Definitions by QuacksO

boobs-beeline 

Refers to the "standard" route that a typical horny guy's hands follow after first greeting a newly-met lady who is endowed with an ample chest --- the moment he finishes giving her a "hello hug", he immediately drops his arms and reaches up under her blouse to savoringly cup her big warm luscious chest-pillows (as have innumerable other flesh-craving guys before him. no doubt, which of course is likely one of the main reasons that the gal's tits have become so bountifully-big to begin with, what with so many guys' having delightedly played with them in past years). Well, maybe you really can't blame da dude very much... if da gal's "girls" are just perkily sticking right out there all huge and obvious, it's almost as if she's "presenting" or "offering" her chest-meat to him, and so how can he resist reaching out and "accepting" what she's seemingly holding out for him to grasp??

Buxom gal, speaking in a slightly-disgusted-but-amused tone after a new guy has performed a boobs-beeline with his hands just moments after walking in her front door for the first time: "Yeah, yeah, yeah... just like all da typical guys --- give her a hug and then head straight for da boobs!"

boobs-beeline by QuacksO February 13, 2019

chewse 

To make the conscious decision to consume something by mouth.

Tobacco companies claim that people merely chewse to consume tobacco, but I find that reasoning flawed and selfish.

chewse by QuacksO February 12, 2019

fewneral 

A memorial service for some no-account a**h**e whom virtually nobody liked --- or even associated with any more than they could help it --- while he was alive, and so there are almost no folks who attend said service because they neither want to bother paying their respects nor would they likely be able to squeeze out any crocodile-tears on his behalf; if anything, they're probably secretly thinking, "Good riddance!", and are actually **glad** to hear that he's passed, since it means that he will no longer be bothering them.

Ebeneezer Scrooge's fewneral was predicted to have a very low turnout, especially if there were no refreshments offered afterwards --- as one of the gentlemen in a small group whom the Ghost Of Christmas Yet-To-Come showed Scrooge said, "I must be fed, if I make one."

fewneral by QuacksO February 12, 2019

aukward 

Refers to a uniquely-uncomfortable feeling that one gets from discussing an extinct bird which humans were responsible for wiping out due to over-hunting.

When big-biz dudes try to tell us about how environmentally responsible they are, I ask them about extinct bird and animal species that they and their kind are responsible for wiping out; it always creates an aukward situation for them.

aukward by QuacksO February 12, 2019

spokesperson 

The employee at a bicycle shop whose job is to tension wheels and hubs.

To be a proper spokesperson, you need to know how much to tighten each spoke-nut in order to correctly support the wheel, but to also not be so tight that the end of the spoke sticks through out of the back of the nut and punctures the innertube.

spokesperson by QuacksO February 12, 2019

pasturized milk 

The sweet liquid-byproduct of free-range grass-fed cows.

Since free-range cows naturally produce pasturized milk, there is no need to heat it; you can safely just drink it "just as it came out of Bossie" --- it tastes infinitely better raw, anyway.

pasturized milk by QuacksO February 12, 2019

no answer is good answer 

A natural "take-off" of the classic "no news" proverb, this saying refers to when you receive no response to a potentially-controversial or "explosive" message that you had trepidatiously sent to an individual or business/government establishment sometime earlier; the idea here is that if your missive's recipient actually was able to "swallow" or "digest" your message's content without "going ballistic" and hot-headedly sending either a seethingly-angry response or the cops your way, then this indicates that the ultra-careful/tactful word-choices that you'd employed when originally composing your message must have paid off --- the recipient's very lack of any response is actually a response in itself, in that he is indicating to you that your message did not excessively upset him.

In today's heatedly-temperish and highly-emotionally-charged business/social world, merely not stressing out someone with a somewhat-unusual/unorthodox statement/request is a major and "worthy" achievement that puts you "ahead of the curve" just by itself, and so you should count your lucky stars and give yourself a pat on the back for good English-communication skills if you actually receive a merely "neutral" reaction when sending someone a potentially-upsetting message --- no answer is good answer, I always say.

no answer is good answer by QuacksO February 12, 2019