Flirty Sanchez

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity
The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.
by PaulAllensCard February 06, 2015
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Wallet Fossil

An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.
"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."
by PaulAllensCard January 31, 2015
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Thotley Crëw

Thotley Crëw noun: A small group of attractive young women with glam punk accessories, brightly dyed hair, would be more likely to have sex with me than blonde brenda
Wow that is a Thotley Crëw
by PaulAllensCard August 11, 2021
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Christian Bail

Bail money put forth by the Catholic Church to release a priest from jail on molestation charges
Your Holiness, we have put up millions in Christian Bail- the gold-plated high-rise cathedral project must be put on hold for now
by PaulAllensCard February 04, 2015
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Cosby Jacket

The arrest record of a serial rapist or sex offender ("Jacket" being an acronym for a criminal history file). A play on the infamous "Cosby Sweater".
An in-depth background check on the school janitor revealed a Cosby Jacket hidden in his closet.
by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
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Purse Dogma

1. The irrefutable law that any woman with a purse dog is a pretentious, vapid cunt
If you brave the perils of Purse Dogma, you and your little dog are going to hell bitch
by PaulAllensCard August 15, 2020
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Yogurt Fountain

The three-way shot of ejaculate from a pierced penis without the ring, creating a fountain-like eruption of semen.

Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot
Ever since I lost my ring the old Yogurt Fountain spits in my eye every time I rub one out.
by PaulAllensCard February 03, 2015
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