A memorial service for some no-account a**h**e whom virtually nobody liked --- or even associated with any more than they could help it --- while he was alive, and so there are almost no folks who attend said service because they neither want to bother paying their respects nor would they likely be able to squeeze out any crocodile-tears on his behalf; if anything, they're probably secretly thinking, "Good riddance!", and are actually **glad** to hear that he's passed, since it means that he will no longer be bothering them.
Ebeneezer Scrooge's fewneral was predicted to have a very low turnout, especially if there were no refreshments offered afterwards --- as one of the gentlemen in a small group whom the Ghost Of Christmas Yet-To-Come showed Scrooge said, "I must be fed, if I make one."
by QuacksO February 12, 2019
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