Suicide Shitter

When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.

Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?

Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.

Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.

Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -

************BOOM************!

Akmed: What happened?

Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!

Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?

Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.

Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.

Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.

Akmed: Let's go take a shower.

Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
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booger sex

When KY Jelly isn't available and you need to lube up your grandma's sandy old dust snatch.
Man, my grandma was really horny last night. I decided to oblige after she took her teeth out.

Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"

Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).

Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
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Shitesticles

When a big fat guy steps on your belly and ruptures your intestines. The poop squishes down into you scrotum causing your testicles to get all shitty.
Ah, dude. That guy caused Billy to get shitesticles.
by Pollup January 11, 2008
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Unwrap the soap

Hey Gordon (from Sesame Street),

Can I unwrap the soap in the shower with you?
by Pollup December 25, 2007
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turban dictionary

What it will be called after Urban Dictionary is taken over by Sikh Terrorists.
I submitted an entry to turban dictionary and those assholes didn't accept it. Probably because it wasn't about turbans. Assholes.
by Pollup January 04, 2008
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cock vendor

A really, really huge black dude who pimps out skinny white dudes. Cock vendors are usually named Aram or Jeeves and they always carry a machete. They are descendants of the great "Harry White," a prostitution visionary.

You can find cock vendors in most large cities hanging out on the corner pretending to be Rastafarians. Don't be fooled - the hair is fake.

Not to be confused with pimps.
Man, let's grab some grub and then go visit the cock vendor. He'll fix us right up.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
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Ewok balls

When Chewbacca roars at your nuts and they shrivel up into cowardly little hairy Ewok puffs.
Man, I was battling the Empire and accidentally shot Chewie in the ankle with my laser gun. He grabbed me and threw me across the room. Then he roared at my nuts and they shriveled up into little puff balls.

They were Ewok balls.
by Pollup January 14, 2008
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