Contrary to popular belief, the hipster ranges in age from teenager all the way up to elderly and everywhere in between. Younger hipsters generally receive their hipster indoctrination from elder burned-out hipsters and hippies who masquerade as qualified teachers and professors.
They can be spotted wearing carefully ill-fitting clothes, about a size too small, in order to project an image of poverty-chic.
Hipsterism requires strict obedience to recycling rituals, and a prohibition of creating new ideas or items. Subsequently, the hipster will generally be seen wearing logos from mid to late 20th Century capitalist brands. They also like to wear fashion-glasses in order to project a false image of intelligence.
They possess a deep misunderstanding of the word ironic, preferring to use the definition from Alanis Morisette's song rather than the dictionary.
Hipsters generate unusual and offensive odors due to their affinity for organic human waste products and a natural aversion to personal hygiene. In the male of the species, you can spot clouds of fleas living in their beards off of uneaten bits of cafe fare. In the female of the species, fleas can be found in their unshaven armpit hair.
They can be spotted wearing carefully ill-fitting clothes, about a size too small, in order to project an image of poverty-chic.
Hipsterism requires strict obedience to recycling rituals, and a prohibition of creating new ideas or items. Subsequently, the hipster will generally be seen wearing logos from mid to late 20th Century capitalist brands. They also like to wear fashion-glasses in order to project a false image of intelligence.
They possess a deep misunderstanding of the word ironic, preferring to use the definition from Alanis Morisette's song rather than the dictionary.
Hipsters generate unusual and offensive odors due to their affinity for organic human waste products and a natural aversion to personal hygiene. In the male of the species, you can spot clouds of fleas living in their beards off of uneaten bits of cafe fare. In the female of the species, fleas can be found in their unshaven armpit hair.
by Schnorkenschneider April 24, 2014
An act of online mob mentality whereby a group of fascist activists decide to silence the voices of those with whom they disagree, by aggressively overwhelming a forum with spam, rather than engaging in thoughtful reasoned conversation.
Billy doesn't like what they're saying on that internet forum, so he organized his fellow hactivists to assault their board with positive jamming.
by Schnorkenschneider February 14, 2014
A romanticized designation given to a person or group of fascists using various electronic or other media to vandalize property or pirate electronic communications to overpower or silence voices that they disagree with.
Billy and his gang of jammers can't stand the opinions being expressed on their local radio station, KLWO. So Billy's jammers are going to take away the station's right to free speech by pirating their own signal to overpower KLWO's signal in an effort to silence them.
by Schnorkenschneider February 22, 2014
An adolescent or unthinking adult activist who parrots whatever Organizing For America has ordered them to think, in an effort to spread misinformation and disinformation on behalf of the State.
It generally results in awkward isolation for the factivist, as they proceed to drive their friends and family away from them at parties and holidays.
It generally results in awkward isolation for the factivist, as they proceed to drive their friends and family away from them at parties and holidays.
As a factivist, It's my job to keep reminding my Republican Uncle that if they like their healthcare plan, they can keep their healthcare plan. Period.
by Schnorkenschneider March 15, 2014
Fascist nosy busy-body that is more worried about everyone else around them, rather than just focusing on the problems in their own life. Generally tends to delude themselves into thinking they're saving the world.
by Schnorkenschneider November 21, 2013
Unbathed miscreants from the flatulent 1960s who developed modern Progressive ideology with the help of LSD and other mind altering substances. They came to believe that hallucinogenics and finger-painting gave them great insight into complex socio-economic and political issues. They originally self-identified as "free love" flower children, but would fundamentally transform themselves into communist oppressors in their old age. What was once a call to live free, became a mad dash for mandates, bans, and suffocating regulation over anything that even remotely annoyed them.
They would eventually come to barnacle themselves to already existing Civil Rights movements. Although still attempting to rebel against their parents while pushing 70 years of age, they are oblivious to the fact that they are no longer counter-culture, that they are in fact: the culture, especially in academic sewers. Perhaps being the most unwise American generation in existence, even in old age they still cannot grasp the reality that the concept of Utopia is a fantasy.
