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PaulAllensCard's definitions

Jungle Dusting

Sprinkling someone else's pillow with pubic hair that's been ground into dust or chopped up into tiny enough pieces that it will 1. not be easily seen or detected and 2. likely be inhaled, ingested and stuck to the face not unlike glitter.

Other names include Grinch Powder, Dream Glitter, The Salty Sandman, Fairy Dust, Pillow Peppering
"Grandma, I am so sorry to have to tell you this right now, with you being in the hospital and so ill.... Okay, remember that Christmas you gave me the 60" Vizio plasma TV when I very clearly wanted the Sony LED? Well, I jungle dusted your pillow the next time you came to stay with us. Whoo! Damn, I feel SO much better now that you know!! Bye gram-gram."

Jungle Dusting.
by PaulAllensCard January 31, 2015
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Blummie

Slang word for a "blumpkin". Which is also a slang word. If you don't know what a blumpkin is yet, then fuck you
To-do list: 1. Buy a new garden hose 2. Install new dart board 3. Catch a blummie
by PaulAllensCard December 12, 2016
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Hot Wax Dart

(noun) A forceful, high-velocity shot of semen, typically pressurized by a long-term buildup resulting from:

1. Infrequent tug sessions

2. Denial of sex or

3. Inconclusive vaginal/ oral copulation
Sex-starved for months, Carlos finally bedded Vanessa. After twelve seconds of furious thrusting a painful spike in his ball-pressure erupted, firing a deadly Hot Wax Dart directly into Vanessa's cervix
....and therefore scoring a Balls-eye.
by PaulAllensCard February 4, 2015
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Newskkake

Newskkake (noun, pron. "Nooz-Cocky", variation of root word Bukkake)

1. When annoying news or sports "reminders" explode all over your phone/ tablet/ computer notifications bar (Modern connotation)

2. When you subscribe to so many newspapers that legions of delivery boys eject their loads onto your lawn every night (Classic connotation)
(TV news anchor speaking) "We'll have more later on that possible nuke theft by ISIS, but first, more bizarre behavior by Lindsay Lohan! Apparently, LiLo has been spotted with what appears to be a custom built dildo-crackpipe hybrid, *and* what she's tweeting about it could save you money! For those of you at work, switch off your ringer and prepare for the inevitable all-day Newskkake."
by PaulAllensCard February 2, 2015
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Ejector Treats

The candy that blows out everywhere when a pilot hits the ejector seat to bail out of a fighter jet.

That way, you may have lost your cool airplane and will soon become a P.O.W. but at least there is candy.
During WWII, the Germans were the first to experiment with Ejector Treats
by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015
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Travelsectomy

TRAvel-sectomy Eng., N.: A horrible incident, drug or procedure which neutralizes one's will to travel
A bunch of motherfuckers are gonna get a travelsectomy this year
by PaulAllensCard January 20, 2021
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Flirty Sanchez

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity
The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.
by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015
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