Definitions by QuacksO

Studebeggar 

A vintage brand of passenger-car dat had quite a unique and fancy appearance, but was always "pleading" for expensive resources like fuel and maintenance/repair-parts.

If you actually wanna buy an old Studebeggar and fix it up for car-shows or whatever, more power to ya... just be aware dat it will likely "nickel you to death" even more than Henry Fix-Or-Repair-Daily's flimsy jalopies did back in their heyday.

Studebeggar by QuacksO September 21, 2019

Strudelbaker 

A vintage brand of automobile whose engine ran so hot that you could bake pastries on it.

After Grampa's old Strudelbaker got too worn to be worth fixing up anymore, Gramma used the engine for slow-cooking her breads and pies, similar to how Mike Mulligan used his now-obsolete steam-shovel's furnace to heat the new Town Hall in Popperville.

Strudelbaker by QuacksO September 21, 2019

introdicktion 

A resume or personals-column essay that clearly shows everyone what an arrogant selfish pathetic d**k you are.

I strongly disliked Tronald Dump from the get-go, especially with the disgusting self-puffing shallow-natured introdicktion he gave when he first started running for Prez.

introdicktion by QuacksO September 20, 2019

sellsius 

A unit of temperature-measurement that rates how "hot" or "chilly" a salesperson's looks and/or mannerisms are when marketing his wares.

Billy Mays may have fancied himself as "just the ultimate salesperson stud", but I never thought much of his puffed-up yatter, and so I'd have given him a merely "lukewarm" rating of about 15 degrees on the sellsius scale!

sellsius by QuacksO September 20, 2019

upper-lip valve 

What you create when you place the mouth of a beverage-bottle whose contents you plan to finish right then under your nose, press it inwards lightly to form a seal, tilt your head back, and then slowly slide the bottle downwards so that its opening gets gradually exposed overtop of your mouth and you can thus guzzle the liquid directly down your throat; the trick is to keep your upper lip pressed against the mouth of the bottle so that you're still partially covering the bottle's mouth, and thus the drink glugs out slowly enough to allow you to swallow it at a comfortable rate until the bottle is empty.

I often get odd looks from others when I employ the "upper-lip valve" method of drinking out of a bottle, but it allows me to both still breathe freely while I'm downing said libation, and also keep from spilling it all over myself, and so I don't really mind being thought of as a bit weird or inelegant.

upper-lip valve by QuacksO September 20, 2019

carrugated 

How yer automobile's hood and front fenders end up after an unfortunate head-on encounter wif a stone wall.

Back in da "good ol' days" when auto-bodies were real solid metal, if you clunked into something at fairly low speed, da bumper would just bounce off with little damage, and you could just back up and keep on a-truckin'. Nowadays, though, wif all da fancy-schamncy DOT-mandated "crumple zones" on vehicles, your whole front end gets totally carrugated even after just a minor collision, and then you gotta either buy a whole 'nother vehicle or spend thousands of dollars to get everything straightened out again!

carrugated by QuacksO September 19, 2019

errind 

A business-trip to town made by Ms. Brockovich.

Julia Roberts' character has lots of errinds to run in the course of her lawsuit against the Pacific Gas and Electric Company.

errind by QuacksO September 19, 2019