Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
by PDXJohnny99 May 22, 2013
Get the Every Time I Breathe Airmug. Those who write, scribble, and draw in the sand, on a beach. Derived from the term 'tagging' in the graffiti/street art community.
Bowlie loved the shore. He was a sand tagger. Every time he took a trip to the beach he would jot down his name with a stick or even his foot...
Sometimes small children would scribble his tags away and draw turds and stickmen and such. Angry teenagers would walk by and destroy the tags because they were spiteful. Sometimes God would intervene with wind or tides as well.
Bowlie felt he lost all 'beach cred' and took this as a sign and gave up sand tagging. He became a male prostitute.
Sometimes small children would scribble his tags away and draw turds and stickmen and such. Angry teenagers would walk by and destroy the tags because they were spiteful. Sometimes God would intervene with wind or tides as well.
Bowlie felt he lost all 'beach cred' and took this as a sign and gave up sand tagging. He became a male prostitute.
by PDXJohnny99 April 23, 2013
Get the sand taggermug. 1. Carl: I'm never watching Game of Thrones... I don't like fantasy.
Carol: Game of Thrones is the best show ever. Ever.
Carl: Shoot. I knocked it... before I rocked it.
2. Stan: I hate to think I'd ever eat sautéed pig stomach... it sounds gross.
Deborah: It's actually okay. My aunt makes it on Thanksgiving.
Stan: Fuck. Seriously???
Deborah: Don't knock it 'til you rock it.
3. Vern: WOW crack IS powerful.
Bert: Goddamn right it's powerful. Don't ever knock it til you rock it. Fucker.
Carol: Game of Thrones is the best show ever. Ever.
Carl: Shoot. I knocked it... before I rocked it.
2. Stan: I hate to think I'd ever eat sautéed pig stomach... it sounds gross.
Deborah: It's actually okay. My aunt makes it on Thanksgiving.
Stan: Fuck. Seriously???
Deborah: Don't knock it 'til you rock it.
3. Vern: WOW crack IS powerful.
Bert: Goddamn right it's powerful. Don't ever knock it til you rock it. Fucker.
by pdxjohnny99 January 03, 2016
Get the Don't knock it 'til you rock itmug. Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.
Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Sesame Standoffmug. Nickname for 'Game of Thrones' fans, an HBO show based on the epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin.
I never in the world thought I would ever watch a Game of Thrones episode. But I did... and now I've been hooked for two years. Its like smoking a Middle Earth crackpipe! I'm so addicted to this show... I can now say I am a true Throne-ite!
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the Throne-itemug. An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.
Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the aggroventionmug. A person who is not only a big mouth, but one that can't stop talking about themselves. Every conversation seems to loop back to 'them'.
Jesse: So, this has been the week from hell.
Chad: Fuuuuck... I've been there, I know what you're going through.
Jesse: Uggghh. My wife threatened to divorce me on Tuesday.
Chad: Oh, I went on a date last week... and she would not put out. Fuck that chick!
Jesse: Then my car's transmission went out.
Chad: Fuuuuck. I had a flat last month. Took AAA almost an hour to fix it.
Jesse: And my dog died.
Chad: Fuuuuuuuck. I know man. I had a goldfish die on me when I was ten.
Jessie: Your fucking goldfish?? You... you are a self-centered metamouth!! My God! Why do I come here every week?? You're the worst shrink I ever had.
Chad: Fuuuuck... I've been there, I know what you're going through.
Jesse: Uggghh. My wife threatened to divorce me on Tuesday.
Chad: Oh, I went on a date last week... and she would not put out. Fuck that chick!
Jesse: Then my car's transmission went out.
Chad: Fuuuuck. I had a flat last month. Took AAA almost an hour to fix it.
Jesse: And my dog died.
Chad: Fuuuuuuuck. I know man. I had a goldfish die on me when I was ten.
Jessie: Your fucking goldfish?? You... you are a self-centered metamouth!! My God! Why do I come here every week?? You're the worst shrink I ever had.
by PDXJohnny99 April 22, 2013
Get the metamouthmug.