Definitions by PaulAllensCard

Girth Control Pills 

Girth Control Pills (def., noun): Any prescription to remedy erectile dysfunction. Includes known dick pills like Viagra, Cialis and Hardonex.

~One more gash-gouging original term by AndyBones, the man who wields the net handle PaulAllensCard~

With these new girth control pills, you can literally see your own reflection on your cock!

Girth Control Pills by PaulAllensCard November 21, 2016

Butt Rocket 

A shot of drugs up the ass via oral syringe (the kind you use to feed a baby squirrel or whatever)

I have never done a butt rocket, I'm simply reporting it's existence.

Butt Rocket by PaulAllensCard October 13, 2015

Ve-Gon 

A spray that repels vegans

This weekend I'm driving to Santa Monica, so I'm gonna need a few cans of Ve-Gon

Ve-Gon by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015

Flirty Sanchez 

Playfully "drawing" a mustache on your partner's upper lip, with a clean finger and prior to any sexual activity

The night was going well. Carlito paused in the middle of the kiss to give Michelle a Flirty Sanchez, which should've warned her what might later touch her face.

Flirty Sanchez by PaulAllensCard February 6, 2015

Ejector Treats 

The candy that blows out everywhere when a pilot hits the ejector seat to bail out of a fighter jet.

That way, you may have lost your cool airplane and will soon become a P.O.W. but at least there is candy.

During WWII, the Germans were the first to experiment with Ejector Treats

Ejector Treats by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015

The Anal Iconoclast 

A gasoline-powered dildo with 7mm studs, which I designed while in art school. Features a chainsaw-style grip, 6-speed transmission and a twin-turbocharged V8. Hybrid model is in the works.

The Anal Iconoclast is rated at 600 horsepower and 91-octane fuel is recommended.

The Anal Iconoclast by PaulAllensCard February 5, 2015

Hot Wax Dart 

(noun) A forceful, high-velocity shot of semen, typically pressurized by a long-term buildup resulting from:

1. Infrequent tug sessions

2. Denial of sex or

3. Inconclusive vaginal/ oral copulation

Sex-starved for months, Carlos finally bedded Vanessa. After twelve seconds of furious thrusting a painful spike in his ball-pressure erupted, firing a deadly Hot Wax Dart directly into Vanessa's cervix
....and therefore scoring a Balls-eye.

Hot Wax Dart by PaulAllensCard February 4, 2015