Pete Dick's definitions

born on third base

term coined by the great Barry Switzer to describe someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth but has an arrogance and thinks their standing in life is because of their own doing.

The Cooker: "i hate hanging out at the Kirk Hotel with all of these arrogant, rich punks that think they are an international man of leisure."
Pete Dick (calling Oak the goon): "look dude, just focus on jacking for beats and I will take care of these fucks that were born on third base."

by Pete Dick March 21, 2008

Cost Per Lay

Also known as "CPL," the Cost Per Lay is the amount of money a man spends to get laid.

Cook: "Hey, are you still dating that high maintenace bitch?"
Pete: "Yeah, she is killing me."
Cook: "Why, she's pretty hot?"
Pete: "Yeah she is but I have to take her out on expensive dates or she won't give me any."
Cook: "What's your Cost Per Lay?"
Pete: "Fuck, I dunno, at least a hundred bucks."
Cook (laughing): "Dude, your so fucked, dump that bitch!"
Pete: "Not before I tape myself nailing her."
Cook: "That'll be some expensive porn my good man..."

by Pete Dick February 10, 2008

beautiful thing

a way to describe something or an event that is cool, best when way over used.

TP: "Hey I can get out of the house today, lets go jacking for beats!"
Pete Dick: "wow, its a beautiful thing"
TP: "I can stay out the whole day, lets go to the Kirk Hotel"
Pete Dick: "its a beautiful thing"
TP: "I'll drive too, I got that new satellite radio with the 80s channel."
Pete Dick: "its a beautiful thing"

by Pete Dick March 15, 2008

dough acrobat

a very accomplished pizza maker who is an expert dough tosser and pizza stretcher.

The Cooker: "How come we have to always do our jacking for beats at the Kirk Hotel?"
Pete Dick: "Because I have the hots for that dough acrobat that makes the pizzas."
The Cooker: "Dude, just do me a favor and don't piss her off like usual, we need her making those pizzas with love."

by Pete Dick March 13, 2008

super punter

the colloquial term for very successful gamblers.

Pete: "You got any action on the big game?"
Cooker: "No, my wife would kill me if she knew I was gambling."
Pete: "Well I put down ten large."
Cooker: "Shit, you have some balls, but you have always been a super punter."

by Pete Dick February 10, 2008

sexual credit report

when a new love interest begins to inquire about one's sexual history, like a credit report, any sexual acts occurring more than seven years ago do not count.

Cook: "I'm glad your back with Venus."
Pete DicK: "Well, she ran my sexual credit report."
Cook: "oh, shit, you're done man."
Pete DicK" "no way, I haven't banged a girl in the ass for ten years, I'm clean"
Cook: "thank God, for the sexual credit report, at least its off your file"
Pete DicK: "YES, now I can fuck her in the ass virgin style."

by Pete Dick September 14, 2009

dubbage

The dried flowers and leaves from the Cannabis plant. The active chemical in marijuana is THC, which can unfortunately be detected in the urine up to several weeks after use.

Dude, David was just out on the back porch smokin' dubbage, now he is eating all of our pizza.

by Pete Dick December 25, 2007