PaulAllensCard's definitions

Wallet Fossil

An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.

"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Contra Code

(Sex act) While performing oral sex on a woman, the tongue manipulates the clitoris like a joystick moving up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right- the same directional commands used in the infamous "99 lives" cheat in the old 80's Nintendo game Contra. Since the same cheat works in the classic Castlevania, this could also be referred to as The Castlevania Code, or even "Contralingus".

"I had my face in her crotch for a good ten minutes, but once I entered the Contra Code she squirted so hard I saw it arc right over my shoulder"

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Yogurt Fountain

The three-way shot of ejaculate from a pierced penis without the ring, creating a fountain-like eruption of semen.

Could also be called the Yogurt Shotgun, Tapioca Sprinkler or Spread Shot

Ever since I lost my ring the old Yogurt Fountain spits in my eye every time I rub one out.

by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015

Tug Tent

A private space for discreet masturbation created by draping sheets over the lower bunk of a bunk bed, usually in a communal living situation like county jail or band camp.

"Hey Antoine, can I borrow your blanket? I'm building a tug tent..."

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Thotley Crëw

Thotley Crëw noun: A small group of attractive young women with glam punk accessories, brightly dyed hair, would be more likely to have sex with me than blonde brenda

Wow that is a Thotley Crëw

by PaulAllensCard August 11, 2021

Flirty Sanchez

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity

The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.

by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015

Snackistan

A Middle Eastern-owned retail liquor and/ or food store, usually not part of a chain.

"The 7-11 doesn't sell hard liquor, so let's go to snackistan."

by PaulAllensCard May 19, 2013