An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.
"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."
by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015
Get the Wallet Fossilmug. A mean prank for which you will need the following items: A sleeping girlfriend or friend, an apple carved into a little jack-o-lantern complete with a lit birthday candle inside, and a glass of icewater. Hang the scary apple-lantern from a string in front of the sleeper's face, dip your hand in the icewater until it's very cold, and then cover their mouth with your icy hand. They will instantly wake up and see a red glowing head in their face and attempt to scream, only to be muffled by an icy, dead hand.
by PaulAllensCard May 20, 2013
Get the Rasputin's Revengemug. TRAvel-sectomy Eng., N.: A horrible incident, drug or procedure which neutralizes one's will to travel
by PaulAllensCard January 20, 2021
Get the Travelsectomymug. When you sit on someone else's pillow and blow a hot, rancid fart into it as you slowly raise your ass off it to create a sponge effect that will trap the smell inside. Later when that person goes to bed and presses their head into the pillow, the stale fart is ejected right into their face.
My mother-in-law is staying in the guest room, so I made sure to leave a cocoa puff in both pillows.
by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
Get the Cocoa Puffmug. The new generation T-3000 is fully sentient, made from high-tensile alloys, is combat ready, and gives one tornado of an erotic ROM Job.
by PaulAllensCard February 02, 2015
Get the ROM Jobmug. Controligarch English, noun: This is the fun part- YOU get to do my thinking 👍🎅🏿
Make it about your boyf, or if you ARE the quasi-abusive boyoyff then make it about your Russian gamepad issues financially driven to politically influence things on yachts with tacky gold and marble decor- it's bananas! Go nuts you deserve it
Make it about your boyf, or if you ARE the quasi-abusive boyoyff then make it about your Russian gamepad issues financially driven to politically influence things on yachts with tacky gold and marble decor- it's bananas! Go nuts you deserve it
The word is "controligarch"
By the way there's some shit on the northwest corner of your touchscreen, sugarplum. Give it a wet wipe yo 💕
By the way there's some shit on the northwest corner of your touchscreen, sugarplum. Give it a wet wipe yo 💕
by PaulAllensCard January 20, 2021
Get the Controligarchmug. If you don't vote for my submission of "nucular" or click thumbs down out of embarrassment for not knowing it was incorrect, then fuck you
by PaulAllensCard August 13, 2020
Get the Nucularmug.