Any fan of zombie films, shows, books, games, etc. Usually in association with the post-Night of the Living Dead era, aka George Romero zombies, aka RomZoms; and not classic voodoo zombies.
Danny is a true zombite. He has every issue of the Walking Dead. He has every Romero film on vhs, laser disc, bluray and dvd.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
by PDXJohnny99 April 18, 2013
Johnny lives in Portland because he loves loves loves the rain. It cheers him up. He is a rainiac.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
by PDXJohnny99 June 02, 2013
Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
She's a Spunk Junkie.
She's got the need for seed.
She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
She's got the need for seed.
She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
by PDXJohnny99 August 26, 2013
Johnny: Boardwalk Empire is the most unpredicatable and most boldly written drama of the century! I am a Board WALKER!!
Dee: Well... our century is rather new...
Johnny: ....and the realism and the truth and the era and the acting... and the CHARACTERS! OMG!
Dee: uh...
Johnny: ...and the authenticity, the unflinching violence....
Dee: zzzzzzzzzzz
Dee: Well... our century is rather new...
Johnny: ....and the realism and the truth and the era and the acting... and the CHARACTERS! OMG!
Dee: uh...
Johnny: ...and the authenticity, the unflinching violence....
Dee: zzzzzzzzzzz
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Someone who needs or tends to leave the television on to help them sleep. Usually rerunning a movie or tv show they've seen so many times to comfort (or bore) them to sleep.
Dave: Your wife Rhonda watches the same freakin' movie every night. Why?
Brent: It makes her fall asleep...and now it makes me fall asleep cuz its freakin' mind-numbing.
Dave: Dear God... I'm surrounded by tube snoozers.
Brent: It makes her fall asleep...and now it makes me fall asleep cuz its freakin' mind-numbing.
Dave: Dear God... I'm surrounded by tube snoozers.
by PDXJohnny99 April 11, 2013
When people don't want to address, debate or offer solutions about the growing issue of the homeless in America.
Wordplay derived from "The elephant in the room" phrase: important issues or subject matter that people tend not to want to discuss, thus overlooking the isuue.
Redlight is a reference to a traffic light; homeless often stand at traffic lights to aquire money from passing drivers.
Wordplay derived from "The elephant in the room" phrase: important issues or subject matter that people tend not to want to discuss, thus overlooking the isuue.
Redlight is a reference to a traffic light; homeless often stand at traffic lights to aquire money from passing drivers.
Michelle was driving home from work and saw a man with a cardboard sign at the taffic light on the corner of Cornell. The Redlight Elephant struck, she wanted to help but drove right by the man.
Jen and Mike were approached by three homeless coming out of the bookstore. They didn't hesitate to walk past without making eye contact. Neither addressed the Redlight Elephant on their walk to the car.
Jen and Mike were approached by three homeless coming out of the bookstore. They didn't hesitate to walk past without making eye contact. Neither addressed the Redlight Elephant on their walk to the car.
by PDXJohnny99 May 11, 2013