PaulAllensCard's definitions

Butt Rocket

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)

I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.

by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015

Christian Bail

Bail money put forth by the Catholic Church to release a priest from jail on molestation charges

Your Holiness, we have put up millions in Christian Bail- the gold-plated high-rise cathedral project must be put on hold for now

by PaulAllensCard February 3, 2015

Girth Control Pills

Girth Control Pills (def., noun): Any prescription to remedy erectile dysfunction. Includes known dick pills like Viagra, Cialis and Hardonex.

~One more gash-gouging original term by AndyBones, the man who wields the net handle PaulAllensCard~

With these new girth control pills, you can literally see your own reflection on your cock!

by PaulAllensCard November 21, 2016

Cosby Jacket

The arrest record of a serial rapist or sex offender ("Jacket" being an acronym for a criminal history file). A play on the infamous "Cosby Sweater".

An in-depth background check on the school janitor revealed a Cosby Jacket hidden in his closet.

by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015

Flirty Sanchez

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity

The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.

by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015

Jungle Dusting

Sprinkling someone else's pillow with pubic hair that's been ground into dust or chopped up into tiny enough pieces that it will 1. not be easily seen or detected and 2. likely be inhaled, ingested and stuck to the face not unlike glitter.

Other names include Grinch Powder, Dream Glitter, The Salty Sandman, Fairy Dust, Pillow Peppering

"Grandma, I am so sorry to have to tell you this right now, with you being in the hospital and so ill.... Okay, remember that Christmas you gave me the 60" Vizio plasma TV when I very clearly wanted the Sony LED? Well, I jungle dusted your pillow the next time you came to stay with us. Whoo! Damn, I feel SO much better now that you know!! Bye gram-gram."

Jungle Dusting.

by PaulAllensCard January 31, 2015

Controligarch

Controligarch English, noun: This is the fun part- YOU get to do my thinking 👍🎅🏿
Make it about your boyf, or if you ARE the quasi-abusive boyoyff then make it about your Russian gamepad issues financially driven to politically influence things on yachts with tacky gold and marble decor- it's bananas! Go nuts you deserve it

The word is "controligarch"
By the way there's some shit on the northwest corner of your touchscreen, sugarplum. Give it a wet wipe yo 💕

by PaulAllensCard January 20, 2021