PaulAllensCard's definitions

Spread Stick

(Prank) You take someone's "solid stick" deodorant, twist the stick all the way out, remove the deodorant, screw the bottom part back down and then *replace it with cream cheese*. NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT: Once the casing is filled, you use a butter knife to "sculpt" the cream cheese to look just like the deodorant stick. Now replace the cap, and wait for the fun.

If you're reading this you should immediately "Spread Stick" someone.

by PaulAllensCard February 2, 2015

ROM Job

1. A sexual encounter with a robot

2. Being molested by someone disguised as a robot

The new generation T-3000 is fully sentient, made from high-tensile alloys, is combat ready, and gives one tornado of an erotic ROM Job.

by PaulAllensCard February 2, 2015

Purse Dogma

1. The irrefutable law that any woman with a purse dog is a pretentious, vapid cunt

If you brave the perils of Purse Dogma, you and your little dog are going to hell bitch

by PaulAllensCard August 15, 2020

The Anal Iconoclast

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.

The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.

by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015

Douche Coupe

Douche Coupe: A person of such extremely lame character it's neither practical nor easy to handle- it's full on turbo sporting; a level of lameness that contrasts the utilitarian minivan of jerkoff (and even surpasses the douchiness of a giant lifted truck with those chrome testicles swinging from the bumper) with downright flamboyant, high-performance Ferrari-quality shortcomings.

Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"

Glenn Beck is a raging V-12 douche coupe.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Gash Stache

Gash Stache (def., noun): An artfully-manicured pubic adornment above a woman's vagina. This may include the Hitler, the popular landing strip, a classic inverted triangle, the suggestive "V", a 19th Century handlebar fuckstache, or a variety of fun shapes depending on the steady hand and precision grooming equipment. A clean shave is always welcome, but a fun little patch of fur above the V-zone can be a great touch. The Bin Laden beard however, is not.

~A sensational new word from AndyBones, aka PaulAllensCard- Lovingly tending to G-spots & clitoris (pl.-clitori?) since boot-cut jeans were in style~

A cute little "gash stache" is a nice change of pace between the bald weeks ladies, don't be a slave to the wax strip.

by PaulAllensCard November 22, 2016

Butt Rocket

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)

I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.

by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015