PaulAllensCard's definitions

Christian Bail

Bail money put forth by the Catholic Church to release a priest from jail on molestation charges

Your Holiness, we have put up millions in Christian Bail- the gold-plated high-rise cathedral project must be put on hold for now

by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015

Girth Control Pills

Girth Control Pills (def., noun): Any prescription to remedy erectile dysfunction. Includes known dick pills like Viagra, Cialis and Hardonex.

~One more gash-gouging original term by AndyBones, the man who wields the net handle PaulAllensCard~

With these new girth control pills, you can literally see your own reflection on your cock!

by PaulAllensCard November 21, 2016

Hot Wax Dart

(noun) A forceful, high-velocity shot of semen, typically pressurized by a long-term buildup resulting from:

1. Infrequent tug sessions

2. Denial of sex or

3. Inconclusive vaginal/ oral copulation

Sex-starved for months, Carlos finally bedded Vanessa. After twelve seconds of furious thrusting a painful spike in his ball-pressure erupted, firing a deadly Hot Wax Dart directly into Vanessa's cervix
....and therefore scoring a Balls-eye.

by PaulAllensCard February 4, 2015

Cocoa Puff

When you sit on someone else's pillow and blow a hot, rancid fart into it as you slowly raise your ass off it to create a sponge effect that will trap the smell inside. Later when that person goes to bed and presses their head into the pillow, the stale fart is ejected right into their face.

My mother-in-law is staying in the guest room, so I made sure to leave a cocoa puff in both pillows.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Tug Tent

A private space for discreet masturbation created by draping sheets over the lower bunk of a bunk bed, usually in a communal living situation like county jail or band camp.

"Hey Antoine, can I borrow your blanket? I'm building a tug tent..."

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

Thotley Crëw

Thotley Crëw noun: A small group of attractive young women with glam punk accessories, brightly dyed hair, would be more likely to have sex with me than blonde brenda

Wow that is a Thotley Crëw

by PaulAllensCard August 11, 2021

Snackistan

A Middle Eastern-owned retail liquor and/ or food store, usually not part of a chain.

"The 7-11 doesn't sell hard liquor, so let's go to snackistan."

by PaulAllensCard May 19, 2013