Definitions by QuacksO
collarship
An all-expenses-waived course for Fido to attend obedience school or any other canine-related educational establishment.
Certain members of Man's best friends may qualify for a full collarship, such as those who are exceptionally even-tempered, are registered therapy-dogs, or are extra-intelligent canines who are being trained to assist disabled people.
collarship by QuacksO January 22, 2015
asspirations
(n.) Refers to two different posterior-related subjects:
1. Motivated dreams/hopes of being permitted sexual access to someone's behind (i.e., "given ass")
2. Farts (i.e., “anal respirations”).
One should note that such bodily expulsions (especially if they are excessively loud/odiferous) as mentioned in Definition 2 may very likely have a direct and dramatic "dampening effect" on the intensity of the desirous thoughts/feelings described in Definition 1. Nothing turns off someone of either gender more quickly/dramatically than a humongous load of sulphur-flavored methane ejected at close range. This instantaneous negative reaction can either be an enormously vexing problem or an incredibly useful tool, depending on the circumstances and the wishes/intent of the wind-breaker. On the one hand, for example, if someone is trying to cause his/her romantic partner to feel happy and comfortable about bodily-sharing, he will want to make the experience as pleasant/peaceful as possible, and so any carelessly-released bubble of gas would definitely be inadvisable. If, however, one of the "lovers" is having serious doubts about the compatibility/advisability of the romantic union, his "letting one rip" can be a powerful strategy to cause the other person to quickly lose interest and flee, without either individual's actually saying anything to discourage further lovemaking.
1. Motivated dreams/hopes of being permitted sexual access to someone's behind (i.e., "given ass")
2. Farts (i.e., “anal respirations”).
One should note that such bodily expulsions (especially if they are excessively loud/odiferous) as mentioned in Definition 2 may very likely have a direct and dramatic "dampening effect" on the intensity of the desirous thoughts/feelings described in Definition 1. Nothing turns off someone of either gender more quickly/dramatically than a humongous load of sulphur-flavored methane ejected at close range. This instantaneous negative reaction can either be an enormously vexing problem or an incredibly useful tool, depending on the circumstances and the wishes/intent of the wind-breaker. On the one hand, for example, if someone is trying to cause his/her romantic partner to feel happy and comfortable about bodily-sharing, he will want to make the experience as pleasant/peaceful as possible, and so any carelessly-released bubble of gas would definitely be inadvisable. If, however, one of the "lovers" is having serious doubts about the compatibility/advisability of the romantic union, his "letting one rip" can be a powerful strategy to cause the other person to quickly lose interest and flee, without either individual's actually saying anything to discourage further lovemaking.
Baked-bean-loving dude: I have **great asspirations** every time I see a chick with a cute round bum, but then I always drive her away with my **bodily asspirations** that invariably seem to pop out right when we're in the middle of humpin'.
asspirations by QuacksO January 14, 2015
Noh-wuh!
(interj.) Used to indignantly turn down/refuse to even consider a preposterous request, suggestion, query, etc., especially when the speaker (usually female) is mildly outraged, feeling that the asker (usually male) should know better than to even ask such a thing, and considering the question to be beneath her diginity and/or an insult to her intelligence, as if the asker really thinks that the speaker is so incredibly stupid/naive that she would actually not see through such an obvious and thinly-veiled "loaded" remark.
Girl (disgustedly): Haven't you got ANYTHING better to say than chauvenistic wisecracks??? You've been razzin' me all morning!
Guy (grinning impishly): Yeah, I know --- awful, aren't I? So whatcha gonna DO about it --- SLAP MY BUTT?
Girl (indignantly): Noh-wuh!
Guy (disappointed): "Noh-wuh"?? No spankin' my butt to get back at me fer sassin' ya??
Girl (smugly): No-wuh! Cuz you might ENJOY it! I wasn't BORN YESTERDAY, y'know!
Guy (grinning impishly): Yeah, I know --- awful, aren't I? So whatcha gonna DO about it --- SLAP MY BUTT?
Girl (indignantly): Noh-wuh!
Guy (disappointed): "Noh-wuh"?? No spankin' my butt to get back at me fer sassin' ya??
Girl (smugly): No-wuh! Cuz you might ENJOY it! I wasn't BORN YESTERDAY, y'know!
Preparation H
Recipe from Hell. Refers to any concoction or mixture of two or more substances (a home-made remedy, restaurant offering, bartender creation, etc) that almost nobody can stand; this unappealing product can seem even more repulsive if there are one or two weirdos who actually enjoy or support the existence of the horrid cocktail.
I don't know how that bewhiskered snake-oil hippie is actually still selling all of that Preparation H he's hawking --- I'd have to be insane to even take a whiff of that disgusting goo!
Preparation H by QuacksO January 13, 2015
arsenist
Denotes someone who verbally "lights a fire under people" to try and persuade them to give him some ass, either literally or figuratively (i.e., he may not literally ask for sexual favors, but he will request something "equally momentous" that far exceeds what he could reasonably expect under the circumstances). This intense and persistent pressuring could include attempted bribery, laying a guilt trip on the person, offering to forgive a debt/obligation that the potential provider owes him, refusing to provide much-needed assistance unless the person "submits his cheeks", etc.
gluteun-free
(adj.) Describes a self-imposed lifestyle or prescribed treatment where someone attempts to get through his entire day and night without giving or partaking of any ass. Usually fails miserably unless one is a hermit, since in populated areas there are so many round plump juicy posteriors around that are seemingly just begging to be pinched or humped.
Store owner, to male customer in the toilet-tissue aisle: Please don't squeeze the Charmin, sir.
Recovering skirt-chaser: Look, buster --- cut the poor horny guy some slack, willya?! My doctor told me to go completely gluteun-free in an attempt to cure me of feeling up the ladies, and I've gone three days without any ass, so I need to do something to semi-slake my consumptive cravings!
Recovering skirt-chaser: Look, buster --- cut the poor horny guy some slack, willya?! My doctor told me to go completely gluteun-free in an attempt to cure me of feeling up the ladies, and I've gone three days without any ass, so I need to do something to semi-slake my consumptive cravings!
gluteun-free by QuacksO January 13, 2015
trojan horse
Stud #1: Wooo-hoooo... that Tiffany is totally smokin' hot! How come she doesn't have more guys after her?
Stud #2: Oh --- she's one of those trojan horses, and most guys prefer gals who will "just do it" anytime and anywhere.
Stud #2: Oh --- she's one of those trojan horses, and most guys prefer gals who will "just do it" anytime and anywhere.
trojan horse by QuacksO January 10, 2015