Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
by PDXJohnny99 May 22, 2013
Johnny lives in Portland because he loves loves loves the rain. It cheers him up. He is a rainiac.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
by PDXJohnny99 June 02, 2013
Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.
Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
RomZoms is short for Romero Zombies. The films, shows, books or any media regarding the post-Night of the Living Dead/ George Romero type zombie subgenre. These zombies shuffle slowly, groan, feast on human guts and animals... and DO NOT SPRINT LIKE THEYRE TRYING OUT FOR FUCKING TRACK AND FIELD!
Not to be confused with pre-Romero voodoo zombies either... a defining factor is voodoo zombies don't eat people alive.
Not to be confused with pre-Romero voodoo zombies either... a defining factor is voodoo zombies don't eat people alive.
Brandon: Look at these zombies running faster than this physically fit guy.
Brent: Well... they're not Romzoms. So who cares?
Brandon: But their tendons are ripped, they can barely function mentally, how... HOW??
Brent: They're just not Romzoms. No need to even compare.
Brandon: You're right, bro... Romzoms will always rule. Romero is the king.
Brent: Well... they're not Romzoms. So who cares?
Brandon: But their tendons are ripped, they can barely function mentally, how... HOW??
Brent: They're just not Romzoms. No need to even compare.
Brandon: You're right, bro... Romzoms will always rule. Romero is the king.
by PDXJohnny99 April 12, 2013
Artists that draw on sidewalks or other surfaces with chalk; either by children or credible street artists. Chalk art by children are random drawings for fun, but Chalk art by actual artists can be extremely detailed and there are various styles, competitions and 'battles' with chalk sidewalk artists, making it a respected medium; prominently in Tacoma Washington where battles (also known as chalk-offs) have become a weekly event in Frost Park for the last few years.
" Jeez, these Chalkies are getting annoying. Damn kids better clean this up."
"Wow, Spim is an amazing Chalkie! He won the chalk-off again three weeks in a row. Look at the fucking detail in his work... amazing."
"Wow, Spim is an amazing Chalkie! He won the chalk-off again three weeks in a row. Look at the fucking detail in his work... amazing."
by PDXJohnny99 July 14, 2013
Artists that draw on sidewalks or other surfaces with chalk; either by children or credible street artists. Chalk art by children are random drawings for fun, but Chalk art by actual artists can be extremely detailed and there are various styles, competitions and 'battles' with chalk sidewalk artists, making it a respected medium; prominently in Tacoma Washington where battles (also known as chalk-offs) have become a weekly event in Frost Park for the last few years.
" Jeez, these Chalkies are getting annoying. Damn kids better clean this up."
"Wow, Spim is an amazing Chalkie! He won the chalk-off again three weeks in a row. Look at the fucking detail in his work... amazing."
"Wow, Spim is an amazing Chalkie! He won the chalk-off again three weeks in a row. Look at the fucking detail in his work... amazing."
by PDXJohnny99 July 14, 2013