PaulAllensCard's definitions

Gash Stache

Gash Stache (def., noun): An artfully-manicured pubic adornment above a woman's vagina. This may include the Hitler, the popular landing strip, a classic inverted triangle, the suggestive "V", a 19th Century handlebar fuckstache, or a variety of fun shapes depending on the steady hand and precision grooming equipment. A clean shave is always welcome, but a fun little patch of fur above the V-zone can be a great touch. The Bin Laden beard however, is not.

~A sensational new word from AndyBones, aka PaulAllensCard- Lovingly tending to G-spots & clitoris (pl.-clitori?) since boot-cut jeans were in style~

A cute little "gash stache" is a nice change of pace between the bald weeks ladies, don't be a slave to the wax strip.

by PaulAllensCard November 22, 2016

The Anal Iconoclast

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.

The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.

by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015

Butt Rocket

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)

I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.

by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015

Rasputin's Revenge

A mean prank for which you will need the following items: A sleeping girlfriend or friend, an apple carved into a little jack-o-lantern complete with a lit birthday candle inside, and a glass of icewater. Hang the scary apple-lantern from a string in front of the sleeper's face, dip your hand in the icewater until it's very cold, and then cover their mouth with your icy hand. They will instantly wake up and see a red glowing head in their face and attempt to scream, only to be muffled by an icy, dead hand.

"My girlfriend would not have sex with me last night, so later I pulled the old Rasputin's Revenge"

by PaulAllensCard May 20, 2013

Cocoa Puff

When you sit on someone else's pillow and blow a hot, rancid fart into it as you slowly raise your ass off it to create a sponge effect that will trap the smell inside. Later when that person goes to bed and presses their head into the pillow, the stale fart is ejected right into their face.

My mother-in-law is staying in the guest room, so I made sure to leave a cocoa puff in both pillows.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Ejector Treats

The candy that blows out everywhere when a pilot hits the ejector seat to bail out of a fighter jet.

That way, you may have lost your cool airplane and will soon become a P.O.W. but at least there is candy.

During WWII, the Germans were the first to experiment with Ejector Treats

by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015

Newskkake

Newskkake (noun, pron. "Nooz-Cocky", variation of root word Bukkake)

1. When annoying news or sports "reminders" explode all over your phone/ tablet/ computer notifications bar (Modern connotation)

2. When you subscribe to so many newspapers that legions of delivery boys eject their loads onto your lawn every night (Classic connotation)

(TV news anchor speaking) "We'll have more later on that possible nuke theft by ISIS, but first, more bizarre behavior by Lindsay Lohan! Apparently, LiLo has been spotted with what appears to be a custom built dildo-crackpipe hybrid, *and* what she's tweeting about it could save you money! For those of you at work, switch off your ringer and prepare for the inevitable all-day Newskkake."

by PaulAllensCard February 2, 2015