feel like less of an asshole if they believe the person they're being an asshole to is also an asshole. Don't let them have that.
If you say small dick energy, they can say it's body shaming. It makes them feel like they're not an asshole because you're an asshole too.
But Dry Dick Energy means there's never any pussy juice on their dick (or lube if they like guys). This insult targets their incompetence, which is within their control.
(Whispering) They're actually not wrong about the body shaming thing, but that's not gonna help them anymore after we've made this change.
(Girl posts sexy pic on social media)
Asshole: Reporting this. You're 27 now, and you can't get implants until you're 18. So all that plastic in your ass is way too young to be in this picture.
Rando 1: Small dick energy so intense it's charging up my phone battery. Say more.
Rando 2: More like Dry Dick Energy. Size hardly matters with a personality like that. A Pringles can is no better than a TicTac if nobody's ever gonna touch it.
Asshole: Reporting this. You're 27 now, and you can't get implants until you're 18. So all that plastic in your ass is way too young to be in this picture.
Rando 1: Small dick energy so intense it's charging up my phone battery. Say more.
Rando 2: More like Dry Dick Energy. Size hardly matters with a personality like that. A Pringles can is no better than a TicTac if nobody's ever gonna touch it.
by Some random person, idfk August 12, 2023
Every time a discussion about fetishes and sexual fantasies happens online, there is inevitably that one douchebag who acts like being kinky is a contest and calls everyone else's fantasies and fetishes boring and vanilla no matter what they are.
Someone:"I want to be beaten with a whip so hard that I bleed and it leaves scars"
Alpha Kinkster: "You think that's kinky?? Vanilla af!"
Someone else "I want to deepthroat a guy so deep that I throw up"
AK: "And you don't continue after you barf? Laaaame"
A third someone "I want to be tied upside-down with duct tape to a tree and have a midget amputee tear my genitals completely off my body with their teeth"
AK: "Only with a human? Not even an animal? I'm falling asleep..."
Alpha Kinkster: "You think that's kinky?? Vanilla af!"
Someone else "I want to deepthroat a guy so deep that I throw up"
AK: "And you don't continue after you barf? Laaaame"
A third someone "I want to be tied upside-down with duct tape to a tree and have a midget amputee tear my genitals completely off my body with their teeth"
AK: "Only with a human? Not even an animal? I'm falling asleep..."
by Some random person, idfk May 19, 2020
Arguing online about a topic that is dead. Everyone who's had any interest in the topic has heard everything there is to say. Everyone has made up their mind. Nobody is on the fence. The fence isn't even there anymore. The fence was there to distinguish the sides from each other, but y now it doesn't matter who is standing where. The topic is dead.
This is aptly named after a "game" where two people care way too much about what their peers think of them, to an extent where they take turns punching each other's fists and pretending it doesn't hurt. Everyone watching holds back their laughter while these two people wreck a body part they'll need for the rest of their lives (these are normally kids, and injuring the skeleton before it's finished growing is very harmful. It affects the growth and can cause deformations) because they think it makes them look like badasses, rather than dumbasses.
Who is told that they won Bloody Knuckles is up to house rules, but nobody really wins Bloody Knuckles. Nobody wins Internet Bloody Knuckles either. They think they won, based on whatever (like house rules), but all they really did was stress themselves out. Everyone else took one look at the topic, knew everything that would be said, and just moved on. Unlike the original Bloody Knuckles, Internet Bloody Knuckles can have any number of players, but even 2 is too many.
Now their real problems (which can actually be mitigated) will be harder to deal with.
This is aptly named after a "game" where two people care way too much about what their peers think of them, to an extent where they take turns punching each other's fists and pretending it doesn't hurt. Everyone watching holds back their laughter while these two people wreck a body part they'll need for the rest of their lives (these are normally kids, and injuring the skeleton before it's finished growing is very harmful. It affects the growth and can cause deformations) because they think it makes them look like badasses, rather than dumbasses.
Who is told that they won Bloody Knuckles is up to house rules, but nobody really wins Bloody Knuckles. Nobody wins Internet Bloody Knuckles either. They think they won, based on whatever (like house rules), but all they really did was stress themselves out. Everyone else took one look at the topic, knew everything that would be said, and just moved on. Unlike the original Bloody Knuckles, Internet Bloody Knuckles can have any number of players, but even 2 is too many.
Now their real problems (which can actually be mitigated) will be harder to deal with.
Person 1: "The fictional character in this lewd drawing is not 18."
Person 2: "Guys, can we not play Internet Bloody Knuckles again? I can't in good conscience look the other way anymore. At this point it's as painful to think about as it is to watch. Go work out or study or stab water with a pencil. Anything but this."
Person 3: "They're not a real person."
Person 2: "Balls... 🤦"
Person 2: "Guys, can we not play Internet Bloody Knuckles again? I can't in good conscience look the other way anymore. At this point it's as painful to think about as it is to watch. Go work out or study or stab water with a pencil. Anything but this."
Person 3: "They're not a real person."
Person 2: "Balls... 🤦"
by Some random person, idfk July 09, 2023
A way of prefacing text that you originally started with saying "In a nutshell," because you thought it was gonna be conscise, but as it turned out, there was no quick way to say it.
There is very little space inside a nutshell, but there is a lot inside a coconut shell. So your long text needs a coconut shell. You could just erase the "In a nutshell," part, but that would make sense.
There is very little space inside a nutshell, but there is a lot inside a coconut shell. So your long text needs a coconut shell. You could just erase the "In a nutshell," part, but that would make sense.
Someone: "Why is the US government making their students pay for their own college? That's why they're dumb. Other countries use tax money for higher education. But the US spends all its tax money on military. They also don't have mandatory military service. Why are so many people volunteering to do villainous shit if they don't have to??"
Someone else: "Well, in a nutshell, the issue with the free education and mandatory military service thing is that it's straightforward and honest. Dumb people care more about feeling like they're not being controlled than they do about anything else. If you exert power on them in any way that's upfront, it doesn't matter if it's fair. They'll fight you to the death. So it's better to just tell them they can't succeed if they don't go to college, make college unaffordable, then offer free college to anyone who joins the military voluntarily. That policy is effectively the same, except it puts the burden entirely on poor people. Anyone who's rich enough to pay for their own college can stay. Everyone thinks they're free."
The first someone: "That was not nutshell size."
Second someone: "Fine, I'll say 'In a coconutshell' next time."
Someone else: "Well, in a nutshell, the issue with the free education and mandatory military service thing is that it's straightforward and honest. Dumb people care more about feeling like they're not being controlled than they do about anything else. If you exert power on them in any way that's upfront, it doesn't matter if it's fair. They'll fight you to the death. So it's better to just tell them they can't succeed if they don't go to college, make college unaffordable, then offer free college to anyone who joins the military voluntarily. That policy is effectively the same, except it puts the burden entirely on poor people. Anyone who's rich enough to pay for their own college can stay. Everyone thinks they're free."
The first someone: "That was not nutshell size."
Second someone: "Fine, I'll say 'In a coconutshell' next time."
by Some random person, idfk March 03, 2024