QuacksO's definitions
That dreaded “you only have a short time to live” medical report that a doctor detests having to give, and he fervently hopes that there won’t be an ambulance-chaser within earshot.
Doctor: “Zheesh, I’m not looking forward to presenting that old geezer with my die-agnosis --- knowing him, he’ll likely slap me with a malpractice suit even though I’ve honestly done all I could for him. This aint my fault --- as I've tried to tell him a thousand times before, it’s his own dissipative lifestyle that’s killing him.”
by QuacksO September 1, 2012
Get the die-agnosis mug.A mental condition of excessive selfishness. Can eventually lead to me-osis if left unchecked or untreated.
Neighbor: Zheesh, that closed-minded guy next door has sure got a serious case of “I-itis”! Wouldn’t surprise me if it turns into “me-osis” before too long!
by QuacksO September 1, 2012
Get the I-itis mug.Guy who wants to give a girl a massage: Don't worry, hun... I promise I’ll just touch the “acceptable” parcels of real estate --- when the sign says, “Keep off the grass”, I keep off the grass! (Acknowledgements to Charles Bronson)
by QuacksO November 26, 2011
Get the real estate mug.Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”
by QuacksO November 26, 2011
Get the The Merchandise mug.The practice of a female’s either showing a man “The Merchandise” or letting him feel her up in exchange for his assistance. Often mentioned in the case of a normally-modest/celibate female who does not want to expose herself but feels that she may have no choice at the time because she really needs the male’s immediate help but possesses no money or other "acceptable" way to presume to expect said male to exert himself on her behalf.
Roomie #1: Yo! It's eleven p.m., Girl! Where ya been?
Roomie # 2: Oh, had a flat tire, hunny, 'way out in the boonies! Lucky for me that country boy stopped by on his ATV and changed it for me!
Roomie #1: He did it for FREE?!?? You told me you were outta foldin' money.
Roomie # 2: Yeah, I know --- hadda give him a little tit-for-tat first.
Roomie # 2: Oh, had a flat tire, hunny, 'way out in the boonies! Lucky for me that country boy stopped by on his ATV and changed it for me!
Roomie #1: He did it for FREE?!?? You told me you were outta foldin' money.
Roomie # 2: Yeah, I know --- hadda give him a little tit-for-tat first.
by QuacksO November 26, 2011
Get the tit-for-tat mug.Hands off the merchandise!
A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.
A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.
Weary girl (pushing her guy's "exploring" hand away from her boobs): Hey! Hands off the merchandise! I wanna go to sleep now!
by QuacksO November 28, 2011
Get the Hands off the merchandise! mug.The common newspaper column that women utilize to write in and complain about the oblivious/incompetent/chauvinistic men in their lives. (Seldom read by the men, incidentally --- ignorance is bliss, and they don’t want to be overly depressed.)
Petulant girl: My boyfriend is being a total dink --- I think I'll write in to the obitchuary, to see what the other chicks think about it.
by QuacksO November 28, 2011
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