PaulAllensCard's definitions
by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015
Get the Butt Rocket mug.An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.
"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."
by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Get the Wallet Fossil mug.(Sex act) While performing oral sex on a woman, the tongue manipulates the clitoris like a joystick moving up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right- the same directional commands used in the infamous "99 lives" cheat in the old 80's Nintendo game Contra. Since the same cheat works in the classic Castlevania, this could also be referred to as The Castlevania Code, or even "Contralingus".
"I had my face in her crotch for a good ten minutes, but once I entered the Contra Code she squirted so hard I saw it arc right over my shoulder"
by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Get the Contra Code mug.The three-way shot of ejaculate from a pierced penis without the ring, creating a fountain-like eruption of semen.
Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot
Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot
by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015
Get the Yogurt Fountain mug.by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015
Get the Ve-Gon mug.Gash Stache (def., noun): An artfully-manicured pubic adornment above a woman's vagina. This may include the Hitler, the popular landing strip, a classic inverted triangle, the suggestive "V", a 19th Century handlebar fuckstache, or a variety of fun shapes depending on the steady hand and precision grooming equipment. A clean shave is always welcome, but a fun little patch of fur above the V-zone can be a great touch. The Bin Laden beard however, is not.
~A sensational new word from AndyBones, aka PaulAllensCard- Lovingly tending to G-spots & clitoris (pl.-clitori?) since boot-cut jeans were in style~
~A sensational new word from AndyBones, aka PaulAllensCard- Lovingly tending to G-spots & clitoris (pl.-clitori?) since boot-cut jeans were in style~
A cute little "gash stache" is a nice change of pace between the bald weeks ladies, don't be a slave to the wax strip.
by PaulAllensCard November 22, 2016
Get the Gash Stache mug.Douche Coupe: A person of such extremely lame character it's neither practical nor easy to handle- it's full on turbo sporting; a level of lameness that contrasts the utilitarian minivan of jerkoff (and even surpasses the douchiness of a giant lifted truck with those chrome testicles swinging from the bumper) with downright flamboyant, high-performance Ferrari-quality shortcomings.
Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"
Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"
by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Get the Douche Coupe mug.