Definitions by Seddy Mazel

Schmuck-insurance

schmuck insurance

noun

A deal structure used when a seller urgently needs cash but refuses to sell an asset for far less than it’s worth. Instead of simply taking a lowball offer, the seller gives the buyer an immediate discount or ownership stake in exchange for a contractual right to share in the upside if the buyer later resells the asset for more.

It’s called schmuck insurance because the seller protects themselves from feeling like a schmuck after accepting cash in a desperate moment.

Lorenzo’s third-generation family business was in a serious cash crunch, so he needed to sell 50% of his inventory immediately. Rather than give it away at a fire-sale price, he structured a schmuck-insurance deal with Seth that gave Lorenzo cash upfront, a share of the upside, and full transparency into the eventual resale price. Lorenzo was thrilled that Seth offered him schmuck-insurance.

Schmuck-insurance by Seddy Mazel October 8, 2026

youshoulda 

Youshoulda (noun): A gender-neutral term for the innocuous and cheerful life coach you never hired, but is always armed with an endless supply of good intentions and a splash of enthusiasm. They believe it's their personal mission to guide everyone towards greatness, whether you asked for it or not! Often found dispensing unsolicited advice like a retired schmatta salesman in a bagel shop, a youshoulda radiates positivity while suggesting you should totally try bikram yoga, eat kale, or watch Bravo. They mean well, and their heart is always in the right place, making them the lovable friend you can’t help but giggle at while secretly appreciating their unwavering support!

Example sentence: Meredith can't stand it when her husband tells her, "You should do this" or "You should do that." However, her friend Dave reassures her, "Oh, he's really a special kind of guy; he's a youshoulda guy!" Yet, her friend Jen chimes in, "That's a big reason why I divorced my ex-husband, I couldn't stand his youshoulda behavior!"

youshoulda by Seddy Mazel July 26, 2025

Arguvolve 

Arguvolve
(verb)
Definition:
The process of learning to evolve from being argumentative to engaging in constructive, two-way conversations. Mastering arguvolve can likely save you half of your shit

I used to just argue with my wife just to win, but I’ve started to arguvolve-now my conversations actually lead somewhere productive.and with more intimacy

Arguvolve by Seddy Mazel May 4, 2025

craynanas

"Craynanas" is a word used to describe someone or something that is not just crazy, but bananas too, in a fun and lighthearted way. "Craynanas" signifies a loving level of batshit craziness.

That shit was craynanas" when Josh made love to his fiancé, who works as a tollbooth operator in the tollbooth.

craynanas by Seddy Mazel May 24, 2024

craynanas

"Craynanas" is a word used to describe someone or something that is not just crazy, but bananas too, in a fun and lighthearted way. "Craynanas" signifies a loving level of batshit craziness.

That shit was craynanas when Josh made love to his fiancé, who works as a tollbooth operator in the tollbooth.

craynanas by Seddy Mazel May 24, 2024

Sother

to knowingly nudge and pester someone in hopes of a positive result.

Seymour is such a sother that he always gets what he wants, until one day his wife divorced him cold turkey and told him to never sother her again. Seymour should focus on self-reflection and seek therapy to learn how to stop sothering the shit out of everyone

Sother by Seddy Mazel August 16, 2023

Howarya 

the action of giving a loud welcome or recognition of a passerby, while politely attempting to scare and inspire them

While hiking Vinny yelled Howarya to a passerby and he nearly shit is pants

Howarya by Seddy Mazel August 20, 2022