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PaulAllensCard's definitions

Controligarch

Controligarch English, noun: This is the fun part- YOU get to do my thinking ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฟ
Make it about your boyf, or if you ARE the quasi-abusive boyoyff then make it about your Russian gamepad issues financially driven to politically influence things on yachts with tacky gold and marble decor- it's bananas! Go nuts you deserve it
The word is "controligarch"
By the way there's some shit on the northwest corner of your touchscreen, sugarplum. Give it a wet wipe yo ๐Ÿ’•
by PaulAllensCard January 20, 2021
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Jungle Dusting

Sprinkling someone else's pillow with pubic hair that's been ground into dust or chopped up into tiny enough pieces that it will 1. not be easily seen or detected and 2. likely be inhaled, ingested and stuck to the face not unlike glitter.

Other names include Grinch Powder, Dream Glitter, The Salty Sandman, Fairy Dust, Pillow Peppering
"Grandma, I am so sorry to have to tell you this right now, with you being in the hospital and so ill.... Okay, remember that Christmas you gave me the 60" Vizio plasma TV when I very clearly wanted the Sony LED? Well, I jungle dusted your pillow the next time you came to stay with us. Whoo! Damn, I feel SO much better now that you know!! Bye gram-gram."

Jungle Dusting.
by PaulAllensCard January 31, 2015
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The Anal Iconoclast

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.
The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.
by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015
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Douche Coupe

Douche Coupe: A person of such extremely lame character it's neither practical nor easy to handle- it's full on turbo sporting; a level of lameness that contrasts the utilitarian minivan of jerkoff (and even surpasses the douchiness of a giant lifted truck with those chrome testicles swinging from the bumper) with downright flamboyant, high-performance Ferrari-quality shortcomings.

Inspired partially by the classic oldie, "My little douche-coupe... You don't know what I got!"
Glenn Beck is a raging V-12 douche coupe.
by PaulAllensCard January 29, 2015
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ROM Job

1. A sexual encounter with a robot

2. Being molested by someone disguised as a robot
The new generation T-3000 is fully sentient, made from high-tensile alloys, is combat ready, and gives one tornado of an erotic ROM Job.
by PaulAllensCard February 2, 2015
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Hot Wax Dart

(noun) A forceful, high-velocity shot of semen, typically pressurized by a long-term buildup resulting from:

1. Infrequent tug sessions

2. Denial of sex or

3. Inconclusive vaginal/ oral copulation
Sex-starved for months, Carlos finally bedded Vanessa. After twelve seconds of furious thrusting a painful spike in his ball-pressure erupted, firing a deadly Hot Wax Dart directly into Vanessa's cervix
....and therefore scoring a Balls-eye.
by PaulAllensCard February 4, 2015
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Blummie

Slang word for a "blumpkin". Which is also a slang word. If you don't know what a blumpkin is yet, then fuck you
To-do list: 1. Buy a new garden hose 2. Install new dart board 3. Catch a blummie
by PaulAllensCard December 12, 2016
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