PaulAllensCard's definitions
Slang word for a "blumpkin". Which is also a slang word. If you don't know what a blumpkin is yet, then fuck you
by PaulAllensCard December 12, 2016
Get the Blummie mug.(Sex act) While performing oral sex on a woman, the tongue manipulates the clitoris like a joystick moving up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right- the same directional commands used in the infamous "99 lives" cheat in the old 80's Nintendo game Contra. Since the same cheat works in the classic Castlevania, this could also be referred to as The Castlevania Code, or even "Contralingus".
"I had my face in her crotch for a good ten minutes, but once I entered the Contra Code she squirted so hard I saw it arc right over my shoulder"
by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Get the Contra Code mug.The three-way shot of ejaculate from a pierced penis without the ring, creating a fountain-like eruption of semen.
Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot
Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot
by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015
Get the Yogurt Fountain mug.An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.
"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."
by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Get the Wallet Fossil mug.A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.
by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015
Get the The Anal Iconoclast mug.(noun, pron. "Nu-cocky") The strategic act of war in which one country, state or province is bombarded with nuclear missiles from all angles by surrounding hostile nations. Ideally this would end once all belligerent forces have fully expended their stockpiles and the target is covered in pearly white fallout.
"Mr. President, North Korea just hit Seoul, Okinawa and Taiwan with medium-range ballistic missiles... We have all members of NATO on conference, and they unanimously voted to respond with a Nukkake."
by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Get the Nukkake mug.When you sit on someone else's pillow and blow a hot, rancid fart into it as you slowly raise your ass off it to create a sponge effect that will trap the smell inside. Later when that person goes to bed and presses their head into the pillow, the stale fart is ejected right into their face.
My mother-in-law is staying in the guest room, so I made sure to leave a cocoa puff in both pillows.
by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Get the Cocoa Puff mug.