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QuacksO's definitions

Brig'em Young

A sarcastically-disparaging nickname given to an overly-strict-'n'-severe military-base supervisor who staunchly believes in da appallingly-prejudiced "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" philosophy, and who therefore thinks dat any even-minorly-misbehaving "Army brat" should automatically be sent to da slammer, rather than being given a lighter punishment like probation or community service.
George Beat-Around-Da-Bush said he'd give us a "kinder gentler America" during his presidency, but said lofty promise never seemed to actually come to fruition --- selfishness and violent crime have climbed to an all-time high, and we still have plenty of "Brig'em Young" figures terrorizing da offspring of our nation's veterans!
by QuacksO December 29, 2021
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heart of gold

The blood-pumping organ of a greedy/selfish moocher/fortune-hunter who only yearns for gold; i.e., his main goal in life is to be given money to either hoard or spend frivolously.
In the 1937 comedy-film "Way Out West", Laurel and Hardy play a couple of witless buddies who unknowingly deliver a deed for a gold mine to the wrong woman; the recipient is actually the heiress's devious guardian with a "heart of gold"... Laurel naively "hits home" by telling her, "Now that you own a mine, I bet you'll be a swell gold-digger".
by QuacksO October 30, 2018
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pepidemic

Coffee and stimulant-imbued soft drinks are super-heavily consumed in da state of Missizippy, with everyone whizzing about in a frenzied cafffeine-buzz --- there is an absolute pepidemic there!
by QuacksO June 30, 2020
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surjury

Heavy-duty treatment to rid someone of his addiction to courtroom-drama.
I try hard to stay out of legal trouble myself, and programs like Law & Order, People's Court, or CSI don't appeal to me, anyway, so I would not likely ever need surjury!
by QuacksO November 7, 2023
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religious engine-cranking

Onomatopoeia description for the sound of a starter-motor.
When cold-starting a vehicle with a carburetor instead of fuel injection, one should use this religious engine-cranking method:
(1) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor twice. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(2) Crank the engine for one second. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(3) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor two more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine for one second again. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(5) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor three more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine again for several rotations; it should start this time. ("Jesuit-esuit-esuit-esuit-vrOOOOM!!")
by QuacksO September 30, 2020
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What the manager of an antiques-restoration shop specializing in post-Renaissance-era pieces tells a trainee while surveying a recently-delivered assortment of vintage art and furniture.
To ensure that we don't become overwhelmed with antiques that need TLC, I always tell my repairmen to just stick to pieces dating from the early 1600's through the mid-1700's --- "If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it, boys --- we'll send all the items from other periods elsewhere for refurbishing."
by QuacksO November 23, 2018
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intrapenis injection

1. Where a dude is administered a dose of meds by inserting a smooth-tipped syringe into his urethra.
2. Where Dude#1 jizzes into a specially-designed syringe as described in Definition #1, and then injects said jizz into Dude#2's tallywacker so that his own sperm will be also released along with Dude#2's load during his next intercourse-session.
Intrapenis injection can be useful in at least two commonly-occurring circumstances: one is if Dude #1 wishes that the gal whom Dude#2 is about to mate with would allow him to "do it" with her, too, and so at least he can know that his own love-juice will be deposited into the gal's "special spot" along with the other guy's load; the other situation would be if the two guys are concerned that the gal may get pregnant, and so they hope to confuse a DNA-test by mixing up their jizz on its way in.
by QuacksO February 1, 2018
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