QuacksO's definitions

FIEnancial

Da topic of income/spending regarding da "four-word chanting" giant who lives in da castle at da top of da beanstalk.

"Fee, fie, fo, fum --- I've suffered great FIEnancial loss at da thieving hands of dat bratty pint-sized Englishman! He not only stole my bag of gold, my golden-egg-laying hen, and golden harp, but he also greedily crammed his cheeks with some of my food, and my overly-generous wife didn't even charge him any FEE for it!"

by QuacksO April 5, 2020

testimoney

Refers to one or more cash-bribes paid to someone who is willing to lie in court on behalf of his/her "benefactor", either to get said cash-flasher off the hook for a crime that he did indeed commit, or to wrongfully convict someone else who either is completely innocent or could not have been expected to behave differently from how he acted (i.e, he has a physical/mental disability, he'd had no idea whatsoever that he was doing other than what was acceptable, there were extenuating circumstances and/or there was "more to the story" than the plaintiffs were letting on, etc.).

If you are sufficiently attractive and/or possess a sufficiently-convincing manner, you may not need to seek "regular" employment --- you may be able to subsist very comfortably on the testimoney of others who need a "vindicating/corroborating witness".

by QuacksO December 26, 2018

DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't

In other words, it may not exactly be a "stroll on Easy Street" for you no matter what da result of da paternity-test shows --- a prime example would be dat even if said test does indeed prove dat you're not da love-baby's daddy, da test's in-da-thousands-of-dollars cost may be somewhat comparable to what you'd have hadda spend for child-support, anyway.

Good luck on getting a refund for da momentous cost of a paternity-test if said test proves dat indeed you are not da child's biological father (see "pap smear", definition #14); you might be better off to simply start making support-payments; it can definitely be a "DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't" situation!

by QuacksO February 25, 2020

alimoany

Funds that a woman tries to extort from a guy through dramatic tearful wailing.

If you've done nothing truly wrong, don't listen to a whiny bi**h's blubbery nagging --- she's just trying to get alimoany from you.

by QuacksO March 19, 2019

frictional statement

A non-legitimate assertion regarding force-impeding drag between two surfaces.

My supposedly-on-a-strict-sugar-free-diet cousin claimed dat its having taken him a longer-than-normal time to pedal to da hardware store and back was merely due to da bike's having stiff bearings and there being a strong headwind during part of da journey, but dat was obviously just a frictional statement dat he'd made up in an attempt to cover for da fact dat he had actually stopped at da candy store on his way back --- I happened to know dat da weather was dead-calm dat day, plus I had thoroughly greased and oiled said two-wheeler just a few days earlier.

by QuacksO January 1, 2022

guarantea

A legally-binding promise by da Radical Whig colonists dat dey would dump da dried-aromatic-leaves cargo off of da British ships in Boston Harbor if da London-based government didn't remove da tax.

Just because da British ships arrived in Boston Harbor laden with their precious traditional-beverage plant-based commodity was no guarantea dat said products would actually get delivered to da shore-located warehouses, or even dat it would get paid for!

by QuacksO May 29, 2022

Ayatollah already

What Khomeini would say if you asked him the same question twice.

Carter: Will you release the hostages?
Kholmeini: The only way I'll release them is if YOU agree to ALL of OUR demands --- period.
Carter: So you won't consider releasing them just on your own?
Kholmeini: Ayatollah already --- YOU have to give US what WE want first!

by QuacksO February 24, 2025