PaulAllensCard's definitions

Butt Rocket

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)

I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.

by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015

Purse Dogma

1. The irrefutable law that any woman with a purse dog is a pretentious, vapid cunt

If you brave the perils of Purse Dogma, you and your little dog are going to hell bitch

by PaulAllensCard August 15, 2020

Christian Bail

Bail money put forth by the Catholic Church to release a priest from jail on molestation charges

Your Holiness, we have put up millions in Christian Bail- the gold-plated high-rise cathedral project must be put on hold for now

by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015

Cosby Jacket

The arrest record of a serial rapist or sex offender ("Jacket" being an acronym for a criminal history file). A play on the infamous "Cosby Sweater".

An in-depth background check on the school janitor revealed a Cosby Jacket hidden in his closet.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Girth Control Pills

Girth Control Pills (def., noun): Any prescription to remedy erectile dysfunction. Includes known dick pills like Viagra, Cialis and Hardonex.

~One more gash-gouging original term by AndyBones, the man who wields the net handle PaulAllensCard~

With these new girth control pills, you can literally see your own reflection on your cock!

by PaulAllensCard November 21, 2016

Blummie

Slang word for a "blumpkin". Which is also a slang word. If you don't know what a blumpkin is yet, then fuck you

To-do list: 1. Buy a new garden hose 2. Install new dart board 3. Catch a blummie

by PaulAllensCard December 12, 2016

The Anal Iconoclast

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.

The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.

by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015