Ve-Gon

A spray that repels vegans

This weekend I'm driving to Santa Monica, so I'm gonna need a few cans of Ve-Gon

by PaulAllensCard February 06, 2015

Jungle Dusting

Sprinkling someone else's pillow with pubic hair that's been ground into dust or chopped up into tiny enough pieces that it will 1. not be easily seen or detected and 2. likely be inhaled, ingested and stuck to the face not unlike glitter.

Other names include Grinch Powder, Dream Glitter, The Salty Sandman, Fairy Dust, Pillow Peppering

"Grandma, I am so sorry to have to tell you this right now, with you being in the hospital and so ill.... Okay, remember that Christmas you gave me the 60" Vizio plasma TV when I very clearly wanted the Sony LED? Well, I jungle dusted your pillow the next time you came to stay with us. Whoo! Damn, I feel SO much better now that you know!! Bye gram-gram."

Jungle Dusting.

by PaulAllensCard January 31, 2015

Newskkake

Newskkake (noun, pron. "Nooz-Cocky", variation of root word Bukkake)

1. When annoying news or sports "reminders" explode all over your phone/ tablet/ computer notifications bar (Modern connotation)

2. When you subscribe to so many newspapers that legions of delivery boys eject their loads onto your lawn every night (Classic connotation)

(TV news anchor speaking) "We'll have more later on that possible nuke theft by ISIS, but first, more bizarre behavior by Lindsay Lohan! Apparently, LiLo has been spotted with what appears to be a custom built dildo-crackpipe hybrid, *and* what she's tweeting about it could save you money! For those of you at work, switch off your ringer and prepare for the inevitable all-day Newskkake."

by PaulAllensCard February 02, 2015

Contra Code

(Sex act) While performing oral sex on a woman, the tongue manipulates the clitoris like a joystick moving up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right- the same directional commands used in the infamous "99 lives" cheat in the old 80's Nintendo game Contra. Since the same cheat works in the classic Castlevania, this could also be referred to as The Castlevania Code, or even "Contralingus".

"I had my face in her crotch for a good ten minutes, but once I entered the Contra Code she squirted so hard I saw it arc right over my shoulder"

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Yogurt Fountain

The three-way shot of ejaculate from a pierced penis without the ring, creating a fountain-like eruption of semen.

Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot

Ever since I lost my ring the old Yogurt Fountain spits in my eye every time I rub one out.

by PaulAllensCard February 03, 2015

Purse Dogma

1. The irrefutable law that any woman with a purse dog is a pretentious, vapid cunt

If you brave the perils of Purse Dogma, you and your little dog are going to hell bitch

by PaulAllensCard August 15, 2020

Spread Stick

(Prank) You take someone's "solid stick" deodorant, twist the stick all the way out, remove the deodorant, screw the bottom part back down and then *replace it with cream cheese*. NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT: Once the casing is filled, you use a butter knife to "sculpt" the cream cheese to look just like the deodorant stick. Now replace the cap, and wait for the fun.

If you're reading this you should immediately "Spread Stick" someone.

by PaulAllensCard February 02, 2015