Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
by PDXJohnny99 May 22, 2013
Get the Every Time I Breathe Airmug. A threat that's explains itself.
Big Brother: I'm gonna eat your cookies, sis. That okay?
Sister: You do and...I'll fucking eat your fucking eyeballs, fucker!
Big Brother: crunch crunch
Sister: If you fucking eat one fucking more I'll castrate your fucking dog with my teeth!
Big Brother: crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Sister: I'll fucking MURDER YOU TO DEATH!! FUCKER!!
Big Brother: crunch. crunch crunch crunch crunch. crunch crunch
Sister: You do and...I'll fucking eat your fucking eyeballs, fucker!
Big Brother: crunch crunch
Sister: If you fucking eat one fucking more I'll castrate your fucking dog with my teeth!
Big Brother: crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Sister: I'll fucking MURDER YOU TO DEATH!! FUCKER!!
Big Brother: crunch. crunch crunch crunch crunch. crunch crunch
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Murder you to Deathmug. 1. When someone is masturbating and either an awful sound, smell, thought or sight suddenly disturbs the person, thus ending the masturbation process abruptly.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
A. Ray was masturbating when he unexpectedly thought about his neighbor's grandmother and completely lost his hard-on. It was masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
by PDXJohnny99 April 18, 2013
Get the masturbingmug. Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.
Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Sesame Standoffmug. An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.
Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the aggroventionmug. Nickname for 'Game of Thrones' fans, an HBO show based on the epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin.
I never in the world thought I would ever watch a Game of Thrones episode. But I did... and now I've been hooked for two years. Its like smoking a Middle Earth crackpipe! I'm so addicted to this show... I can now say I am a true Throne-ite!
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the Throne-itemug. Those who write, scribble, and draw in the sand, on a beach. Derived from the term 'tagging' in the graffiti/street art community.
Bowlie loved the shore. He was a sand tagger. Every time he took a trip to the beach he would jot down his name with a stick or even his foot...
Sometimes small children would scribble his tags away and draw turds and stickmen and such. Angry teenagers would walk by and destroy the tags because they were spiteful. Sometimes God would intervene with wind or tides as well.
Bowlie felt he lost all 'beach cred' and took this as a sign and gave up sand tagging. He became a male prostitute.
Sometimes small children would scribble his tags away and draw turds and stickmen and such. Angry teenagers would walk by and destroy the tags because they were spiteful. Sometimes God would intervene with wind or tides as well.
Bowlie felt he lost all 'beach cred' and took this as a sign and gave up sand tagging. He became a male prostitute.
by PDXJohnny99 April 23, 2013
Get the sand taggermug.