PaulAllensCard's definitions

The Anal Iconoclast

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.

The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.

by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015

Nukkake

(noun, pron. "Nu-cocky") The strategic act of war in which one country, state or province is bombarded with nuclear missiles from all angles by surrounding hostile nations. Ideally this would end once all belligerent forces have fully expended their stockpiles and the target is covered in pearly white fallout.

"Mr. President, North Korea just hit Seoul, Okinawa and Taiwan with medium-range ballistic missiles... We have all members of NATO on conference, and they unanimously voted to respond with a Nukkake."

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Douche Coupe

Douche Coupe: A person of such extremely lame character it's neither practical nor easy to handle- it's full on turbo sporting; a level of lameness that contrasts the utilitarian minivan of jerkoff (and even surpasses the douchiness of a giant lifted truck with those chrome testicles swinging from the bumper) with downright flamboyant, high-performance Ferrari-quality shortcomings.

Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"

Glenn Beck is a raging V-12 douche coupe.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Gash Stache

Gash Stache (def., noun): An artfully-manicured pubic adornment above a woman's vagina. This may include the Hitler, the popular landing strip, a classic inverted triangle, the suggestive "V", a 19th Century handlebar fuckstache, or a variety of fun shapes depending on the steady hand and precision grooming equipment. A clean shave is always welcome, but a fun little patch of fur above the V-zone can be a great touch. The Bin Laden beard however, is not.

~A sensational new word from AndyBones, aka PaulAllensCard- Lovingly tending to G-spots & clitoris (pl.-clitori?) since boot-cut jeans were in style~

A cute little "gash stache" is a nice change of pace between the bald weeks ladies, don't be a slave to the wax strip.

by PaulAllensCard November 22, 2016

Butt Rocket

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)

I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.

by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015

Cocoa Puff

When you sit on someone else's pillow and blow a hot, rancid fart into it as you slowly raise your ass off it to create a sponge effect that will trap the smell inside. Later when that person goes to bed and presses their head into the pillow, the stale fart is ejected right into their face.

My mother-in-law is staying in the guest room, so I made sure to leave a cocoa puff in both pillows.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Hot Wax Dart

(noun) A forceful, high-velocity shot of semen, typically pressurized by a long-term buildup resulting from:

1. Infrequent tug sessions

2. Denial of sex or

3. Inconclusive vaginal/ oral copulation

Sex-starved for months, Carlos finally bedded Vanessa. After twelve seconds of furious thrusting a painful spike in his ball-pressure erupted, firing a deadly Hot Wax Dart directly into Vanessa's cervix
....and therefore scoring a Balls-eye.

by PaulAllensCard February 4, 2015