Their lack of personal hygiene is legendary. They oftentimes like to surround themselves with bottles of their own urine, or feces filled compost heaps in their own basements. It's highly likely that between their affinity for their own human waste products and their anti-technology reverence for the Kaczynski-esque ravings of Karl Marx, that they will be bring back the Black Death some time before the next turn of the Century.
They would eventually come to barnacle themselves to already existing Civil Rights movements. Although still attempting to rebel against their parents while pushing 70 years of age, they are oblivious to the fact that they are no longer counter-culture, that they are in fact: the culture, especially in academic sewers. Perhaps being the most unwise American generation in existence, even in old age they still cannot grasp the reality that the concept of Utopia is a fantasy.
Their lack of personal hygiene is legendary. They oftentimes like to surround themselves with bottles of their own urine, or feces filled compost heaps in their own basements. It's highly likely that between their affinity for their own human waste products and their anti-technology reverence for the Kaczynski-esque ravings of Karl Marx, that they will be bring back the Black Death some time before the next turn of the Century.
That filthy hippie won't get his mouth off that bong long enough to read a book; how does he know anything about economics?
by Schnorkenschneider February 22, 2014
A Utopian fantasy based on the Leninist concept of "equality of outcome." It says that since you have more, it must be taken away from you to give to those who have less, so that you are both equal. So there is much in common with the petty thief, who steals your wallet at gun point in order to equalize both of your wealth. Though this never seems to apply to rulers, who always seem to be exempt from social justice policies.
In order for social justice to exist, there has to be a ruling class to mete out that social justice. If there is an elite ruling class, then there is no social justice. So the concept of social justice always collapses in upon itself.
Social Justice is generally supported by hipsters of all ages who can't afford weekly groceries or gas for their cars, but who are simultaneously bedazzled with hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars of tattoos and piercings.
It is often used by power hungry despots to fool voters into surrendering their rights and liberties in exchange for promises of free stuff, while lining the pockets of the ruling class with the stolen wealth of the people.
In order for social justice to exist, there has to be a ruling class to mete out that social justice. If there is an elite ruling class, then there is no social justice. So the concept of social justice always collapses in upon itself.
Social Justice is generally supported by hipsters of all ages who can't afford weekly groceries or gas for their cars, but who are simultaneously bedazzled with hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars of tattoos and piercings.
It is often used by power hungry despots to fool voters into surrendering their rights and liberties in exchange for promises of free stuff, while lining the pockets of the ruling class with the stolen wealth of the people.
They promised social justice in Venezuela. They can't even supply toilet paper. Meanwhile, Maduro's right hand man Aristóbulo Istúriz has over $9.6 million in a Swiss bank account. At least Chavez's daughters still get to live it up in the Presidential Party Palace, La Casona.
In the Ukraine where the average salary is less than £300 a month, President Viktor Yanukovych said that 2013 would be a year of social justice. In 2014, the Ukrainian people found that his personal estate which was half the size of Monaco, contained a 5 floor mansion, a golf course, a private zoo, a park, a greenhouse, a garage filled with luxury sports cars, a helicopter pad, a pirate ship which served as a personal restaurant, a hovercraft, etc.
In America, they promised free healthcare for everyone. Now it costs more, and I have less coverage. I hear the First Ladies' newest dress cost $12,000. That's social justice for ya.
In the Ukraine where the average salary is less than £300 a month, President Viktor Yanukovych said that 2013 would be a year of social justice. In 2014, the Ukrainian people found that his personal estate which was half the size of Monaco, contained a 5 floor mansion, a golf course, a private zoo, a park, a greenhouse, a garage filled with luxury sports cars, a helicopter pad, a pirate ship which served as a personal restaurant, a hovercraft, etc.
In America, they promised free healthcare for everyone. Now it costs more, and I have less coverage. I hear the First Ladies' newest dress cost $12,000. That's social justice for ya.
by Schnorkenschneider April 24, 2014