PaperMachete's definitions

stop talking

self-explanatory phrase used to say in polite terms something that could be said in a lot ruder fashion.

Please stop talking, my friend.

by papermachete November 13, 2005

My eyes! They feel like needles!

What one screams in agony when one's eyes feel like needles.

Often shouted hysterically when hydrochloric acid, potassium permanganate, nitric acid, citric acid or some caustic or industrial chemical enters your eyes, and you can't help but scream in pain.

Greg Gregorius (after squirting orange juice in his eye): My eyes! They feel like needles!
Me: Here, let me gouge them out for you with this plastic spoon.
Greg: No, I'm quite fine, thanks.

by PaperMachete October 26, 2005

hellyo

a combination of hello and yo

hellyo is used only to address people in frustration or anger

Hellyo! What the fuck are you doing?

by PaperMachete October 26, 2005

cough

(n.) 1. Something you do to disguise what you're saying to mock the person spoken to. 2. A hack, splutter, clearing of the throat.

(v.) To hack, splutter, or clear the throat.

*cough*Fuckin asshole cunthead cocklicker motherfucker!cough*

by papermachete December 28, 2005

failure

i. A good excuse not to try.

ii. One who fucks up all the time.

iii. One who goes to Yale but has the vocabulary and comprehension of a sea cucumber.

See also: George W. Bush, Dubya, Ashlee Simpson, Enron, Operation Iraqi Liberation

Homer Simpsons: Trying is the first step towards failure.

George W. Bush: I didn't misfailure the country! Honest! It's hard work being president! Realleh hard work! Even my daddeh says it's hard work! I don't get no break on Sundehs too!
Bob Bluebell: What a failure and a jerkwad.

by PaperMachete December 28, 2005

multiple guess

A way of describing a multiple choice test.

Especially if it's ridiculously hard.

Dr. Kuhn (Biology Teacher Extraordinaire): We're going to have a multiple guess test--I mean multiple choice test--tomorrow. Practice tonight by guessing what my favorite jungle animal is.

by PaperMachete October 25, 2005

crack sweat

(n.) The sweat that forms in the asscrack after a sustained period of strenuous physical activity, like running in the summer with three pairs of sweatpants and three layers of coats on in Taiwan. Also can be the sweat that forms in your butthole due to an intense masturbation session or from being horny for an excessive amount of time.

After playing an intense game of squash, my shorts were drenched in crack sweat. Most unpleasant.

Michelle made me so horny and hot inside that crack sweat started to form in my bunkhole.

by papermachete December 28, 2005