PaulAllensCard's definitions

ROM Job

1. A sexual encounter with a robot

2. Being molested by someone disguised as a robot

The new generation T-3000 is fully sentient, made from high-tensile alloys, is combat ready, and gives one tornado of an erotic ROM Job.

by PaulAllensCard February 2, 2015

Travelsectomy

TRAvel-sectomy Eng., N.: A horrible incident, drug or procedure which neutralizes one's will to travel

A bunch of motherfuckers are gonna get a travelsectomy this year

by PaulAllensCard January 20, 2021

Nukkake

(noun, pron. "Nu-cocky") The strategic act of war in which one country, state or province is bombarded with nuclear missiles from all angles by surrounding hostile nations. Ideally this would end once all belligerent forces have fully expended their stockpiles and the target is covered in pearly white fallout.

"Mr. President, North Korea just hit Seoul, Okinawa and Taiwan with medium-range ballistic missiles... We have all members of NATO on conference, and they unanimously voted to respond with a Nukkake."

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Contra Code

(Sex act) While performing oral sex on a woman, the tongue manipulates the clitoris like a joystick moving up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right- the same directional commands used in the infamous "99 lives" cheat in the old 80's Nintendo game Contra. Since the same cheat works in the classic Castlevania, this could also be referred to as The Castlevania Code, or even "Contralingus".

"I had my face in her crotch for a good ten minutes, but once I entered the Contra Code she squirted so hard I saw it arc right over my shoulder"

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Yogurt Fountain

The three-way shot of ejaculate from a pierced penis without the ring, creating a fountain-like eruption of semen.

Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot

Ever since I lost my ring the old Yogurt Fountain spits in my eye every time I rub one out.

by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015

Wallet Fossil

An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.

"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Ejector Treats

The candy that blows out everywhere when a pilot hits the ejector seat to bail out of a fighter jet.

That way, you may have lost your cool airplane and will soon become a P.O.W. but at least there is candy.

During WWII, the Germans were the first to experiment with Ejector Treats

by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015