26 definition by PaulAllensCard

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity
The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.
by PaulAllensCard February 06, 2015

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A spray that repels vegans
This weekend I'm driving to Santa Monica, so I'm gonna need a few cans of Ve-Gon
by PaulAllensCard February 06, 2015

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A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.
The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.
by PaulAllensCard February 05, 2015

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The candy that blows out everywhere when a pilot hits the ejector seat to bail out of a fighter jet.

That way, you may have lost your cool airplane and will soon become a P.O.W. but at least there is candy.
During WWII, the Germans were the first to experiment with Ejector Treats
by PaulAllensCard February 05, 2015

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The arrest record of a serial rapist or sex offender ("Jacket" being an acronym for a criminal history file). A play on the infamous "Cosby Sweater".
An in-depth background check on the school janitor revealed a Cosby Jacket hidden in his closet.
by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

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A mean prank for which you will need the following items: A sleeping girlfriend or friend, an apple carved into a little jack-o-lantern complete with a lit birthday candle inside, and a glass of icewater. Hang the scary apple-lantern from a string in front of the sleeper's face, dip your hand in the icewater until it's very cold, and then cover their mouth with your icy hand. They will instantly wake up and see a red glowing head in their face and attempt to scream, only to be muffled by an icy, dead hand.
"My girlfriend would not have sex with me last night, so later I pulled the old Rasputin's Revenge"
by PaulAllensCard May 20, 2013

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A Middle Eastern-owned retail liquor and/ or food store, usually not part of a chain.
"The 7-11 doesn't sell hard liquor, so let's go to snackistan."
by PaulAllensCard May 19, 2013

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