Definitions by PaulAllensCard
Tug Tent
A private space for discreet masturbation created by draping sheets over the lower bunk of a bunk bed, usually in a communal living situation like county jail or band camp.
Tug Tent by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Wallet Fossil
An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.
"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."
Wallet Fossil by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Douche Coupe
Douche Coupe: A person of such extremely lame character it's neither practical nor easy to handle- it's full on turbo sporting; a level of lameness that contrasts the utilitarian minivan of jerkoff (and even surpasses the douchiness of a giant lifted truck with those chrome testicles swinging from the bumper) with downright flamboyant, high-performance Ferrari-quality shortcomings.
Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"
Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"
Douche Coupe by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Nukkake
(noun, pron. "Nu-cocky") The strategic act of war in which one country, state or province is bombarded with nuclear missiles from all angles by surrounding hostile nations. Ideally this would end once all belligerent forces have fully expended their stockpiles and the target is covered in pearly white fallout.
"Mr. President, North Korea just hit Seoul, Okinawa and Taiwan with medium-range ballistic missiles... We have all members of NATO on conference, and they unanimously voted to respond with a Nukkake."
Nukkake by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Cosby Jacket
The arrest record of a serial rapist or sex offender ("Jacket" being an acronym for a criminal history file). A play on the infamous "Cosby Sweater".
Cosby Jacket by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Cocoa Puff
When you sit on someone else's pillow and blow a hot, rancid fart into it as you slowly raise your ass off it to create a sponge effect that will trap the smell inside. Later when that person goes to bed and presses their head into the pillow, the stale fart is ejected right into their face.
My mother-in-law is staying in the guest room, so I made sure to leave a cocoa puff in both pillows.
Cocoa Puff by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Rasputin's Revenge
A mean prank for which you will need the following items: A sleeping girlfriend or friend, an apple carved into a little jack-o-lantern complete with a lit birthday candle inside, and a glass of icewater. Hang the scary apple-lantern from a string in front of the sleeper's face, dip your hand in the icewater until it's very cold, and then cover their mouth with your icy hand. They will instantly wake up and see a red glowing head in their face and attempt to scream, only to be muffled by an icy, dead hand.
Rasputin's Revenge by PaulAllensCard May 20, 2013