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PaulAllensCard's definitions

Christian Bail

Bail money put forth by the Catholic Church to release a priest from jail on molestation charges
Your Holiness, we have put up millions in Christian Bail- the gold-plated high-rise cathedral project must be put on hold for now
by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015
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Hot Wax Dart

(noun) A forceful, high-velocity shot of semen, typically pressurized by a long-term buildup resulting from:

1. Infrequent tug sessions

2. Denial of sex or

3. Inconclusive vaginal/ oral copulation
Sex-starved for months, Carlos finally bedded Vanessa. After twelve seconds of furious thrusting a painful spike in his ball-pressure erupted, firing a deadly Hot Wax Dart directly into Vanessa's cervix
....and therefore scoring a Balls-eye.
by PaulAllensCard February 4, 2015
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Ejector Treats

The candy that blows out everywhere when a pilot hits the ejector seat to bail out of a fighter jet.

That way, you may have lost your cool airplane and will soon become a P.O.W. but at least there is candy.
During WWII, the Germans were the first to experiment with Ejector Treats
by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015
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The Anal Iconoclast

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.
The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.
by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015
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Ve-Gon

A spray that repels vegans
This weekend I'm driving to Santa Monica, so I'm gonna need a few cans of Ve-Gon
by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015
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Flirty Sanchez

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity
The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.
by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015
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Butt Rocket

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)
I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.
by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015
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