QuacksO's definitions

It's pursonal

A much-overused phrase that a mooching lady blows you off with when you ask her reason for requesting money from you. The intended purpose of her flippantly-ambiguous reply is to falsely imply to you that she needs said funds for "feminine issue" medicinal products, assisting family/friends with private-matter conundrums, etc., when in reality she merely wants to "fatten her PURSE" so that she can make frivolous/unhealthy expenditures which she knows that you as a prudent budgeter would never give her money for.

If a lady truly cares about you and has any sense of responsible budgeting, she should be willing to reveal what she wants to do with any money she asks you for, rather than just snapping, "It's pursonal". It's YOUR MONEY, so you have a right to know how it's being spent.

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

tar 'n' feather

Refers to either:
(1) The correct way to pave a road (i.e., to evenly spread/roll asphalt and then neatly angle-smooth the edges)
(2) What "they" will do to you is you do a sorry-a** job of said paving.

D.O.T. foreman: The citizens in this area are really touchy about having their hard-won tax-dollars used for re-surfacing their main street, so I'd better see that my crew does a good job of it if we don't want them to tar 'n' feather us afterwards.

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

character ass-sass-ination

Refers to publicly-voiced derisive/uncomplimentary remarks/details ("sass") made about someone regarding his less-than-perfect-looking posterior ("ass").

(a prime example of character ass-sass-ination, from an old "Blondie" cartoon) Mrs. Dithers: In my younger days, I had quite a following.
Mr. Dithers: And she still does, heh, heh, heh... (cheekily placing his hand beside his mouth as if to prevent his wife from hearing his "aside" remark) ...but her dress-maker keeps it well-hidden!
Dagwood (staring down at Mr. Dithers' prostrate figure that's sprawled untidily on the floor as his irately-unamused wife stomps off in a huff): Do you see stars, Boss?
Mr. Dithers: Stars?!?? I can see the entire AURORA BOREALIS!!!

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

gain the upper hand

Where you are able to happily grasp and retain a nice gal's "upper" hand --- i.e., the one opposite to her "lower" hand from the shoulder that she's lying on --- while stretched out on your sides at the beach or spooning her in bed.

Being allowed to gain the upper hand while spooning with a nice girl is always a pleasure; just remember to always employ the wrist-twist compromise to ensure maximum comfort for both of you.

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

wrist-twist compromise

Refers to where you and another male friend are "group-spooning" with a nice gal on the beach or in bed, and she has her "lower" arm/hand (i.e., the one from the shoulder that she's lying on) extended out in front of her and the dude whom she's spooning is contentedly clasping this hand. So of course you therefore wish to hold her "upper" hand, but the prob is that this would ordinarily oblige one of you to rotate your wrist an entire half-turn to position your hand palm-upwards, which would likely cause a somewhat-painful wrenching of your wrist. So instead, you both twist your wrists just a quarter of a turn so that your palms are facing each other, and then interlace your fingers.

My buddy and I were having a nice long group-spoon with Tiffany as a reward for our assisting her around the house for a few hours, and I ended up spooning her from behind. Well, naturally, I wanted to hold her hand, but it would have been too painful for either of us to turn our hand upwards --- especially after the strenuous housework-exertion that we had all just been through --- so we performed a wrist-twist compromise and thus were able to happily clasp hands all the same.

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

Joseph Hazelnut

The infamous coffee-imbibing Captain of the U.S.S. Juan Valdez that ran aground in Alaska's Prince William Sound and spilled huge quantities of Colombian coffee into the bay.

Somebody at X-on shoulda known better than to hire a sea-captain with a name like Joseph Hazelnut --- both his first AND last names would give a normal person da coffee-jitter nerves... "joe" is slang for coffee, and "hazelnut" is an actual FLAVOR of coffee... NOT a good combination for calm and alert piloting of a huge tanker-vessel through the reef-laced waters off Alaska!!

by QuacksO August 9, 2018

Spock and Watson

Refers to instances where you get similar-sounding names of famous people mixed up.

I have Spock and Watson confusion --- I call Mr. Spock for pediatric advice, and summon Doctor Spock to the bridge of the USS Enterprise; I also approach Mr. Watson for referrals to da Great Baker Street Detective, and ask Dr. Watson for assistance in perfecting my telephone.

by QuacksO August 9, 2018